Frozen in Time

Frozen in Time attempts to capture the feelings and thoughts surrounding the art of the romantic kiss. Wouldn't we all like to freeze the best kisses and savor them forever?

Frozen in Time

 

I kiss your lips in a

yearning kind of way.

Passionate red candles burn a scent of love

into the air.

 

Double, triple times my heart beats.

It skips a beat when my lips meet yours.

 

Your lips, moist as they

touch mine.

A kiss of passion, enthrallment.

Frozen forever, my heart stands still.

 

For however long we kiss,

a second, a minute, an hour,

a day, a week, a month,

or a year, my heart will hold its breath,

as will I to cherish the moment.

 

Author's Note

Looking for opinions about tone.

Reviews

[Life Calling!!!]

Beautiful! I love the way your work flows and how the emotions are revealed.......its really rare that you have the kind of kiss that you can cherish, that you want to prolong, that you wish will never end....such a kiss as you have described here.....wonderful piece of work!

As for the form...it flows well...but I think
"Double, triple times my heart beats.
It skips a beat when my lips meet yours." this was a bit jarring...its ok for free flow verse, but I doubt yours is free flow....maybe you could work on that.

This,
"For however long we kiss,
a second, a minute, an hour,a day, a week, a month,
or a year, my heart will hold its breath,
as will I to cherish the moment." was really really well done! I love the way it moves as well as the content in it. Awesome!

God Bless!

[ANNA]

I really like the tone a lot and wouldn't change it! We all have our idea of a kiss or how we want to be kissed. I would love it if I could freeze the perfect kiss in time and you wrote this well to where I for a moment in time frozen my fav kiss. lol Thanks much for sharing my friend!

much love n respect,
anna

[*~Poetic_Essence~*]

I love the last stanza...ecspecially the last two lines..the part about the heart holding it's breth is a powerful way to end the poem i loved it. I reminded me of the thoughs that I feel when I kiss my boyfriend. We've been toegther for 2 yrs now and i still linger when we kiss.

I mean we kiss for minutes at a time and when our lips prt i still sit there with my eyes closed and just try to capture the moment that we just had. lol its funny to me still but i cant help it. I like the tone and the flow of the poem, I think u captured a perfect kiss moment. and i think many can relate to this one. Great write I enjoyed the read.

Well From One Word-Play Poet To The Next...Always Remember To Write With Your Heart!

[Bells]

Thats so sweet! It seems light hearted.

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

oooooooooh, nice. makes me yearn for that type of kiss again. it's rare you can kiss someone and have that feeling you explain here. how romantic and well written. thanks for sharing.

[just is]

I think the tone sounds fine, written lovely as well, it just flows down the page.