Victory over weakness

First read the text. Because I tried to use a twist. Well now here is the twist it's about an alcoholic man who held the new bottle in his hand and broke it taking a small step to overcome his weaknes

After gulping two bottles of beer, he went into her room, tightened his grip around her neck and banged her on the wall blurting, ''you ruined me, you destroyed me, now it's my time to take the revenge now I'll ruin you'', laughing as he saw her breaking into thousands of pieces. Then he picked up those shards of beer's glass from the floor and threw them out of the room, feeling like he just won his battle.

Author's Note

I tried to remove all the grammar error but still if its grammatically wrong let me know. Negative positive both reviews are appreciated.

Reviews

[Tony Jordan]

This has problems communicating the message in it's current brevity (that's why your preamble seeks to iron out the misunderstandings, I feel). However a story doesn't have to be long to get the whole picture across. You intuitively feel it's wrong (but a truly unique write in my opinion).
You'll get it with some work and you'll be the better writer for the tussle.

[Black Rose]

Thank you Jordan for pointing out the mistakes. I will try next time to not be so ellaborative :) thank you! You liked my style.

[Tony Jordan]

Your stories have a good message.

[Black Rose]

Thank you :)

[Jerome Malenfant]

"After gulping two beer bottles"? He drank the bottles? I think you mean here: "After gulping two bottles of beer"

[Black Rose]

Thank you!