Chapter 1

~Chapter 1~

Miss Sulivain, you’re the guardian and adoptive mother, I froze a little because of that last word, of Catherine Dolls now. I don’t even care to protest it’s Kathy now. I don’t care about anything at all. I hardly noticed the trial about my guardianship anyway, but she was the only far distant family left… The rest was gone. If even possible, I got colder then I already was just now.  Miss Sulivain was the only one but I didn’t really cared where I would go. It’s this or the orphanage, and in my mind, weird enough, it both seemed horrible to me. Though I didn’t speak only when asked, calmness and coldness kept me  from chitchatting. Most people looked at me, if I was crazy, but hey, we are all crazy on this planet. 2 months ago the green uniform crashed my world. Now I had no chance of returning back. miss Sulivain seriously I don’t even know her first name. She came to me after the verdict. ‘’Come honey we are going home’’ good thing I forgot how to laugh or I wouldn’t have found a way to stop laughing. the irony of it. I mean ''Really?''''

I walk out of the courthouse and see a big old van, I get in the front seat after I found out this was her car, and closed my eyes for a bumpy road.

You got to be kidding me. I think in myself after a few hours ride I’m standing in front of  a house or better said, a mansion, a Victorian mansion completely renewed.

If my face and feelings weren’t frozen I would be… I don’t actually know what I would be. I know I should have had a feeling at least, but It didn’t  seems to come to me at least, and no, that didn’t surprise me, I answer a question in my head.

I walk up the stairs and walk into the door. Not even noticing miss Sulivain. Yup!  Still Miss Sulivain to me. Another question in my head to keep me busy I think. I didn’t care to get my bags, actually later I will find out I forgot them, walk to the couch curl up and just start to think, lost somewhere in my head.

Reviews

[amdc101]

The rest was gone,= should be a ;.
cared= should be care
it= shouldn't be there. (7th line)
I think in myself after a few hours ride I’m standing for a house or better said,= I think it should be to myself? And in house, or in front of it instead of for?
Thoughts should be in italics, and speech should be in quotes. Also Miss should always be capitalized.

I am curious to know how these two are related, and if she will be a good guardian or not.

[Ruby Read]

This is a sad story, but it's very well written. I can understand why the character would have no feelings about anything, I would be that way too if I lost everyone I knew.

[BrynnaW.]

What a sad ending!! :( Still, a very good chapter. Thanks for sending me an RR. I really enjoyed reading this. I will read on as soon as I can!!!!! :) Keep on writing!

[halflives]

Good, though the first sentence should contain quotations, should it not? Otherwise, great!

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good chapter. You gave some history of the characters. I like the house. Old houses are cool. A lot to describe. A sad ending to a strong chapter.
Coyote

[TheElfPrincess]

A sad ending, yet well written. I really like it. Well done.