My Birth By Sleep

I can't understand,

the green star charm,

held in my hand.

 

As bright as a star,

Death brought an end

but my fate will bend.

 

I need a hero,

an empty soul.

Someone who can help me,

fill my darkened hole.

 

I found my friends through sleep.

to me they'll meet

with my eyes full of blue.

 

There was another,                   

one just like a father.

Untill I found out

I was a just a bother.

He said I'm important,

some kind of key.

The other Master,

was now after me.

 

From our seperate journies,

My friends and I have met again.

But to what they say,

something dark is happening.

 

My darkest side,

my inner fear.

He rose in black and red

and now he is here.

 

I was the key,

thats what they wanted.

For the great white moon,

They want to run it.

 

One friend betrayed me,

while one stayed true.

Hope my next life is better,

so I can start anew.

 

A darkness was born,

in my slumber.

My heart was torn,

and ripped assunder.

 

Through my Sleep,

he gained Birth.

Now because of me,

his shadow will lurk.

 

But its not all bad.

I'll meet new people.

Just keep playing,

trhough the sequel.

 

 

 

                              Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Zoe Jay]

This is pretty good. I really like the title and the clever way you have intertwined computer games, dreams, and reality to explain pure escapism. It's also just eclectic / abstract enough to be interesting. For example "green star charm", "the other master" "great white moon" "the key" and "darkened hole" amongst others could be read several ways by the reader. It sounds like a computer game, like a challenge, and we could interpret it that way, but it also has quite strong sexual overtones. I take it as a commentary on how life and society sometimes require us to do things which may seem nonsensical, pointless, or threatening. It is also, of course, a poem about loneliness, escapism, and also about friendship. I like how you have used the computer-game throughout to comment on life: "Hope my next life is better, so I can start anew" is a good example of both levels of writing going on at once. I like this. "Through my sleep, he gained birth" is an excellent line and an interesting thought about dreams. To what extent are dreams real, and the real world false? Many intriguing concepts here.

I'm not sure about the rhyme scheme though, it feels a little forced sometimes and I think that can cheapen the content and ruin the feel.

[Calypso]

This was well written.

[Kaitlyn]

Really good :)