Chapter One: Unlady Like

The arrow sliced through the air hitting a small rabbit who was munching on dead grass. I let out a triumph cry, before dropping the bow and running over to collect my catch.

It was a cold, wet morning in the small village of Bloom. Of course it was always cold and wet in Bloom, so I was used to it. So it didn't bother me that my feet were coated in thick mud, or that because I had trouble running in a dress, I slipped a couple of times, getting the pink fabric dirty. No lost there.

Reaching the rabbit, I touched it with my big toe to make sure it was really dead. Then I bent over and pulled the arrow out of the limp body. "It didn't know what hit him," I mumbled sadly, having a moment of silence for the dead animal.

Even though I knew, that in order to survive we must kill, it didn't make me any less guilty over killing an animal. In Bloom we were lucky to see fresh meat and live through the winter. Every year small babies and elderly people died, because of cold and starvation. Men were more worried about tending to the dying farms, trying to grow food rather than hunt, but if you asked me, even if they tried I doubt they would catch anything. And women were to o busy knitting and cooking, than to even think about picking up a bow or knife. Plus it that would be "very unlady like," if you asked my mother, which I never do, but a day doesn't go by when she doesn't remind me.

So our village was poor and slowly dying, because nobody would bother to do anything about it. But we were better off than some of our neighboring towns. I heard from a couple of nomads, that some villages had to grow food for the Lord and hardly had enough to feed their own families. Maybe in a way we are lucky a little. At least we don't have to give any of our food to Lord Eldridge.

Picking up the rabbit, I frowned at how light it was. I doubt it would make much of a meal, because it hardly had any meat to its bones. I carried it back to my dropped bow and arrows and stuffed it in a brown sack where a thrush already laid. It may not seem like much, but today was a good day for me. On most days I caught nothing, because of the fact I was terrible with a bow and arrow. This might be because my mother hated me do anything a man might do, so I didn't get much practice. So I was very surprise today when I caught to animals, and only missed a pine marten.

My mother was a very different person then me. For one she didn't think a lady should have anything to do with hunting or working. A lady should stay at home, cook, sew and take care of the children. She shouldn't speak out of turn and be there for her husband, but of course she had no problem speaking her mind to me. Actually I think it pleased her to criticize me. Sometimes, every once in a blue moon, she would break and snap at my father, but like I said it didn?t happen often and when it did it was often about me. Everything my mother thought was right, I was against.

I hated the idea of wearing dress, but because of my mother I wore them anyways against my own free will. I hated how I couldn't move quickly in them, and I was constantly tripping on the hem and falling on my face. Also unlike my mother I spoke my mind. To me, I shouldn't have to wait to be spoken to, to speak. And to my mother's dismay I loved to hunt and fight, and I couldn't boil water if my life depended on it.

Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on my mother, though. She did give up a lot for me, almost losing her life in the process. My mother went through nine births to try and get a daughter.

First came a set of twins Clark and Cedric, who are currently twenty six, married and have children of their own. Next there was William, who like our older brothers moved out and got married. Then there was Byron who left town and we hardly have any idea what happened to him. After my mother had another set of twins, Griffin and Felix who found twin ladies and got married together, but neither had any children. A little while after my mother gave birth to Thomas, who was now planning to move out and marry his long time girlfriend, Annabelle. Finally she had Jasper, the shy eighteen year old boy who couldn't speak to a female to save his life.

My mother became depressed after having eight children and not one girl. Two years after having Jasper, she found out she was pregnant with me. The unplanned miracle baby or that is what she thought at first. She almost died trying to have me, but fought through it, and gave birth to her first and last baby girl: Gwendolyn Charlotte Sawyer. In other words, me.

But I wasn't the sweet little girl that she wanted. Instead of playing dress up and with dolls, I played stick sword fights with my bothers, and fallowed my father around like a second shadow. My mother tried her hardest to turn me into a lady, but it just wasn't who I was so I got in fights a lot. I think she hates me now, because of everything, but I am not going to change who I am just to please her.

I was so lost in my thoughts; I didn't notice that my feet carried me to my house. It was a small cabin, made of sticks, mud and other unknown substances. A tiny shed lay in the back, next to a long strip of fields with disgraceful growing plants. We were miles away from other people of Bloom, so we didn't see much of other people.

The door opened silently, when I pushed it and hopefully I could get back to my room without waking--

"Gwendolyn Charlotte Sawyer!"

