New Lands, New dreams...?

This is what I did as an assignment for my English Language class. It was to write about some sort of immigrant travelling.

The cold salt air burns your skin as you fly past the thousands of creatures down in the dark clear abyss. As you watch the surface to find even just a speck of life so you can confirm it’s not pointless. The hands reached up like he was scared, scared to let you go, scared that when he does, you’ll be gone. But just as he’s about to touch, to save you, he gets torn, dragged down back towards the opposite sky. All this happening while I was slumped, reaching towards him trying to save a drowning man I did not know. The man did not give up though he stretched his hand up to meet mine and I pushed against the side to get lower and lower until I could grasp his fingers. Suddenly my ribs where pushing in and my feet started flying in the salt sky. My eyes widened and the man got pulled down again like he has lost hope. I turned round and an average height, grey hair, blue eyed man was staring back at me I tried to read his face but gave up as he set me back down on my feet. He opened his mouth but a short haired blond woman shoved him out her way and started to check everything was in its place, basically she started to muddle cuddle me. She started to apologize to the man but kept glaring and shaking me with the odd glance to the side. I pushed her away and glided past them to the front of the ship dodging everything that came to my direction. 

I sat my legs to one side as I looked down again to the abyss. This time though, it looked like a magic spell was cast, splitting the dark adding some light around the ship, like everything dark that touched the ship turned white. But I knew it would only go back later on. I looked up and saw a great blob of grey in the vast sky. Hours passed with my eyes fixated on this now grand smudge of grey, greens, yellows and a great statue of turquoise now filling the once big sky. I tried to stare at the turquoise statue but I stated to feel butterflies swirling round in my stomach. The cold sea air now feels comfortable, on the side of warm now. We creep closer and closer on this iron boat filled with ant like people squirming round. My eyes starts to fill with water as the salt from the air gets in and tampers with my heart. I start to realise that we were going into the port, so I dragged an arm across my face and looked ahead towards, as my mum says, ‘The city of Dreams’. A bell rang in my ear to signal the ten minutes until we end this stomach turning journey. I rushed to the back to see if I could catch a glimpse at the world I left behind but only saw grey as the clouds hung low across the water. The warm sea air turned to an icy blast as I turned around that slowly came to a stop when we halted at the port. I heard my mum calling but my legs didn't move, I couldn't move, I didn't want to. I heard the shout get louder and louder so I forced my legs to move with my body weight. Before I left the back of this voyager I tuned just to make sure I couldn't see past the grey wall. I kept walking with my head over my shoulder waiting, hoping for something to be there. 

Nothing. Nothing at all. 

Just a large canvas of grey stretched out hiding all things. I started to travel to the front the great vessel as I got a swift blow of fresh salt air but a difference haunted me. A difference that is not so great that would make me sick but great enough so the creatures that once visited my stomach called again once more, this time in a flurry. It did not stop me though. I kept going, hoping this new world would not change me as much as it does others.

Author's Note

It was meant to just draw the reader in and only to write the first 800 words. Please put positive and negative feedback so I can improve and it will help my later works.

Reviews

[Vinni]

Love it! I want to hear more. It makes for a nice dream sequence or the beginning of a fantasy story. Either way, well written, very descriptive and original.

[Kurai.Merodi]

Thank you. I was going for more of an anticipating and scared atmosphere and less dialogue than what I normally do with more description, glad it paid off. Thank you for taking your time and reading it, I might elaborate or even make it into a full fledged story if I have the time. Thanks again.