My Crumbling Mask

A mans carefully wrought facade begins to crumble, exposing his true self.

My Mask is beginning to crumble, exposing the truth beneath,

I can feel the cracks appear as if I stare into the broken mirror

The facade I have carefully maintained losing all its coherency.

Anxiety courses through my being, terrified by how people will

finally react to who I truly am, finally seeing my true self.

I hide behind my crumbling mask like an actor,

Never revealing my emotional state to anyone,

Neither friend nor family nor even to myself.

No one can know who I am for fear of hatred,

For fear of being exposed like an open wound.

Pieces are falling off, breaking like fine porcelain.

But it dawns on me that I can never mend this mask that I don,

The blood seeping throughout, the scars open for all to witness,

And I can never cover my face with the hands I have neglected.

It is too late to repair that which has long been breaking,

And I have to wonder, after all these years of deception...

Who am I?

Author's Note

Just read it and let me know what you think. Alessander unintentionally gave me the inspiration for this poem. Thanks Alessander. ;)

Reviews

[Lord of mad men]

This was a extremely pleasing read. I enjoyed it very much but I am in a state very similar to what you have depicted in this so my review is not the best but I wanted to express some form of respect and try to let you know this is very good. It speaks very deeply​ to me. My mask is not breaking and it's not coming off any time soon. Even those closest to me only know what I have all them to know. We all have a mask to wear we just choose weather to wear it or not. We choose if we define it or it defines us. Under the mask I wear I am changing for I do not yet Know who I am. Thank you very much for publishing this. Yours truly a mad Lord.

[Lovecraft]

Thank you. My mask/facade has some cracks in it but it has yet to crumble.

[Lord of mad men]

We always fear what others think but we fear what we think the most. Our own thoughts are what scares is the most. When the mask does crumble do not try​ to stop it. Remember there are those who only know the mask some might fear change but those people are who have kept the mask on. Be yourself or more then this mask may not be the only thing that crumbles in front of your very eyes.

[apennylate]

That lone word among the glint and glitter of scintillating shifts in rhyme pattern... "Actor"... Felt like an unequivocally powerful rush of fake-ness... Then staggeringly, piece by piece... Asking... Where did the truth go... This could be 100 years old... It will stay a classic... Masks in human nature will remain eternal...

[barleygirl]

This is an amazing observation about life. I love the way you spill it out, starting with a title that literally sings with truth. I also like the way your message ends on an unexpected note . . . no resolution, really . . . just opening up to more questions. My only observation is that stanzas 3 & 4 seem to be better suited as 1 & 2 . . . starting by explaining the mask, then describing how it's crumbling. The order of your message now seems a little bit back-and-forth. But of course, this is just my opinion (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Lovecraft]

Thanks. Your observations on the stanza's are correct as I sometimes write poetry in a somewhat circuitous manner. I tend not to think ahead of the verse when I'm writing it and I rarely edit it afterward. I'll contemplate on whether I should reorganize based on your observations. :)

[zaisham9393]

This is so relateable.I really loved reading it!I No one can live in the shadow or hide behind their "Perfect Self" forever, at one point it cracks and crumble only to let the' authentic self' reveal itself.Loved this! Thanks for sharing!

[MoonChild]

...when it call comes crashing down at once in. Been there and felt it again in this poem.
Good read

[Lovecraft]

Danke. American Psycho was in my mind when I wrote this.

[DanielaMorris]

This gave me anxiety, a good kind of anxiety, how the true form of someone's personality can just emerge and change the way their friends and family might perceive them, is honestly scary to think about. Very well written❤️

[emmajoy]

' .. after all these years of deception.. Who am I? '

Tis hard to EXIST behind a mask because as you say so finely, eventually the you that was has lost shape; Has distorted the YOU hidden not merely due fear, doubt or necessity but perhaps -you need to lose yourself entirely. I've read your words twice, second time aloud and the above are the thoughts that nudged my review until ..

i suddenly thought of a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis. Who knows what dread and doubt is hiding.. There's only one way to find out - and LIVE..

[Lovecraft]

I like this nuanced interpretation. I may even have subconsciously thought about it but didn't realize until I read this review. I haven't visited this site for a while because of certain things and events that took me a long time to properly deal with. Thank you.

[emmajoy]

Happens there are times when we are the servants, not the masters. If you've had things to sort, perhaps you were on auto-pilot? Whatever, your words create thoughts, their meanings yet to appear!

[ReedWrite]

The facade I have carefully maintained losing all its coherency.

What a great line...and so true. You captured it perfectly. People tend to create masks...hide behind them...protecting themselves, until the masks become such an integral part of who we are, we don't really know ourselves anymore. I've written a couple poems along this line...so I instantly connected with this poem of yours. Nicely done!

[Lovecraft]

Thank you. The Japanese have a word for masking their true emotions and what they display in public and private. Tatamae. :)

[Michael X]

So full of insight and inner emotion, the essential knowledge of one's true self, good dam job! A real Gem of a poem!

[Lovecraft]

Thank you very much, Fellow Traveler.

Sincerely,
Dexter Morgan, The Bay Harbor Butcher. ;)

[Bala Gorthi]

The truth of most of us reflects in this write. I loved the way you ended it, after all these years of deception I have to wonder who am I. So many shows we put on everyday and never stop and think upon our deeds. Thanks for sharing this nicely crafted piece..
Bala..

[Lovecraft]

Thank you. We all have a visage for public and it is far different in private. Some of us, maybe many, are reluctant to reveal who we really are, even more so to those we love.

[Bala Gorthi]

I agree, Lovecraft..