The Tale of Toya and Dalton

December 2013 

Normally I didn't mind working graduation even if they were a little sad. I watched as my classmates, some of which had become dear friends, walked across the stage in the glorified black gowns decorated with sashes that indicated the accomplishments. I would feel a ping of dread but an overall proud feeling. However, not this time, this time was most definitely different. I stood by the door handing out announcements and smiling at the parents and faculty. I smiled at them and made pleasantries all the while I wanted to vomit. There was only a few moments left and he'd be gone. I felt my eyes start to water. It was my fault. I shouldn't have let myself get so attached. However, his clear blue eyes and perfect smile stole my heart the first time he glanced in my direction. I still remember the first time we'd spoken and how I could barely make eye contact with him. I was in awe the God had made someone as beautiful as him.

"Toya, did you hear me?" Josie waved her hand in my face and awakened me from my drab thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Did you want me to take over so you can step inside?" She asked as she reached for my announcements. Apparently it wasn't a question. I crept inside just as they were starting the processional. I loved this part. Everyone seemed so full of pride, hope and promise. I smiled as I watched Andrew throw both his hands in the air as he walked off the stage. God that boy was goofy. Time seemed to be flying by. There were only three more people before they got to him. I watched as he stood in line. He didn't seem nervous at all. The look in his eyes let me know that he'd kind of drifted into another world and wasn't fully cognitive of the situation.

"Dalton Edwards," They called his name and he stepped onto the stage he strolled toward the announcer with his normal confident swagger and then hit him with one of his award winning smiles. He peered out into the crowd after shaking everyone's hand and I swear for a split second our eyes locked. It was too much. I couldn't believe that he was just going to walk out of my life and not know. I left the auditorium and decided to see if I could help elsewhere.

After the graduation was over, some of the students were lingering around with their parents as I was cleaning up. Dalton and Andrew just happened to be two of the students who didn't know how to leave. I went up to Andrew and gave him a big hug. "Congrats, Drew, don't get too crazy tonight!" He squeezed me tighter. I liked the way it felt. It made me think that I mattered to him. Dalton was standing right across from him and his girlfriend Nikki was had her arms securely wrapped around his waist. I knew it would seem rude if I didn't say anything, but it hurt for me to even look in his direction. Every time I saw him with her. it reminded me of how badly I'd screwed up. He'd been single for months and I never took the opportunity to let him know.

"Hi, Toya," he said dryly and I glanced at him.

"Oh, Dalton, I didn't even know you were here," I retorted. I kicked myself for it. Why couldn't I just be nice?

"What was that? Congratulations … oh thank you, Toya, you're too kind," he narrowed his blue eyes at me, but gave me that look that confirmed that I was most definitely a straight female. I rolled my eyes.

"It's like way past time for you to leave, Dalt; I'm sure you have other places to be." I placed my hands on my hips all the while I'm screaming inside. Why do I keep pushing you away? I want you to stay!

"I don't have to take this!" He smirked at me before him and his crew left the Monroe Center.

Everything was cleaned up and I was finally got ready to leave when Dalton came barging through the double doors. He was wearing a frown which unlike him.

"Hey."

"Hey, have you seen my phone?"

"Actually, I think someone turned one in," I said. I was actually happy to be useful to him. I went and retrieve the phone from the box and handed it to him. This was it my very last opportunity to say something to let him know. He'd told me that he was going home with his parents tomorrow and then I would be left to deal with my regret for the rest of my life.

"Congratulations, Dalton. I really am happy for you," I forced out the words. It was so weird to actually be nice to him. Normally I was always picking and bothersome, but that was only because I didn't know any other way to relate.

"Thanks," he said dryly. Part of me wanted to stop there and end on a fairly decent note. He turned to walk away from me and I searched my brain for something to say.

"I'm sorry that I'm always … I mean, I … I really valued your friendship, Dalt, even though I didn't always act like I did." He turned to me and studied the expression on my face; his lips slowly rose into a smile.

"Toya, you never acted like you wanted me to bother you or be around you for that matter."

"I know … it's just the only way I knew how … to uh, umm … to relate to you." I fumbled because I didn't know what else to say.

"You always seemed to know how to relate with everybody else. What was it about me that made you feel as though you couldn't relate to me?" He stepped closer and I stepped back. "I've been nothing but cordial to you, haven't I?"

"Yeah, it's just … I" I felt defeated I couldn't find the words. I felt they'd forever be stuck in my throat and this moment would be etched in my mind as the worst punk out of my life. I turned my back to him and grabbed my purple peacoat. "Never mind, Dalt. You better go. You don't want to leave Nikki waiting," I said as I fumbled to put my coat on. I felt two hands behind me assisting me in my endeavor.

"Finish it Toya. What were you trying to say?" He rested his hands on my shoulders and my whole body froze. "I think I know what you were going to say."

"Then why make me say it? You want to embarrass me, don't you?" I mumbled.

"No, I just … I thought it might be nice to hear what you really feel about me for a change." He turned me around, so he could look in his eyes. God, his eyes were so perfect … he whole face for that matter looked like it had beenr craved from heaven.

"I have feelings … I care about you, Dalt," I said at a whimper and a whisper. I waited for him to reject me or to laugh, but what he did next would make this day the very best day of my life. He cradled my face in his hands and kissed me. It was slow, sweet, and passionate everything I thought a kiss from Dalton would feel like.

"See that wasn't so hard was it?" He breathed and then kissed my nose.

"No, it just took me a million years to say," I chuckled, and he kissed me again.