Unknown?

is it too much? or is it okay,... i didnt really watch the words, just the feeling i wanted to come across.. Which feeling do you receive the most?

Unknown?

 

The little twinkle at the midnight sky

The sun has fallen down

Every night faster, that’s no lie

The little twinkle is falling too

 

Hell I don’t know what to do

Standing under midnight sky

Without my twinkle

Without it even falling nearby

 

A little trust, a leap of faith

Still my twinkle fell out of my sight

The darkness swallows the earth

It devours my soul

 

I can’t stop it

It’s like a flame

It’s tune of time to put myself to bed

At dark times like that

 

The bed of night

The bed of sleep

The bed of death

That’s to be said

 

It’s timeless

You won’t feel

you will neither see a thing

Hear or touch isn’t of that time

A ghost to be that will be my newborn life

Scars on my skin are still there

But never felt so quiet and peacefull from within

 

Because there is nothing

Not even the smallest thing

That creates

There will be no more pain

Reviews

[∂αʌ<..]

i like the way you protrayed your love as a twinkling star...i think this could be easily my favourite!^^

[BrynnaW.]

I thought you meant the title was unknown but then I read it and understood. :) Very well written. Keep on writing!

[Daniel Thomas Andrew Da..]

Unknown, somehow, is exactly the perfect title for this poem. It is still unknown to me exactly what it is on about. But it is dramatic, exquisite, and nocturnally delightful. A very good effort - I enjoyed reading it a lot. Well Done. Daniel

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Very nice confusion and the conclution is confussed all

[prodicallife]

Woww very good writting beautifull flow..
Loved it....

Regards
PRODICAL

[Dewella~Vintella]

Gracefully enchanting. Beautiful write.

Dew~

[amdc101]

Well written. Nice job.

Thanks for joining Writers Unite!

[deeps]

Powerful well written write.

[Tasha]

I agree with hearts it does give me hope and it was very powerful. I like the title because you're trying to find out what is know.
♥ Ta'Shandra

[TheElfPrincess]

No it's not too much. I have poems of this length as well and this was very good. The last sentence was very powerful. It gave me hope.