Daisy (Chapter 4)

Chapter 4

“Little sister,” Jose called to her and she rolled her eyes. She actually expected her husband to show up not his brother. Though why would she want to talk to him? Jose and Nicolas told each other everything.

            “If Nick sent you to plead his case, don’t,” she warned.

            “No, Princess he has no idea I’m here,” Jose replied. He came up on the porch and sat down and patted the chair next to him for her.

            Reluctantly she sat down because she knew he wouldn’t go away unless she did. Wildflower hated fighting with her husband but it happened, a lot. Since she needed a little space from him she was at her brother and sister-in-law’s house. The girls were inside with Auntie Christina and cousin Ariela. It hadn’t been that long that she had the girls but she felt like they were with her forever. When she heard someone pull up she’d come to the door to see if it was her emotionally unavailable husband. After their fight yesterday she didn’t speak to him again. Even though they slept in the same bed, a bed where no love was being made.

            Lately he was a lot different and she hated it. Once upon a time he was so loving and always around and now he wasn’t. She was tired of speculating as to why and really sick of trying to talk to him about his distance. It broke her heart when the girls asked if he loved them and if he wanted them there. At first she just thought it was crazy but then she started to think. Did he really change his mind about wanting a family? It was too late for that, but it seemed like it could be true. If he didn’t want their girls then she didn’t want him anymore.

That simple, so what if she was with him before she ever met them. So what if she only ever loved one man in her life. So what if she had to be a single parent, her family survived with no parents. And if she divorced him she had the power to take everything for him. She’d always thought that she would never do that. Right about now she was capable of anything. Weren’t most mothers when someone hurt her children? Carmen her sister-in-law who was her husband’s sister had a divorce lawyer on stand-by. But then again she already knew her family was dysfunctional on an epic level. Marriage to her was meant to be forever, so she wanted to try to fix it. He just didn’t seem to want that. If he didn’t want to fight then what was the point? They hadn’t yet been married a year and this was probably the worst year of her life.

“What do you want Jose? Or should I ask what did he tell you?” She asked she was emotionally drained.

“Oh he didn’t say anything I was listening to your talk yesterday. We’re family I feel obligated to help you and tell you some things. See Carmy-pie is always the first to want to call a lawyer. That is why she never stays married. You aren’t Carmen, thank God,” Jose said.

“Jose, your brother doesn’t want this life we have. Maybe I should listen to Carmen and meet with a lawyer. My girls are hurt enough and I can’t let this get any worse. And I can’t keep using the excuse that it would kill Allie for us to not be together. I love her but I cannot stay with someone that doesn’t want to be with me,” she told him. It hurt so much to say it aloud and she didn’t want to talk to him.

“Nicky loves you and wants nothing more than to make you happy. But considering he’s the family genius he’s stupid. When it comes to people he’s a little inexperienced. He loves you and your kids; he’s just been working on something. The thing that scares him most in the world is losing you and your daughters,” Jose told her. For once he looked serious; of course he did this was serious.

“That isn’t the way he’s acting, it’s more like he’s torturing everybody. I know he’s your brother and you want to help him but maybe he should be here not you,” she replied.

“Yes he probably should but he’s probably at home brooding and plotting. You know how he is and I’m sure he’s feeling all guilty. But let’s get real Princess; this life is crazy and unnatural to normal sane people. There is a reason we have a reputation and why people fear Nicky. Which of course you know because he’s told you some things. What happened yesterday had nothing to do with him. Even though you chose to marry him knowing what you know, he’s tried to change. For the most part he has but you shouldn’t have married him, he doesn’t need to change. We can’t afford for him to do so, people need to fear him,” he sighed.

“Maybe you didn’t realize exactly what you got into or how far we go. Recently he’s been doing what you made him promise you. But no matter how much he loves you and wants to protect you, let him out of the promise. We both know that you will never be docile or submissive; it’s against your nature. This may all be completely crazy but that’s life and life doesn’t always go the way you want. So you’re going to have to choose if you can live with this, if not it sucks. Nicky was picked for this job and he didn’t ask for it but he couldn’t turn it down. Being the chosen one is a big deal, notice the hate and all. He has 52% of the company so that he can never be contested.”

“I just can’t let my girls be in danger, not after I lost my baby. That’s not something you get over. And I almost lost Allie too. What’s best for them should always come first.”

“You know how he’s been working so much lately? Staying late at work and all that?”

