Untitled Horror/Weird Fiction (Ongoing)

Untitled Horror Tale (Still in progress)

        Sometimes in life you see and experience something which was not meant to be seen by humanity, with its meager knowledge of the true Laws of the universe. Things exist in our world that do not conform to anything natural. I saw such a thing one week ago. It shook my sanity until it was no more than rubble. My mind was broken that night, as was any belief I had in the existence of God. I believe I know the reality of life now, that humanity is as nothing to these things, something they barely notice or care about, for we can ultimately do nothing to Them. I will tell my story because I know doom shall befall myself soon enough.
      On October the 17th, 2011, I, Charles Lind, witnessed a horror too terrible to ever fully explain, but I shall attempt to do just that. I was strolling through the darkened streets of a town I shall not name, though I will say it is located somewhere in New England. I was relishing the cool autumn weather and the stars above while I walked on sidewalks devoid of people. It was after 11:30pm. I enjoyed long walks like these at night, alone and with only my thoughts to keep me company. After an hour or two of just meandering aimlessly I came upon a strange, very ancient looking house. It was rather small, with an old-fashioned chimney and looked as if it were over 200 years old, Its masonry starting to crumble. The old latticed windows were partially broken, cool wind whistling its way through the home. Seeing the door ajar, I approached it. The venerable house seemed to call for me to enter, though I had certain misgivings about intruding into someone's home. But I cautiously pushed the door open, its hinges squeaking loudly so as to make me inwardly cringe. I slowly entered the threshold and peered around the decrepit place. Aged and yellowed wallpaper, peeling off.                          

           A very musty odor and dust swaying everywhere. Antique furniture strewn about, most of which had fallen apart long ago. Yellowing wallpaper peeling away as if retreating from the walls. First I entered what seemed like a study. There was a large redwood desk dominating the room, with several small bookshelves littered with paper and books. Laying open upon the desk was a burgundy tome with a sunburst in an oval embossed on the front cover. Must be some sort of occult tome, I thought. I peered at the pages, confused. No writing, only more symbols and crude drawings of disturbingly violent picturesqueness. A sudden chill ran down my spine.              A great baying as of many wolves howling occurred, startling me with how close it sounded. I dropped the tome, hearing the thud of its impact on the hardwood floor. I stood several moments motionless, too terrified to move. Then I ran out of the study and was astonished by what I saw or rather didn't see. The front door and windows had vanished completely. Panic and terror coursed through my veins as I ran to the back of the house. I stumbled and nearly fell in the kitchen. There were no exits here either. I ran to the back wall, pounding my fists against it like a man without hope, screaming and yelling for help as I did so.             

          "Greetings, sir." A raspy voice softly spoke from behind me. I whirled around and saw a figure wreathed in voluminous robes of dark red, face covered. I felt like I was swiftly becoming insane or that I was asleep in a vividly lucid nightmare. But I wasn't.

           "It is pleasing to see a fresh face. You would be a welcome addition, sir." He murmured. I had no reply for him. I just vacantly stared at him, finally catching a glimpse of his face. It was horrendous. His face seemed a skeletal parody of the living like some sort of eldritch Lich. I gasped in astonishment, thinking only of how I could flee this walking, talking cadaver. But I was too paralyzed by fear to really do anything about it.

          "Would you mind if I showed you to my library? I believe there would be much for you to learn about the world and its true nature." He politely asked, not waiting for a reply. He turned around, robe swirling hypnotically.

          He began slowly moving toward a room I hadn't noticed before, his limbs seemingly writhing while he shuffled about. Something about that Things movement greatly disturbed me, abstractly reminding me of a spider luring me into its web. I decided I had no other possible choice, so I followed the Lich with trepidation.

          "There is much you cannot possibly comprehend, sir." His voice seemingly echoing off the walls of the impossibly large library I walked into. Vast shelves lined  the chamber containing various books and scrolls of indeterminate age. What looked like old spattered specks of blood and other liquid stained the beautiful floor. He paced to a desk piled with stacks of paper, sifting through them.

          "Ah, here it is. Do not mind the dried blood, it is only mine. Alas, I can barely recall the day I signed this. But do not worry yourself, I can assure you it is quite painless and well worth it."

          I had no idea what he was talking about and his words chilled me to the bone, seeping ever deeper. What in God's name did he have planned for me? Was this dead entity going to murder me?

          "Um, what do you mean?" I stuttered in little more than a whisper, not wanting to anger him. His very presence filled me with extreme loathing and dread. He beckoned me toward him with a shriveled claw, a vague smile playing upon what were once lips. I felt a lull in my fear and I eagerly walked to him, confused. Motioning to the paper he had talked about, I picked it up and glanced at it. I saw that the majority of the text was in latin, although I couldn't really read it. Glyph's and symbols unknown to me were scrawled in blood that centered on a signature. Edgar Williams. I didn't know the name, but the symbols bothered me for some reason. They clouded my mind.

Author's Note

I have to add to it as I go since I keep having problems when writing on this site.

Reviews

[Takinom]

Very nice. The introduction is a very effective attention catcher, and, even though there is the cliché of "scary old house", the development was most enjoyable. I specially liked the way in which you described things and your use of metaphors, even though at times it feels like there are extra words that make the sentences hard to read and lose coherence.
The atmosphere was well portrayed, and the tone was easy to read.
Overall a most enjoyable work that only needs some polishing.

[Lovecraft]

Thanks. I know I have to remove some words, restructure some sentences and such. It's sort of a Lovecraftian Pastiche.

[The Mad Gentle Lady]

An interesting start. I might suggest looking at some of your phrasing, and removing a word here or there. Specifically six lines from the end, where you say "vividly lucid." My suggestion is to remove vivid from this, perhaps replace it with some descriptive word about how horrible it all is, or just remove one of the words, as they have a very similar meaning. There are several other spots with phrasing that doesn't quite make sense. Apart from that, this eldritch cultist in his voluminous red robes readily rouses my interest.

[Lovecraft]

Yeah, I thought the "vivid" was a bad addition. But I haven't really edited it yet. I want to add more detail to the inside of the house but I'm still thinking of what might be inside. Thanks for the input.