Prologue for Lily's story

this is the first draft for a novel i'm working on. it's just the prologue for now, but in time more will come.

                 Prologue.

 

 

The dark figure was now kneeling in front of the stones on the floor. I could see clearly how his hands moved. It was like he was making patterns in the air above the stones.
Although i was too far away to hear the exact words he was saying, I heard him speaking, but it wasn’t anything I could recognize. For a moment I thought about getting closer, but I was too scared and transfixed with the scene to actually move.
Slowly the stones started to glow. At first I thought I was just imagining it. I blinked my eyes a couple of times, but the glow started to get stronger. It was an eerie looking green glow, but I couldn’t get my eyes of it. I never really understood the word transfixed, until this moment.

Suddenly everything changed; it felt to me like there was lightning in the air, but not completely the same. It felt harder, more pressing. As if the air itself compressed against my body. Even breathing was harder.
The figure rose and startled me.
I crouched a bit further between the bushes and realized I was soaked in sweat. All my clothes were clinging to my body almost like a second skin. It wasn’t until then that I realized I was scared.
I didn’t know what the hell was happening here, and I was completely alone, in the middle of the night in the woods. For a single moment I thought it all might just be a dream.
I looked back towards the figure and although he was still cloaked in shadows for the most part, the glow from the stones on the ground was bright enough to see some details. The figure looked like a man and wore normal clothes. If he hadn’t had a hood over his head I could have even seen his face.

And just like that it was all over.
The glow was gone, all that was left was darkness and moon cast shadows. I felt cold, even my bones felt chilled. My clothes were still drenched with my sweat and that didn’t help. Slowly I started coming to my senses and just knew I had to get out of here. I turned around, but before I even moved an inch the figure turned to me, and looked tight at me. It was as if his eyes locked me down on that spot
I tried to move with every inch of my being but not a single muscle worked. The figure started moving towards me. He pulled his hood back and I could see his face for the first time. He looked old but well groomed. Clean shaved and I even though he smiled a little half smile towards me. But the most striking thing about him were his eyes. Brown eyes, but it was as if there was a gleam over them, in the same pale green that the stones had earlier.
He was right in front of me now and my heart was racing. But there was nothing I could do, not even blink my eyes. This was the first time in my life I really was terrified. He stretched out his hand to me and I felt the tip of his finger on my forehead. It was as if a brilliant white light exploded behind my eyes.

When I opened my eyes I noticed I was lying on the floor, and some time must have passed because my clothes were completely dry. My body still felt shaky when I tried to sit up.

“Take it easy”. I heard his deep voice from beside me.
I turned to face him and now he looked completely normal to me, just a man in some ragged clothes. He was sitting completely relaxed, as if this was normal day to day business for him.

Anger and rage started rising up inside me. I opened my mouth to accuse him. He did something to me and I didn’t know what. But before I could find my voice he spoke again.

“Don’t react out of fear, just take your time”.
I exhaled and inhaled deeply, but when I spoke my voice was soft and shaky. “Wha.. What was all that?”
At this moment I really hated my insecurities. “What happened?” i finally managed to get out with a bit firmer voice.

“That’s a way to long story for tonight.” He looked as if he had to think over what he was going to say. “But perhaps I could teach you, your mind is right.” And he flashed me that half smile again.

Author's Note

well it's a first draft, so please be a bit gentle.

Reviews

[Odanion]

Hmm, very interesting. I actually like how it is a prologue that does not give anything away. I am confused enough that when the book would start I would not have any prior knowledge of what is going on. So far it does seem interesting and I am inclined to say I would be most interested to read more of your work once you upload some.

The one thing I would have to say is the format used for the story. I would separate the paragraphs with an empty line in-between to make it easier to read (This is a personal preference and some might disagree with me)

Grammar and spelling is not my strong part so there may be some things there but I am little to no help in that I am sorry, although I am sure someone will come around and point some things out.

[Alexander D]

I really enjoyed this and I'd love to read more. I only found one spelling mistake, but I wasn't looking for any.
I hope you continue this story, and I really want to find out what's going on.

I'm not really any authority on good literature, but seriously, keep it up.