The Undiscovered

Read to discover the Undiscovered.

I came across these 4 words, I read it over and over again. It set shivers down my spine and made my finger tips all tingly. It said: "Run while you can". It was written in blood; it looked like it had been their for years.I started seeing trails of blood and this stuff on the wall, it was like dried blood and skin mixed. Then I saw a skeleton. One kept leading to another to another. I took out my flashlight. I started looking at each skeleton. Some still had flesh on it. I shined my flashlight on this skeleton that had most of his flesh on but no eyes. It screamed in a high pitch and it started peeling its self from the wall, and all the others screamed and did the same thing. I turned the other way and started running. Even though some had no legs; they were really fast. They kept screaming, I kept running. I slid in to this crack in the wall that I barley could fit myself in. They stopped screaming and stopped near me. They were talking to one another. One started smelling the air. It started coming towards me.

Author's Note

Tell me what you think and give me ideas what to write next.

Reviews

[Bohdyna]

I love anything horror and all those stuff, so I'm sure I'll love your story. You probably need to elaborate more. First of all, you have to know what you are writing and you should also have an idea of how it should end.
At this moment, I think you should continue by explaining where you're and why you're there, tell us more about who the protagonist is.
If you're going to make it a long story, I suggest you create a book and write in chapters.
You're doing great, continue!

[Rei Cn]

The building up of mystery was interesting enough to keep me reading 'till the end, but even for just an intro, this is a li'l bit anticlimactic. If you plan to make it into a longer story, you might want to make it detailed enough to establish a solid character, setting and plot, but discreet enough to keep the suspense. A few mistakes, but this could be a good start. Keep writing.

[S.Diane.L.]

I like the general idea of the story, but I think it is a bit jumbled and scarce on details.
Who is our character? What is the purpose of the character being at their location? What does the area look like?
There are some grammatical errors, spelling, incorrect use of words, etc - but I do think you have a good start and I hope you'll keep it up!

[BlackCheetah]

Ok thank you. I will keep writing

[BlackCheetah]

Please comment on my story. Thank you