“Jose, considering the year of rocky marriage I have had you should elaborate quickly.”

“He’s been trying to solve your fertility issues,” he explained. “Pretty much it’s become his obsession and it’s to the point where he doesn’t actually work. I do whatever needs to be done so he can focus on that. Nobody else knows, but people are starting to ask questions. Personally I know he’s not really going soft, it’s you that is the reason for it. This family is more brutal than you know; they would kill him for control. If that happened then you would be the one in control of everything. Successors are carefully picked; you are too good of a person for this. Nicky was born for this; you were born to spread love. If it came down to you they wouldn’t hesitate to take you out. Then who would be next after you? Your kids and while Allie can be just as ruthless and determined as Nicky, she lacks the mental capacity.”

At first she didn’t speak because she didn’t know what to say. The more she learned the more confused she was. If her husband was really working on a fix for their problem, why wouldn’t he tell her? She knew he said he would figure out a way for them to have children. After the accident where she lost her baby complications left her broken. They said it would be nearly impossible just for her to get pregnant. Nicolas saw “impossible” as a challenged and said he would find a way. Until now she tried not to think about it. But she’d wondered if it was maybe a reason for his distance. He wanted children of his own and maybe he wanted a wife that could give him that.

“Why wouldn’t he tell me that? If that’s really what he’s doing why wouldn’t he just say so? Instead he is pulling apart our family,” she said. The sad way he looked at her surprised her, Jose was normally joking all the time.

“Because he doesn’t want to disappoint you,” he replied. There was no hesitation, the answer came easy. So that meant it was true.

How was she supposed to react to this? Maybe she could see how Nicolas would be afraid to tell her. For a few months she was mentally and emotionally checked out of life. Losing her baby nearly killed her and Allie as well. She’d only been three months away from having him. His nursery was still there, the nursery Nicolas and Allie made. As a birthday gift her whole family got together to finish the nursery for her. Now Nicolas didn’t let her go into nursery because of a few times she went in there and cried. What pulled her out of her dark period was trying to help Allie out of an even darker time. Then it was adopting Amber and Tabitha, she needed a purpose and they needed a mother. And she’d already known them awhile and loved them, before the adoption.

Part of her thought that maybe Nicolas hadn’t wanted to adopt. When she talked to him about it he seemed like it was what he wanted. Once he met the girls he told her he wanted to adopt them. At first everything was great. It was the end of May when the girls moved in. After Tony’s graduation in June they all went to stay at her Malibu beach house. Half the summer was spent there and the other half at her Brazilian villa. It was a good summer, everybody was happy and had fun. And the girls felt welcomed into their new family. Then came September and the start of her husband’s odd behavior. Amber was still in preschool and Tabitha just started kindergarten. Nicolas was the one that wanted them to go to some overpriced school.

“I hate him,” she whispered and Jose smiled.

“That’s the spirit Princess, put him in his place. There is no reason you should let him make you feel like this. He needs to learn, so go spank him,” Jose said amused.

“Guess I should talk to him,” she sighed. Christina chose that moment to come outside.

“Why don’t you go home and talk to your husband? I love you but I really think you should. The girls don’t want to stop playing,” Christina said

“Perfect,” Jose said smiling encouragingly.

“Fine,” Wildflower said. Hopefully she didn’t regret this, though she had no idea how to process all of this anyway. Nicolas was going to talk to her even if she had to torture him. Right now she felt like shooting him and he made her remember the code to his gun safe.

 

 

            Allie debated on if she should meddle in her parents’ business. They fought last night and weren’t speaking to each other, again. Even if they were fighting they were still her ideal parents. She was 18 and didn’t really need to be up under mommy and daddy but she’d had parents less than a year. When she’d asked her mother what was wrong she wouldn’t tell her. Usually she would tell her whatever it was but not this time. It took 18 years but she had the best parents and two little sisters, she had to keep it that way. There was no other option, she would do anything. So if mommy wasn’t talking she could get daddy to. Not that she had much time.

            Today at school her friend Abby decided they were taking a road trip. Allie’s boyfriend/fiancé was away at college and they were going to visit. It would take 6 hours to drive up there so they could make his football game. The last time she saw him was when their family took a trip for his first game. She missed him and so she said yes when Abby suggested it. And what did her mother say when she called to ask if it was ok to go? Told her it was fine and that she wouldn’t see her before she left. Why? Because after school she was taking the girls to play with their favorite cousin Ariela. That just meant she was avoiding home, so Allie had to do this. While her cousin/best friend Sammie was packing some clothes for the night.

