Broken Down

The earth breaking a man down.

When the winds forced me to bow down,

Before an imperfect version of myself,

A maddening call sings me a lullaby.

When the ground shook me to my knees,

Before I could properly right myself up,

A quake broke through in a soft voice.

When the sun above seared me alight,

Before I could escape the heat of it,

A sunset broke through.the woods.

Reviews

[Onlyme]

When we are broken and in the chaos that is the time, we listen more intently and clearer and profoundly expressed and heartfelt. And we take action in a good way not bad.

[BBP]

I always love contrast writing! you dressed the chaos up beautifully!

[barleygirl]

Beautifully crafted to show the contrast between our expectations & the way life really happens. I've gotten my most amazing gifts when I was knocked down & out. I love the way each stanza is done with a parallel style, but a unique & original analogy (((HUGS))) fondly, Margie

[Hebe]

Hi Lovecraft, it all flows perfectly each verse offers a glimpse of the back and forth of our conscious trying to give balance to life's difficulties... fragile and beautiful :)

[Giulia King]

I love them all but I really fell in love with the third verse. There's something absolutely beautiful about it. I can't really explain it.

[Lovecraft]

I still feel like that last verse could be improved. Maybe i'm being overly critical. Thanks, GK. :0

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

" a maddening call sings me a lullaby "
The lullaby is the comforting you allow yourself after being humbled. We bow down in the wake of realization, to the price we pay, the power we lack and the mistakes we choose. We take one knee for the surrender and two takes a creed.
The balance of power and softness balance here are an honest write

Sheer Terror

[Lovecraft]

Thanks. I wrote the last verse symbolizing the man accounting for his mistakes. The problem is that I think the last verse is poorly executed on my part.