Chapter 18

 

~POV Kathy~

 

The lake was so beautiful. It was just a few blocks away. I’m really going to do that more. Just sitting there. Staring in the peaceful and the untouched water. It was so quiet. I think I’m going to write a song about it. My mind is set on it. That will keep my thoughts away.

 

I open the door and enter the living room. I notice my aunt is cleaning up some stuff, but I don’t really care about that. Though I should be nicer to her.

 

‘’Hey lizzy.’’ Well that was nice enough, I turn around and run up the stairs.

 

I hear a muffled, but not so suprised, ‘’Hey kathy, I’m glad you’re back.’’

 

I don’t put to much attention into it and enter my room.

 

Woa, this really is a mess, with all this feathers laying around!

 

I really should clean this up, but I’m not really in the mood. I see someone brought my packed boxes upstairs. Next time maybe i should help. My dad would surely reprimand me.  That was broken rule number 3 : ‘’Don’t let anyone clean up YOUR mess ‘’

 

I shake my head. Next time I should pay more attention to that.

 

This time I ignore the boxes, and the mess. Usually I’m like someone with OCD for cleaning. This time, I’m just looking for one thing, my guitar.

 

After letting a few boxes fall off the stack, and messing through my stuff, i finally found it.

 

I take out my guitar. It is a brand new one. My parents gave it to me for my last birthday. To make up for the time they weren’t around. No, not thinking about that.

 

The guitar is beautiful purple, my favorite color. It is a brand, a famous one too. It’s like the harly davidson are under the motor cylces. It is a beautiful hand made Les Pauls. I am so happy they gave it to me.

 

Now let’s play. I close my eyes. Thinking about the untouched water.

 

The little waters

Untouched and so beautiful

I wish I could be

So beautiful

The way it reaches

Until the end

The waters wrinkle

When it needs

It adjust,

It is just so perfect

So perfect to me,

 

 

Like the way his hair waves in the air,

His grey eyes, focused and with joy

His name is andrew,

 

 

No, I put away my guitar. So far for thinking clearly.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A excellent chapter. I like the poem and the common sense rule. "Don't allow anyone to clean up your mess."
Coyote

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Nice chapter verymuch impressived..........

[halflives]

The only thing I have to point out is to captialize the names. kathy should have been Kathy, and lizzy should have been Lizzy. It's probably just a typo, but you have to be sure. :3 Music always helps me feel better. Though I do have to agree with Aurora Lynn, suddenly she's like a different person.

[amdc101]

wrinkel=wrinkle

This lake seems to be a place that will calm you down, help you think, put you in a better mood. She was so different afterward, and her aunt said she would go there when she was scared or something...don't remember exactly....Music also seems to be good for her.

[Aurora Lynn]

Whoah, suddenly she's not so mean and cold towards her aunt. Almost like she's a completely different person. I love how she was just trying to think clearly, but ended up thinking about Andrew.

[Luke Sampson]

2 great things in this chapter. 1 -the change of view! Amazing! It adds to the piece; gives it flavour so to speak. 2 - the opening paragraph, to where the aunt gives her reply are good and descriptive =]. I see that other readers also speak about grammatical errors, but that is a part of your technique that is easily remedied. What you could work on, is what I mentioned in the last chapter you asked me to review, make it sound less like a diary entry (unless that is what you want out of this piece) and give it some descriptive body, flesh it out, you don't have to give as much detail as JRR Tolkien but think of it ask the sauce to your already good spaghetti =] good writing =]

[TheElfPrincess]

An interesting chapter, some grammar mistakes. I like how you switch views, it gives different moods to the story.

[BrynnaW.]

Misspelled words! Message me if you want me to be specific on which words. Very well written otherwise. I hope you continue with this story it gives me a new interesting view on things. :) I don't exactly know how to explain it. Good job! I look forward to more! Keep on writing!