I'm Just An Actress

"We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin." - Andre Berthiaume

They're laughing.
They're happy.
They're smiling.
They're free.
They don't understand the

words i'm trying to convey.
I'm smiling.
I'm faking.
I'm dying.
I'm breaking.
I don't understand why

it is they cannot see.
Why even try?
I'm just going to cry.
They can't see my tears.
No one can see my fears.
I put on a colorful mask.
I play charades.
Inside I'm only black & white.
With no trace of my soul.
There is no rainbow.
All you see is rain.
My body too weak to dance.
Your contentment is killing me.
I want it so badly,
but all I see is gray.
There's no light shining inside of me.
I've become an actress.
Perhaps the best by far.
Yet, no one will ever know my genius.
All they see is my shell.
It's slowly fading.
I'm decaying.
Soon my life will become unbearable.
All their eyes will fall on me.
And I'm not the person they expected to see.