The Devourer

A meditation on the concept of time as an eternal but neutral foe of humanity.

           It devours when we least expect,

           following us and waiting to attack,

           It senses when we grow fragile,

           So when it comes you best be agile.

           It will care not whom it consumes,

           for it is Devourer and does not assume.

           It comes to everyone, grinning,

           for nobody can escape its winnowing,

           Just wait your turn, patient,

           Because it is most ancient.

           Soon you will experience oblivion,

           as deep and dark as obsidian.

          

Author's Note

This is one of the first poems I ever wrote. I am aware this poem is rather simply written and I think it is mediocre at best. Still I would greatly appreciate any feedback whether good or bad. :)

Reviews

[apennylate]

Mediocre at best, is right.. If we are talking about your personal estimation of this obliterating poetry... Sometimes simple lines can deliver the most delicious view of emotion... No wonder you are so gifted, this early writing of yours is great... The building blocks of greatness... Well penned...

[Lovecraft]

Thanks. I'm planning on reading/reviewing your work. I just had a busy couple days of work.

[apennylate]

You are welcome... I am not overly worried, heh... It is mostly just up to be another copy of my writing... Glad some people enjoy it... Do not fret not reviewing it...

[AshlynnStyx]

I actually like it. Its fluid and clean. Not to mention pretty despite its darker indications.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I wouldn't have guessed it was written in just 5 minutes! It certainly has a good theme and word choices are excellent as well!
Time, wretched time.. it leaves no one.. but I think it's an enemy only when we want it to be...
Btw, I've always found writing without thinking to be good and that's what I do :p Almost all of my work here is written on an average 15 minutes time lol
Anyways I truly liked the message here and seeing that this is your first poem, I can say that your work has grown...

[Lovecraft]

Thanks. Most of my poems I get a general idea then just write it quickly. I never plan it out, lol.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You're welcome! And good to know ☺👍

[Nicole Laszlo]

5 minutes, you say? After seven years? You prove that the ability to write good poetry isn't something that rusts.

Like some damn good wine.

[Lovecraft]

Wow, thanks. I just turned 28 and that is the first poem I've done since High School.

Thanks, Nicole! :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Very good poetry written in 5 minutes. Again. Good lead for a longer story. You create danger and mystery. I wanted to read and know more. Thank you Lovecraft for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Lovecraft]

Thanks. This was actually one of the first poems I had written in years, so I thought it was okay at best.

[Coyote Poetry]

You did well and you are welcome.

[Andy Leavy]

Nihilism was your goal and you sure achieved it. Lovecraft captured many fears you have captured the most human fear. The one thing we all fear. The fear of the end.

Well written but I have to agree with Mr.Q the rhymes were forced so was probably best to ditch the ABAB scheme. You did say it was written in 5 minutes so for that amount of time you did well.

[Mr. Q]

It has a powerful title and concept. I enjoyed it. I would just advise to not stick too closely to the ABAB rhyme scheme. The rhymes felt forced at times

[Lovecraft]

Yeah, I wrote it rather quickly and neglected to look it over and change anything. Thanks.