            Now or never, so she knocked on the door to her father’s office. She didn’t expect him to yank the door open, so she jumped. He looked like he hadn’t slept and it smelled like he was smoking. Interesting, she did that when she was stressed. Obviously he had been hoping it was his wife. At least he didn’t look disappointed that it was only her. Instead he pulled her into a hug. She always needed hugs from him. Of course he was concerned that this latest fight was going to mess with her current sanity. It had been a few months since her last breakdown. And she was proud of herself for not freaking out when Tony left her approximately six weeks ago.

            “What are you fighting about?” She asked him getting to the point.

            “She’s afraid of something happening to you and the girls because of me,” he said.

            “Oh, were you doing something bad?”

            “Not really, I was just forced into a situation that looked really bad. Stupid s**t those people we’re supposed to be related to had to do. Don’t worry your pretty little head with any of this, I’m working on it.”

            “Are you? Because the girls know something is wrong,” she told him. “They asked me if the reason you’re staying at work so much is because of them. Well Tabby said that she’s too grown for a 5 year old. I don’t want you to feel bad but is this the end?”

            “No, and she mentioned last night that they were concerned. I’ve just had a lot going on,” he replied.

            “Is it more important than our family?” She asked and he had an odd look in his eyes.

            “It’s about our family,” he whispered. “Promise me you won’t tell her anything?”

            “Um ok,” she nodded and she was very concerned.

            “I can’t tell her what I’ve been doing because I can’t afford to disappoint her,” he sighed. “What I’ve been working on is a way to solve our fertility issues.”

            “Why don’t you tell her that? She would understand.”

            “I will, but I keep thinking about how she was when they said she can’t have babies. Or when I told her about the baby,” he said. There was a distant look in his eyes. “Anyway, while trying to do something good I’ve screwed up everything, again. She’s terrified of losing anybody else and I know she still blames me.”

            Allie thought a moment, she needed to process this. She could understand why her mother felt the way she did. After the “accident” and the baby and everything Allie was checked out. She was after all driving the car when it happened. For a long time she had to be heavily drugged to be able to make it through the days. That was in the past and she was more or less better now. Her parents having had to deal with losing their son and dealing with her and  as a family they were all still recovering. And she couldn’t stand to let everything fall apart, not again.

            “Ok, I know what you need,” she said when an idea occurred to her. “Ever since the girls moved in you haven’t had alone time and you need it badly. Me and Sam are leaving soon to go see Tony. Don’t worry I already asked and I’m not driving Abby is and she’s sober. Anyway the guys were going to be gone all weekend anyway. I’m sure Tammy would like to go stay with her boyfriend for a few days and Angel can stay at your hotel room. The girls can stay with Christina and you can be alone with your wife. Tammy can take the puppies too. Don’t argue, I’m taking charge of your lack of love life.”

            “Who is the parent and who is the child?” He asked laughing, but she was texting to really make sure this happened.

            “I waited my whole life to have parents and a family and I would do anything to keep us together,” she said. “Tell her the truth and trust that she will understand and appreciate your efforts. Nicolas Capriani never backs down from a challenge, are you starting now?”

            “You are way too much like me,” he replied. “I’ll listen to you Allie, I promise. Go ahead and visit your boyfriend just don’t come back married.”

            “Don’t worry Daddy, you will get to spend lots of money giving me a wedding,” she said. She hugged him and kissed his cheek. Everything was going to be ok, she knew it.

 

Nicolas was sitting in his office thinking. He made a mess of his relationship with his wife. And he made his girls feel unloved and unwanted. What was wrong with him? Allie had to be the one to lecture him, which was sad. Sometimes he could lose himself in whatever he was doing. In the past he never had a family at home to care. Now he did, so this wasn’t acceptable. It was just that he was haunted by things that happened following the accident. Being the one to tell his wife about losing their baby had been painful. Watching her fall apart had been painful. Watching Allie be pumped full of drugs daily was painful. Those were things he caused. His actions caused them to get hurt and for him to lose his son. That was what he had to live with.

The day he came home and his wife mentioned adoption; he hadn’t thought she was serious at first. Tara, his friend’s wife, had come over to “talk” to Wildflower. Previously she had been volunteering a few times a week at an orphanage. That was where she met Amber and Tabitha. When she stopped coming they drew her pictures and wrote her little letters, it was adorable really. Tara brought over all their little work and it was pretty much done from there. Wildflower didn’t want to adopt them before because they were going to have a baby. In her mind it was the wrong time because she wanted to be able to devote herself to them. Since there was no longer a baby, there was a possibility. But he knew her and she felt guilty, like she was replacing their son.

