Where Do We Stand?

For my sister...

These tears aren’t shed for no one,

and they do not fall for anyone.

My tear stained shirt only holds half of the story,

there is no evidence of an agonizing journey.

The birth of new life is meant as a glorious feat,

but when it’s life or death, who chooses your seat?

Blood holds us stronger, holding onto life.

But when I can’t help you, who’s controlling the knife?

A minor error in our rivalry schemes,

but it’s not only me that’s untying these seams.

A smile to mask a haunting burden,

when tears are staining your pillows all too often.

A hand to carry your delicate form.

How do I help if I’m battling my own storm?

Self-centered behavior, we’re both so naïve.

You’re fighting to stay, while I’m eager to leave.

Author's Note

It's short, I know, but whatever. This poem is about my older sister.

Reviews

[Que]

This is absolutely wonderful. At first when I read it I thought that yes, it was a little scrambled with the thoughts, but as you said, after knowing what it is really about it makes perfect sense - and the lines of the poem are truly beautiful.
The line that hit me the most was:
"My tear stained shirt only holds half of the story". Such great imagery.
Really sorry about what your sister (and you) is going through. Hope everything works out for the best.
Cheers..

[~Xx Fallen Angel xX~]

I like how you came up with these lines that rhymed and still held the value of the poem. Yes it did seem a little irrelevant in places, but when I read your explanation it made more sense. Length doesn't matter in a poem, in the short amount of words you used you created a powerful and moving piece.

[Rhianne Ney]

This is a good and impressive write
Keep writing ;D

such a powerful write.

...i know what those panic attacks feel like. I get them at times.

such an emotional piece.

[RedInk524]

Finally i remembered to review this, lol. Im so forgetful sometimes...

This has a lot of power packed into a small package, like a grenade. An excellent example of how poems should be written regarding lines- EVERY line must hold meaning. No fillers or meaningless lines intended only to keep a flow straight. Knowing you, i can see the images depicted by evey couplet and i know how much they mean to you. I love every couplet and the personal strength of each. Its a feeling that a lot of the poems i come across lack. The last couplet especially catches my eye, i love it.
I always love a personal poem, and the fact that it was written by you makes me love it more. I wish your sister luck.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

when it's life or death who chooses your seat? What a wonderful line.

[Fairytale]

A beautifully written peom about a painful subject. The phrases come across as so delicate and beautiful. I liked your method of rhyming. It's not perfect rhyming, but still goes together. Actually, it adds a wonderful texture. Great work!

[Coyote Poetry]

"Blood holds us stronger, holding onto life.
But when I can’t help you, who’s controlling the knife?"
A powerful poem with hidden story and good emotion. Love for family make us want to protect and care for. I like the question create by your strong statement in the poem. I like the ending to the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Sleeping Maiden]

I loved it. Beautiful work. Well done with this piece. It's very interesting to read.

[Ian Faraway]

"Blood holds us stronger" doesn't really flow right with me for some reason. I kinda feel like the poem is all over the place with different ideas and images. I definitely like where it's heading though.