Not Ready to Say Goodbye.

Yet another free verse poem. This is about my mother who has passed on and on the 5th of July will be one year since she has passed. I think (I hope) writing this will help me cope.

There you were just the other day,
laughing, smiling, and surprisingly
not doing what you love.
You were a better mom during
your last few days.

Everyone were saying
it was your time to go.
I did not want you to 
abandon me like you did.
I wanted you to stay.

I hate that you,
got addicted to so
many things.
I hate that you never forgave me
for being so resentful towards you.

I miss you. 
You never leave my mind.
I wish you were still here,
but not as you were, 

as who I wanted you to be.

My world stopped,
when I heard about you.
My tears would only stop
because I thought I would run out,
There will never be enough tears.

No matter how long
it has been since your death,
I will never accept that you are
gone.
I refuse to.

No matter how much
people tell me to let go of
my hatred towards
you, myself and others
I will not let go.

No matter how much
I cry when ever I
talk about you
there will never be
enough tears.

I will never forget.
I will never make your mistakes.
I will always cry for you.
I will never say goodbye.
I will never be ready to say goodbye.