My Query Letter

I sent this to a literary agent already and am still waiting for a reply. I sent it on June 5th, and since then I have written up to 60,010 words, with only a chapter and half remaining to write.

Dear Editor,

    Misty and her sister Carrie, are average, high school girls not-so-new to Sylena Town. That is, until they meet a loon of a lady in a bookstore, raving about a prophecy and calling them…

   Witches? The fate in store for them is in my novel Catching Fire Stars. The story is 45,000 words, at the moment, consisting of 101 pages. My goal is a 150-200 page novel, with five other books to be written. What I believe to be an excellent start to The Night Skyseries. Catching Fire Stars is a fiction, fantasy adventure filled novel that will have you laughing, to crying, to cursing, to blessing. The story takes place in the times of today, well….mostly the times of today, with a range of characters such as: Witches, and demons, and vampires?! Oh my!

   Misty used to think the only evil thing in her and her sister’s world, were the Lanes. After being tackled by a gorgeous boy named Adrien, however; she was faced with even bigger problems. Apparently, Misty and her sister are witch princesses of different worlds and dimensions. Misty, the Princess of Fyra, with the power of lyte and fire; and Carrie, the Princess of Darkiris, with the power of shadows and darkness. On top of that, they are guardians of The Night Sky Secrets and the real evil they face, is a gorgeous demon, Ryik and his vampire brother, Tyris. But just what are these secrets? Can the girls really trust the fallen angel Adrien, and the half demon, half vampire, Damien? On the verge of a full scale Worlds War between Nightdwellers and Lytehealers; Misty and Carrie are shoved into an alternate reality…literally.

    Want to know where Misty came from? Me of course!  I’m the twenty year old real life version of Misty. Unfortunately, I lack the ability to make swooping fire butterflies and I have a pet ferret, not a giant white tiger named Edanya. I have been writing for as long as I can remember. I was chosen for the Young Author’s Conference all throughout Primary and Middle school. In 7^th grade my teacher sent in a book review I wrote on, Across the Wide and Lonesome Prairie, which was published in a Teacher’s Edition book to be used as a reference. I graduated from Pigeon Forge High School with honors in 2010. I also helped form the Creative Writing Club there, which is now known as Scribbler’s United. Other awards and achievements I’ve made all lie within the arts, from acting to drawing and dancing.

   Want to learn more? I have copied and pasted my first chapter in this e-mail as well. I anxiously await your reply.

Sincerely,

Emily White

Author's Note

Do you think this would catch a publisher's eye? Is it professional?

Reviews

[Joel Adenyn]

Well, we can't say too much about it. Post your first chapter on here so we can take a crack at it. :)

[Serenity Faith]

I actually have the first four chapters on here xD

[Joel Adenyn]

Ah I see. WELL, I'm new to this place and still haven't learned its.... how it works great. In fact I've been looking for books and stories to read, but all I'm finding are people's poems. Got nothing against poems, but come on people. Little variety.

[Joel Adenyn]

Anyway, I'll give those a read and let you know what I think. Might take a day or two. Feel free to check out mine. I've got the whole thing written, but only posting first 2 until I get some reactions from people on if they want more. :P

[Serenity Faith]

You're more than welcome to read my the chapters of my book I put it. Just click on my name and it'll bring up my page with all my works. On mine in particular I believe there's two pages. Find Catching Fire Stars on that list and it'll bring it up, then simply go from there. It is kind of confusing, I'm still kind of new myself. If you need help with anything don't hesitate to ask. I'll help if I'm able ^_~

[Joel Adenyn]

Will do. Thanks.

[Becky]

When you talk about how it will have you laughing, crying, etc, I would take out the "to"s.