endeavor

...writing quickly...

Here in this room, I watch I wait for it's late;
The women belabor coupons, eat spiced rice;
I contemplate my past, I contemplate
modern convention and my wrecked car, nice
reminders of what it is to be poor without
a clear notion of what to do with life,
all this matter, all this love for take-out;
what is it to be a for better or worse wife?
We need not worry, and yet the world is full
of it, each worry looking like terry cloth;
three dogs are milling around, like a null
set, that zero crossed through.  The moon doth
shine.  Love takes on a grim feel at half past nine.
I'll walk past scattered trees; today my heart mine.

Reviews

[Workvio]

This is a lovely write, touching upon a busy life full of questions in an ever so busy hectic world ... I could share more thoughts, but it is very likely that my impressions are inaccurate, as generations of time separate your pen from mine ... Time does that to us all ...

[Rene Salinas]

As I read your writings Laura I get a feeling and I think it is my specialty to be wrong and way off the mark. But there is somethig very accpeting about the way you write. I say that becuase I don't acept anything, Ha! So it becomes more obvious to me. You seem to go through challenges in peace, maybe becuase there is no other way, never letting me know if ou feel resentment or you are angry sure worries who doesn't have them but you remain closely situated firmly in your own centre.
Even then you have time to be imbued by nature, there are days for me I don't even know if the sun came out as my curtains are shut and as I am doing ight shifts well is a little late by then to take the day in.

It continues to intrigue me.

Greatly enjoyed though.

Thankyou

[Hutch]

Wow...beautiful it draws you in seems so real. Thanks for writing, Hutch

[TheCreatore]

Holy s**t a sonnet! Lol I never see those xD This was beautiful... a few of the rhymes seem a bit forced, but overall this is creative and catchy--probably one of my favorite poems I've read thus far. Very nice;)

[paradysium]

Really enjoyed this. I like how you play with the verse (almost mock-Rossetti). Kind of reminds me of a poem called 'winter- my secret!'. I won't offer much in the way of criticism because it feels too light hearted and bashful .... suffice to say I think this a really nice attempt at something a little different.