Forever?

Poem I wrote after the person I breathe and live for, who I was supposed to be with for the rest of my life, who promised me her love, who I completely changed my life for........left me.

I'm shaking and twitching
please take it back
Is this really happening
please take it back

You said I was the best
please think it over
You'll realize what you left
please think it over

My self esteem now is so low
A messed up joke, please say so
I'm broken down under weight
I cannot breathe or concentrate
It's all wrong and not so good
I wish you really understood
You took my heart and made it yours
Tore it open, now blood pours
Was I trying way too hard
Our times we've spent, you'll just discard
Oh your god now please help me
I'm down, I've fallen on my knees
If it's drugs you'd rather stay
I'm sorry I don't live that way...

Reviews

[Magdelena]

Wow. Powerful piece here.. Love is supposed to make you feel like you can achieve anything. Share things together.. Choices made are ones we live with forever.. Your wording was fab on this.. Felt your vulnerability in all, the imagery blew me away.

Mags xx

[Blake Blackstone]

Thanks guys. :)

[Loner]

Great expression .

[George Love]

Great use of metaphors, and this is deep.

[Senseless whatever]

Good write. Nice flow and overall feel to this.

[Zoe Anne]

Awesome metaphors, rhyming scheme, rhythm, and imagery! Keep writing! =)

[ur_ginger_girl]

thats an awsome poem really wicked also, I read you about thing and your bands name sounds awsome.

[Hippy]

its sad and i feel as if you lost someone and your begging them back but wont change yourself for them and they wont change themself for you, it kinda had me lost but i get the picture still and

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime words don't mean much. Real test of love is time. Took me many years to learn. Not to complain and be positive. A powerful and sad poem. Drugs have stole many great loved. Sometime the decision is hard. Best to make the right one. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[The Analog Kid]

Powerful longing for your lost love. Full of emotion.