Favorite

Favorite

The favorite is the one you see,
see the one that isn''t me
The one i am is outside
Outside the circle which i stride

I wish i could be in,
In this inner circle of things
Favorite of the once you favour most
Love the most

Lost the most
Your hearth which you lost
To the once you envy
The only thing is to be a part

A part of the secrets, the joys
Even the pains
Because then you know
You count for something

For the joys you can smile along
The secrets that you share among
the pains that are hard to see
But sharing makes me one of them
Just to be

Author's Note

well just an honest opinion please!
I just made it up
and i didnt think bout it,
Clearly,
I was just thinking, feeling i guess
So just critize me if you must!

Reviews

[Jeremy Baker]

No criticism, stream of consciousness is as valid as any other kind of expression: who am I to judge? Feeling left out can be expressed in any number of ways as it is such an individual experience, with shared aspects of course. As long as this was true to your feelings at the time it stands on its own merits. For me, it was clear that you were purging some self doubt and inner doubt, perhaps to do with your sense of self-worth. Sharing it in this manner is a privilege for we who read it - for that I thank you!

[Daniel Thomas Andrew Da..]

It was allright. A good poem on how we think about ourselves and what we are and how we would like ourselves to be and what to appreciate. Good language, thoughtful, and definitely interesting. A good effort. Well done. Daniel

[Vinod Kumar U K]

Very nice job.......

[Rae]

I love "think out loud" poems!! They're always different and lets you kinda "see" the writer. Keep writing!!

[amdc101]

For the joys you can smile along
The secrets that you share among
the pains that are hard to see
But sharing makes me one of them
Just to be


Really love this part!! Great poem. :)

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

To me the thoughts make sense the sense of joy through sharing and unburdening etc, great piece :)

[Thea]

I love this so much, Black...So nice... :)))

[Luke Sampson]

The repetitive rhyme scheme really drums-out the rhythm of your thought pattern.

I like how you just opened your thoughts and turned them into words =]

[prodicallife]

Beautifull,
A poetry that itself demands so much that, the reader him/herself wants to read it again and again.

Regards
PRODICAL