Journals Of My Alternate Mind

I don�t always have the will to write so faithfully about my feelings. As doing it hurts my big omnipotent Ego. Ego is the source of all problems, as it assures my mind's survival�destroying me.

I

Sorrows and Expectations

 

Facing the hopeful start of a new year, I reflect yet again bitterness in the eyes,

as well as with anger and disbelieve both lodged in my heart.

It’s been awhile since I've been in this state of mind I'm now being forced to revisit.

The past year was almost too good to be true,

sure I've had the inevitable setbacks life often throws at us, few relationships,

none of them turned out the way I would have liked,

but didn’t hurt me either, so it worked just fine.

It was particularly important for me to not have been hurt,

my self-esteem needed a break from being put down,

so for the first time I was in control, my broken spirit was untouchable,

my heart was safe because it chose to not bow down to practically anyone.

I dare to say, being deliberately cold and insensitive was the happiest feeling I've ever experienced.