Last Rites

A man tries to elude Death.

Death had come, but I wasn't ready for Him,

His cold gaze and his touch of chill, no warmth,

His face lacked sympathy amidst my fear and woe.

I ran the gauntlet, trying to evade capture, but

He always found me, breathless and terrified.

Death had entered my very mind, teasing mortality,

Unrelenting in his sole purpose of his reaping.

Too late, He has found me,

Cowering and unable to gaze on his true visage.

I cannot run anymore, I accept that,

So I willingly embrace the darkness,

Whatever may happen, 

So be it.

Author's Note

I just wrote this for the hell of it. I want to elongate it, though I'm not sure if I should. Let me know.

Reviews

[andrew mitchell]

i like the emotions here, i think the last lines are appropriate representing your surrender to something that's not in your control.

[Lovecraft]

Thanks, I replaced the last line I had previously with those last lines there now.

[lua]

this could definitely be elongated, you could take advantage of using all the senses and create some really powerful and viviv imagery of death

[Lovecraft]

Yes, I have to agree with you. I wrote most of it in less than six minutes, so I know I need to edit it at least a bit. Thank you.

[micky]

I'm loved everything bout this piece except the last line....it takes away from the dark tone of things and turns it into a cliche...otherwise awesome

[Lovecraft]

Damn, I knew that was stupid, I just didn't quite know how to end it in a proper manner. Thanks, I think I'll change that last line then.

[micky]

I see the edit I like it...I'm a fan dark poetry and everything to do with it...anytime you need a opinion I'm open to it

[Lovecraft]

Okay, thanks.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

"Death had entered my very mind, teasing mortality,
Unrelenting in his sole purpose of his reaping."
This casts a horrific picture of death.. Looming in the shadows ready to strike us at anytime.. If only we could elude death.. Good work!

[Lovecraft]

Thanks, I was unsure how this would be received.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hey don't underestimate yourself ever! You're good! Just keep at it ☺ and you are welcome ☺👍