Vanity

I’ve read people succumb to their eating disorders
And I’m at that stage where I am exhausted
Where everything within me revolves around food and vanity
I starve or I binge
I gain or I lose
I lay or I do
It’s been 3 years
I lie about overcoming my own struggles
I never did truly found peace
I show off this array of positivity and mindfulness
The truth is that my mind was solely set on vanity
I am happy when I am thin and deprived
Though I was happy I was never satisfied
There was that loathsome look I gave my body
Even at my thinnest I saw every flaw
I still felt hideous
I never saw beauty
I am exhausted with my own way of life
I am sad and angry