When he first met the girls he fell in love with them, how could he not? They were smart and sweet and they reminded him of Wildflower. So since she wanted them he made it happen. It was so easy to love them and he liked being a father. In a year he’d gone from being a lone to being a husband and father of three. That was an adjustment, he didn’t regret having this family, he loved them. Once he didn’t think he was capable of love, and then he met his wife. They had almost be married a year and it was the most turbulent year of his life. Now here he was making a mess of everything again.

But he couldn’t stop thinking about how Wildflower looked and how she cried when they said she couldn’t have children. If anybody in the world deserved children it was her. So he was going to find away to make the impossible possible. Somewhere along the way he became a little obsessed and lost sight of everything else. He didn’t want his daughters thinking that he didn’t love them. He didn’t want his wife thinking he didn’t want to have a family. He didn’t want Allie to panic thinking they were getting a divorce. Allie waited forever to have a real family, so he couldn’t do that to her. When it came to her he had enough guilt, he should have rescued her from his sister a long time ago.

Nobody was in the house and it was silent like it rarely was. It had been a long time since he had been alone in this house. The house he inherited when he was 16 and the house was a part of his family’s legacy. He left his office to go to the kitchen; he needed to call his wife. What was there to say? His life was carefully planned out and with anybody besides her he could talk his way out of trouble. That was what he got from wanting a challenge and a woman that could take care of herself. If she divorced him then she could have all his money and his house and everything. But she wouldn’t take it no matter how mad he made her. She hated that he took care of everything, she was way too independent.

“Nicolas,” someone called and he froze. No, she couldn’t be here. Yet there she appeared in the doorway, looking pissed.

“Hey, didn’t think I’d be seeing you anytime soon,” he said.

“Is that what you want? Cause I can move out and you can have your big house to yourself,” she replied.

“Why would I want my family to move out?” He asked and she glared at him.

“Are you still a part of this family? Doesn’t seem like it to me,” she said.

“I love you, I’ve just been busy. Before I met you I use to work all the time there was no such thing as a day off. But I don’t want to fight with you, I messed up yeah I know. You think I like having my daughters think I don’t love them? Or you thinking I don’t love you? I’m not going to do anything that can hurt our family,” he told her.

“Sometimes I seriously hate you,” she said surprising him.

“I’m trying to apologize and you say you hate me?” He asked staring into her eyes trying to read her. “Did you talk to Allie?”

“Oh so now you confide in Allie but you can’t ever talk to me? Wow, no I didn’t talk to her, your brother came to talk to me. For some silly reason Jose thought it would be nice of him to try to keep us together. We’ve been married almost a year and honestly it’s been the worst year of my life. Sometimes I wish I never met you,” she told him.

Silence stretched on between them, he just stared at her. It had been a very bad and difficult year. Remembering their wedding upset her and things seemed to go downhill from there. When he first saw her and decided she was the one he was thinking in terms of forever. But he could never have anticipated the things that would happen. He always got what he wanted. He wanted her and she was his, he wanted a family so he got her pregnant. Him getting what he wanted when it came to her seemed to end in disastrous consequences. So he was wondering if maybe he really should let her go to spare her any more pain.

The trouble was that he was selfish; it was a Capriani family trait. She stood there watching him patiently; she was more patient than he was. What he really wanted to do was grab her and strip her and make love to her. But she was pissed and it was justified. Aside from his current obsession the only thing he was ever obsessed with was her. It had surprised him at first but there were worse addictions. That was definitely what she was an addiction. How could he fix this? If only he could go back in time then there were a lot of things he would fix about their relationship. Things he did and caused, if only.

“Jose told you what I’ve been working on?” He asked and she nodded, he should have known. His brother had been encouraging him to tell her anyway. “I only told Allie before she left; she said I should tell you too. Previously when I weighed my options I thought it best not to disappoint you or hurt you. But obviously I’m pretty great at sucking as a husband and failing you constantly. I’m sorry but I just couldn’t bear to give you false hope.”

