Constant Night

Constant Night

A Poem by Kurai.Merodi
"

Just weird poem..

"
Behind this smile 
Is a crying child

Behind this act
Is a life that is cracked

Behind this tear 
Is a silent prayer

Slowly this child begins to drown
Feeling like they're in a ghost town

No one seems to hear their screams
But, they don't dare to dream

Thinking about life
As they raise the knife

Not knowing what else to do
As if they already knew

That this thing that you call a life
Is a constant night

© 2015 Kurai.Merodi


Author's Note

Kurai.Merodi
I tried to get it all rhyming, tell me what ya think

My Review

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Featured Review

I think you did great with the rhyming :)
True, to a person or more specifically a child who is living through hell it does feel like it's night all the time. When life is so dark it can be difficult to find the light. But that's only because in this type of life, you need to find the light yourself. A great write :)

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Kurai.Merodi

9 Years Ago

Thanks, you really get what i was going for in this. Glad ya liked it
Amber Lily

9 Years Ago

You're very welcome!



Reviews

I LOVE it! You def' have a natural talent! I'm intrigued for more x

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


I liked the line at the end. A good poem overall. Nice simple and short. I think you need to have a specific rhyming scheme if you are to rhyme your poems. I was about to point out a mistake but it has already been suggested by DormanDan. Keep writing.
Cheers!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'd say you've done very well with the rhyming on this poem, and the poem itself is written very well. Just remember to never try and force a rhyme, it probably won't benefit your song/poem. You really generated a dark atmosphere with this poem, and is a fine example of the kind of poetry I like to read a lot of the time, because this genre can usually have so much emotion in it. I saw one typo though, nothing major;

"Feeling like their in a ghost town" it should be "they're", not "their". Other than that, fantastic job! :)


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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430 Views
13 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 19, 2015
Last Updated on June 22, 2015
Tags: night, child, children, broken, crying, life, rhyming

Author

Kurai.Merodi
Kurai.Merodi

France



About
Love is simpy frabricated. But that doesn't stop us from belieaving in it. 私は地獄でお会いしましょう I would rather go.. more..

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