Live free or die

A search for utopia clouds our sight
but I see misunderstanding.
Behold, initiative is what is,
utopia is what isn’t.
Of slaughtered meat, we got a discount,
not determination bleating.
Off the marked price be sure to get your discount,
abdicating the rule of brigands.

Before our request for understanding,
demanding of ourselves, arching
insteps, we progress, though hidden away.
Cash hazes, fluctuates, misspent.
Abdication of power, Paramount
reels us in.  We are not acting.
Each line a puzzle, a lack of scruples.
Abdication heeds our commands.

Bring us inspiration biosphere.  This
drought of stimulus, a blessing
in disguise; for a wellspring of memory
calms our frazzled hearts. Augment
abdication; cast tantamount
troubles away. We are clasping
suckers of an impending monsoon. Suck
in your breath for the gasping farmlands.

Our children must learn to put on their clothes.
Normally we wash our faces cleansing,
exfoliating, splashing cool water
across extremities, content
believers in hygiene. Joust and dismount.
Evergreen flags are raised, dazzling
their spectators; we’ve left the house to witness
evergreen forces disband.

Reviews

[Confuser]

Laura Lynn, you have created a great message here, jam packed with wonderful metaphores, I loved. Money, Money, Money? Is it dogma, do we live under the rule of others - always. Paramount
reels us in. We are not acting. Each line a puzzle, a lack of scruples. Abdication heeds our commands. A lack of scruples, now that got me thinking. It is as if the adage says: We are going to hell in a handbasket; it seems there is always something else. Some people are always discontented. I truly love the 3rd stanza - you just tell it like it is and that is great. That's powerful - that's taking the power back (if I'm making any sense). I hope you will allow me to re-read. Marketing, social media, freaking commercials: I hate them. And you are absolutely correct, they pull us in (like reeling better). We are clasping suckers of an impending monsoon: For the majority of people, you are absolutely correct! It is inspiration/thought provoking. Humm, it will stay with me. I so try not to follow! But you said it quite powerfully. Thank you. Poetry 101, Tag

[A Ghost of Myself]

The ever thriving search for utopia, a realm of non-existence, unless of course instilled in your own inner realm. Utopia is not a place or haven, but an inner sanctum, a place of contentment and appreciating what you have and who you are. In you’re final lines you speak of hygiene; I wonder if this is a masque of self being, not the literal sense, but the cleanliness of ones spirit/consciousness, can individuality stand in acceptance, rather than dancing for the eyes of others? I liked this. The one recommendation I would make is avoid starting the next verse in the previous lines, as it tripped me up a bit. It could be me, but dropping those initial words would seem to help fluidity and not cause the jarring pause. I hope this helps, and I look forward to reading more of your work.

[Laura Lynn]

starting the next verse in the previous lines,...ok, jarring pause, check,

[A Ghost of Myself]

Do you find my comments insulting? They’re not intended to be. There are two occurrences in this piece that caused me to hesitate . . . This
Drought of stimulus, a blessing

And then . . . suck
in your breath for the gasping farmlands.

The one word, then dropped down caused me to stutter.

I apologize if I come across as rude. I was trying to help.

[Laura Lynn]

Thanks, I do not find you insulating, I was taking in your words trying to let you know I heard had read what you said-wrote, I see the change I can make here, thanks

thank you for coming across as rude if you did, I don't mind rude but how could you be, I'm sure everyone is, there is much to speak of about that topic rudeness,