-- Anyone up. Oh this was just perfect. I turned stiffly around to see my mother, in her lavender night gown and disapproving frown, standing next to my father who tried to look angry but failed miserably. I offered him a small smile and shrug, which he returned with bright eyes.

"Where have you been, young lady? Do you have any idea how worried your father and I have been about you? What were thinking, sneaking out early morning without telling anyone where you were? We thought you were kidnap. We thought you were dead. Have you seen your dress? And, my goodness, your feet!" My mother's voice went on and on as I tried and zone her off. This happened on a daily basic. So I was pretty good at ignoring her. "So what do you have to say for yourself?"

"I got dinner," I said as sweet as I could, tossing the brown sack on the floor in front of her feet. She gasped, and my father smiled trying to hold back a laugh.

"How dare you! I thought I raised you better then... then this!" My father held her arm trying to stop her from speaking anymore, but my mother was on a roll and nothing could stop her at the moment. "Disrespecting your father and myself! Not fallowing the rules! Acting like some barbarian! I don't know who you are Gwendolyn--"

"It's Gwen!" I snapped back, cutting her off. Usually I could ignore her insults, but today she crossed the line, and I was mad.

"That is not what I named you, you sacrilegious child!" She shirked. I knew she hate any form of a nickname, because ladies didn't have nicknames, but my father and all my brothers called me Gwen, and I loved the name. It didn't matter to me if it was unlady like. "Hugh, handle your daughter!"

My father looked taken aback from the place behind my mother, as his green eyes looked at me pleading. "Susannah maybe you shouldn't..." He said softly, advancing at my mother, who batted away his helping hand.

"I shouldn't? I shouldn't?" My mother asked, swinging around to face him. My mother was bad, but I had never seen her, this worked up before. It was actually rather scary. "This girl is ungracious, offensive, disrespectful, and horrid and you want me to stop?!" She let out a breath and looked around wide eyed. She gasped, seeming just to realize how far she went and turned around to me. "Gwendolyn..."

I hardly heard her, because I was already out the door; Running from her and the hurtful words, trying to hold back the tears. My mother and I never got along, but I never knew she hated me this much. I heard my father call desperately, but the words were lost in the wind, as I disappeared out of their sight.
 

Author's Note

Chapter One of my story. The story itself is going to get much more into the fantasy area.

EDIT: 5/3/10

Reviews

[Sam Severn]

Scarletta I love, love, love the world you are creating! The main character Gwen is beautifully drawn. ("My mother went through nine births trying to try and get a daughter"...FABULOUS!) This is an expertly written and set-up chapter! N' the ending hooks me into wanting MORE, MORE, MORE!
You are a very gifted young writer! Keep this cool stuff COMING!
㋡
P.S. I am in love with the Chapter title, too!

[Dark Angel]

Damn, sounds like me and my mom... I actually got annoyed... lol Good chapter except it could've been a little longer. Just as I was getting into it, it ended.

[Jeweliet]

Like a few people have said, there are errors in grammar, but otherwise it's very engaging :) i like it.

[Francez]

This story is really well-written. You develop your characters very well, even each of Gwen's brothers got distinct description. Some lines where you describe them sounds weird, though:

"A little while after my mother gave birth to Thomas, who was planning to move out and marry his long time girlfriend, Annabelle. Finally she had Jasper, the shy eighteen year old boy who couldn't speak to a female to save his life."

It almost looked like Thomas planned to move directly after he was born, and that Gwen's mother gave birth to an 18-year-old Jasper.

Another thing I noticed is the inconsistency between your early description of Gwen's mother about a woman shouldn't speak out of turn nor speak her own mind, with the fact that Gwen's mother did speak her own mind and even spoke against her husband when she was mad at Gwen.

You also have some minor typo's, like writing fallow instead of follow.

Apart from that, this is an amazing story, and the fact that you're only 14 years old make it even more stunning. Great job!

[The Water Queen]

I love this chapter. I love the start and the world you are starting to create. Great job I can not wait for more

[Mitch*Dandy]

This is a great start! Cannot wait to read more

[Naomi]

This is great! I love it, thank you for the read request. I like how this girl isn't afraid to be different!
Naomi

[Anthony]

Great write so far, but you need to work on your grammar more.

[chaotic katie]

i love it its awesome keep writing your great at it