Here I Am

This comes from the selfish thought of a teenager who wasn't allowed to be with her love.

Here I stand, another day,

               While another life, has gone away.

Here I cry, my tears of blood,

                 And wait as rain, begins to flood.

Here I live, in lost damnation,

                 Trying to find, my one salvation.

Here I am, how sad but true,

                 Surviving only, on thoughts of you.

Author's Note

So when I first put this up, I had it titled The Mind Of A Vampire. I was afraid, since I was new to the site at the time, that no one would be able to understand it the way it expressed my feelings. I thought it sounded like something maybe a vampire would think and so I had changed it. BUT, after two very insightful reviews which meant, to my happiness, that people did understand. I switched it to it's original self. Enjoy!

Reviews

[Nath]

Very lovely! I think with the original title, there would have been other possibilities to interpret this poem, having it refer to a vampire, well, I think it fits well. Those creatures condemned to eternal life sure lose a lot of loved ones in the course of their existence, but in a way, even we mortals are damned to see people we love suffer from sickness, torment themselves, die. We are as capable of feeling sorrow when we survive someone dear, so why not have the title say this poem refers to a vampire's pain, when it can be so much like anybody's? I think you captured the feeling well and in a way anyone can easily relate. Great write!

[Serenity Faith]

Thank you for the review. I think maybe I should change it back to it's original tittle then. I was worried at first, since this was one of the first poems I put up, if people would understand it, just as it is. So I tried to think of a title that would explain it better i guess. I originally wrote it, from my sadness of not being allowed to see or be with, my now husband. I felt so selfish at the same time, for being so sad, because i knew other people out their might have lost someone for good, and even though I had to wait a good two and half years, i knew I'd eventually be with him again. I truly appreciate the insight.

[Nath]

My pleasure, I wouldn't say changing the title is a necessity, it is about emotions after all, and though some fantasy authors seem to disagree, I believe tjose to be universal and the same for both "monsters" and men.
There is no need to justify feelings either, there's no helping having them either way. We feel what we feel, good and bad, and comparing pain to other's is useless. It's what we feel about what happens, not the event itself.
It's natural to be sad about loss, temporary or permanent, the moment's circumstance and how it makes us feel are the essential aspects.

[Serenity Faith]

Truer words have not been spoken.

[Becky]

Nice write, though I kind of like "Here I am..." better. Also I'd remove the commas in the middle of the lines. You don't have them in the first couplet, so it kind of messes with the rhythm. The picture is very... vampyric. :p