Bloody Snow

You try to figure it out.

I gazed at wondrous snow, dazzling and powdery,

Surrounded by copses of pine and cedar, hands shaking,

Bitter thoughts and a deep chill pervading my bones,

While tree's stood whispering, covered in a white haze, snow.

I could see the rivers composed of blood, amidst the flurries

Of Winter and snow.

Yet there was red pooling 'neath my standing feet, dark,

I could not comprehend, to see through the blood river,

To truly find my way out of this crimson waste, wading,

Through the eddies and whirls contained within.

The blood gathered wider than before, circling me,

Trapping me with its barrier, rising higher and higher,

Slowly.

Soon I made to swim, but it would never let me go,

Soon I knew I would drown in a river of blood, gurgling

And choking on everything, my past loves, failures.

The blurring whiteness began to swallow me whole.

Author's Note

I'm finished revising this. So let me know if you can figure this poem out :P
Would appreciate reviews and feedback greatly.

Reviews

[apennylate]

Amazing... Takes me to an ethereal place of harsh biting cold, filled with frost demons and hopes frozen on a pike... Your lines remind me of blood magic, and the word choice, coupled with the easy breathed rhythm of rhyme, lends to a stark picture of a ritual gone bad... Whatever the meaning... It is penned with macabre precision...

[Lovecraft]

Heh, I enjoyed this review, lol.

Thanks. By the way, is "Noize" based on a Key and Peele Sketch?

[apennylate]

Well thank you, not as much as I enjoyed reading your work. No, I actually had to go look that up, lol... But I am an avid gamer, "Noizemare" was one of my main names back when I essentially lived in WoW... My main tag is "Dogmaizkool", read backwards it is "LookzIamGod"... Between the two, they are essentially my other names, hah... Even if I do not really game as much anymore...

[Lovecraft]

Hell, I still play the original Fallout game from 1998 and Baldur's Gate 2: Shadows of Amn.

[apennylate]

Oh hell yeah, that is amazing, lol... Great games... Gotta love gaming!

[Lovecraft]

Very much so. I also play the original Deus Ex with the Shifter mod.

[augustus]

I guess that's one way of describing approaching death! Doom and gloom in abundance!

[MoonChild]

A beautiful scene filled with tragedy- excellent read and a beautifully dark poem

[ReedWrite]

Captivating.
It pulls you in and holds you there...almost as desperate to escape as the writer...yet knowing it to be a hopeless cause. Nicely done.

[.]

A very visual piece of work.

Your poem is infused with a mixture of natural and horrific imagery that combine to give the piece a dreamlike quality.
It reads to me like standing on the precipice of life and death; surrounded by beauty yet struggling to hold on to life and sanity and gradually being sucked in to the void where only the regrets and failures of the past live to torment you forever. There are many possible interpretations for this poem.

While it is unorthodox in style, you do maintain the readers attention and leave them with something to think about and attempt to decipher. A nice write.

[Lovecraft]

Thanks. I'm fond of making rather unorthodox poems as they sometimes have the effect I desire better than more traditional ones. I do enjoy the various interpretations people seem to have for this poem. Very enjoyable to read those interpretations. :)

[TerryDarcy-Ryan akaSh..]

The imagery through this entire poem is incredible. One doesn't need the amazing picture to understand. I enjoy the flow of this. Your technique is different but it helps the Reader with stops and pauses for a better understanding. The overall message I get from this piece is your fight for life. Beautiful and violent is life. This is very entertaining. Thank you

Sheer Terror

[Lovecraft]

I wrote this mostly through improvisation. I just had the idea and started writing it, letting it take me wherever its crook led.

I also wrote it as having three different interpretations.

Thank you for the review.

[Nicole Laszlo]

I'm either gonna be spot on, or terribly off. But I'll say first that I love the imagery.

So, it's interesting how it starts off with "wondrous" describing snow. Something that's often used to resemble something being erased, or covered and made new. The corpses here are pine and cedar. I don't know much about trees, but I know that both of these last in winter. Cedar's even bloom then. Something lasting, something "eternal" has died. And the snow can't hide it. And the trees that watched, that died when winter came, whisper. Cause that's what the dead do, isn't it? Dead men do, indeed, tell tales. The mighty have fallen.
Memories, like blood, pour forth. The snow can't hide them. Nothing but death really can. We can't see past. And once we feel it, these memories, there's no real escaping. We all become consumed. And the white, that was once wondrous, finally covers.

To me this represented a massive change. An end of one life and the beginning of another. An ending that wasn't even wanted. I think when we hit those endings we get brief moments of clarity. Moments where we can look back and see all the other deaths we've endured. The white comes and the cycle repeats.

Or I'm just crazy. Either way, thank you for the thought provoking poetry!

[Lovecraft]

Wow, you saw the Copses/Corpses connection. Actually when I wrote this I had three or four elusive concepts in mind. But you pretty much nailed one of intentions of my poem.

I have to say when I read your comment I was very impressed. Despite the fact I intended several meanings for this piece, your interpretation is one of the closest I've read.

Thank you, Nicole! ;D

[Nicole Laszlo]

Well I'm glad! And yeah. Initially I thought it was a typo, not gonna lie. But it clicked. lol I'm glad to hear my rendition did a small bit of justice. You've got a deep mind, man.

[Lovecraft]

Thank you!

I've always thought of tree's in winter as being dead "Things". Like wandering in a forest during wintertime. I'ts dark yet beautiful.

[christina]

The only thing I'd say is that I think the word snow is used a bit repetitively, perhaps. Other than that, I like it for sure. To me it speaks of mental illness, but I could be completely wrong.

[Lovecraft]

The repetition of using snow and winter visuals was intended. Thanks, Christina. ;)

[Stacey Appleby]

Wow i really liked it. I think the snow comes across as you being intrigued by something or someone. However you can't move forward because you are trapped by something in your past trauma or heartbreak is my guess. ;)

[Lovecraft]

Very good interpretation, glad you liked it.

[Stacey Appleby]

Now i'm intrigued am i right or am i wrong?

[Lovecraft]

Both... ;)

[Stacey Appleby]

Lol the mystery continues. The poet who teases his readers haha.

[Nichole]

I love the imagery and very well written which u already know. Somehow it makes me think he's committing suicide.

[Lovecraft]

Lol, there are so many different interpretations people have on this poem. That was my intention though. ;)