No one was around...

i was a bit upset so i wrote this...

M y eyes went dark around me,

my feet flew off the ground,

i felt like i was falling,

but no one was around.

 

My breath got colder and sharper,

my head was starting to pound,

my voice was practically screaming,

but no one was around.

 

My lips were dry and swollen,

i couldnt hear a sound,

i felt my sanity slipping,

 but no one was around.

 

I knew it was my time now,

the darkness had come round,

all this could have been stopped,

if only some one was around...

Author's Note

sorry about spelling. xx

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

My lips were dry and swollen,

i couldnt hear a sound,

i felt my sanity slipping,

but no one was around.



I knew it was my time now,

the darkness had come round,

all this could have been stopped,

if only some one was around...

A nice and honest piece, the anxious feeling there will be really nobody left just you... You describe this perfect... Thank you, I guess it's a natural human fear. But there is a way to control it, however just now I felt in it... well done

E.L.

[Marie Harrison]

Love your poem!

[ecept]

This is really good, really enjoyed the feelings in this that came across.

[Violeta]

I agree when Kenneth S. says, "absolutely stunning." I can think of no other words... A stunning portrayal of your emotion, and I feel privileged to have been shown this part of you. Keep writing, you've got wonderful potential :)

[Kenneth The Poet]

Stunning, just a stunning piece of work.

[Miles]

I can't express in words how much I f*****g loved this piece.

[Silent Knight]

Very nice. I like the rhyming and the emotion