The Empty Signpost

It's a complicated situation as we learn each others signs
Tossing turning and twisting, hoping you can read my mind
Shy and uncertain as we glance at each other, with legs only half entwined
The desire to be held by you closely is the look you could see in my eyes

I'm not just after your body; I want to be close to you too
I wonder how intimate I should be, as 'friends' I don't know what to do
I can feel your resistance, you don't want to encourage me, but I still can't figure that out
Affection is not only sex - though I love that, its open arms I like best

I long for the comfort and ease that comes when uncertainty goes
But at the moment I'm learning your signals and my wanting yet fear now shows.
I want to be patient, I'm trying to relax - play it by ear - only time will tell
You seem to be protecting my feelings but this creates confusion and hurts me as well

I won't allow myself to love you; I won't think it or let it be true
But my desire to spend each waking hour with you is starting to show through
I think you can see if you give me affection I could easily fall pretty deep
But the distance you're keeping between us, is hard too and it makes me feel week.

Do I fight for you and show that I'm jealous, and want you all to myself
Or do I put on a smile and respect your decisions at the sake of my heart as it melts
What saddens me most is confusion, because you're right we may never be friends
My feelings have become more real with time, if this isn't meant to be I'm dreading the end.

I know you now and I love what I see, your confidence wit and personality
Your childishness yet maturity together, I couldn't tyre of that combination ever
Your excitement with life is inspiring, your smile is warm and inviting
Your depths are like caves never ending, I want you yet 'us' is still pending

This poem may never be read by you, unless I become brave and certain I won't scare you away
These are just thoughts that keep passing my eyes as I continue to plod through the day
If you're reading this now maybe you can see how hard I find the courting process to be
I hope you know I didn't expect to feel this way, but now I do I want these feelings to stay

My fear brings me back to our friendship, unlike any I've ever had before
I value our fun time together, and I think you will agree it makes us want more
But I'm scarred that you show me affection without realising you do or for fear of loss
Of a friendship that's become so special to us, but not one that you think can be based on love

I guess I'm unsure if you want me, is that fun, or torture who knows
If you don't want me you already know it will hurt me, so be brave and let your true feelings show
I'm a quick thinker, I know what I want and what I like, I appreciate that you may still need more time
Each day I know you a little better than before but I can't tell if your feelings match mine

Time is of the essence, each new day brings an opportunity to live
I hope your feeling are growing for me too, you've touched a nerve of mine and I have so much to give
I'm not after a response to my questions; I'm more relaxed than I've been in a while
Id just like to tell you my feelings, and you know me I just want to chill out and smile

At this point I feel like I'm persuading, penetrating a thought in your mind
But I would never try to influence your feelings so I will stop here and kiss you goodbye.

Tomorrows a new day!