“It’s you that believes in all of this, Nick I’ve kind of accepted it. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be but you can’t keep doing this. If you keep trying to fix this in your obsessive manner it won’t matter. You can have children with someone else, you don’t need me. We’ve grown apart and I’m afraid that we won’t be able to fix that. Then what? Do I just leave and take the kids and you see them on the weekend? When I pictured being married that wasn’t what I saw, well none of this really is,” she said. There was a sad defeated sort of look in her eyes, he hated that. What if she was right?

“Think this is what I pictured? My wife spends more time resenting me than loving me. We can’t even talk about our wedding and it has been a very bad year, I know. But maybe we need a fresh start, you know? Forget as much of the bad as we can and move forward? And if we do this just know that I’m not going to give up, I can’t.”

“Before I answer that tell me exactly why you couldn’t just tell me what you were doing? What did you think would happen?”

“Honestly, it was everything that happened after we lost the baby. There was the look on your face when I told you, the look when the doctors said what they did and just in general how you were. I couldn’t stand to disappoint you, but I will find away, ok? If you still want to then we can work on it,” he said.

“I hate you,” she said but her eyes said something different. So he took the opportunity to go to her and kiss her. “Why is it so quiet in this house?”

“Because we are alone,” he replied. “I love you so much, don’t ever doubt that.”

“I love you too,” she said. There were tears in her eyes, he wasn’t sure why but she hugged him tight. Like she was afraid to let go, if he was honest so was he.

“Allie text everybody telling them not to come home so we could be alone,” he told her.

“Really? We haven’t been alone in so long,” she replied.

“So what do you want first my beautiful wife? Dinner or make up sex?” He asked half joking and half serious.

“First we need to talk about the girls,” she said.

“Don’t worry I will talk to them,” he said. “Know what? I think I will take you out for dinner. We never do that anymore, would you like to go on a date with me?”

“I would love to,” she said smiling.

“Good, Christina has already agreed to keep the girls overnight and Allie and Sammie are on the road. It’s just us, we need to do this more often.”

“Yes, we should,” she nodded.

The crisis was averted and everything was good again. Sometimes even he couldn’t believe his luck, but he wouldn’t take any more chances. At some point he wouldn’t be able to talk himself out of things. Tonight he would focus on his wife and tomorrow he would fix things with his little ones. Now all he had to do was to not screw up again. Nicolas wasn’t one to hope he believed in creating his own destiny and fate. Just this once he was going to hope and say a silent prayer.

 

 

Daisy knew keeping secrets was wrong, but she learned the hard way. Pretty much she always learned the hard way. But how could she have known one secret would destroy her whole life? When she met Nolan a man almost twice her age she couldn’t have ever guessed the things that would happen. She had been 17 and easily impressed and in search of real love. And he was 30 twice divorced and a doctor. He knew all the right things to say and promised to help her escape her family. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her family, she did, but she wanted her own life. So she let him draw her into some great fantasy. The fantasy and illusions of her secret relationship lasted a little less than a year.

First he became so demanding and would pick at everything she said or did. Then came verbal abuse and physical abused followed. So she ended things with him and was determined to stay away. She wanted to tell her sister so badly and came close to it. At the time she’d had a pretend boyfriend who she was helping to hide the fact that he was gay. Before she could tell anybody the truth the car accident happened. She remembered being in the car but nothing else. All she knew was that her family believed that she was dead. So they would never come to find her, they couldn’t possibly know. And she somehow no longer had the bond she shared with Wildflower and Ivan as triplets.

Nolan had a cabin in the wood somewhere, for a long time she wasn’t sure where they were. All she really knew was that nobody was around and she had no hope. For the first two years he beat her down as best he could until she was perfectly obedient and submissive. Everything he said was law and she would regret any rebellion. In the third year he forced her to marry him and then got her pregnant. Being that she was technically dead she wasn’t legally married to him. That didn’t matter; he found her a new identity. They stayed in the cabin until their daughter was 2 years old. That was when they moved and he trusted Daisy. It wasn’t like there was much she could do.

Daisy was a good obedient wife and mother and did everything she was told always. So he began going on business trips and she didn’t try to run away. She made friends with other mothers and her daughter started preschool. Everything was deceptively perfect. But Daisy had been planning her escape. Little by little she got things ready and it took awhile. All she had to do was get back to Texas and find her family and she would be safe. So Nolan left for a trip and she acted.

What she’d been thinking over the years was that she should have appreciated her family. They loved her unconditionally and she’d been selfish. She was resentful and sometimes mean and she wasn’t a good person. But she’d had a lot of time to think. And she missed them every single second of every single day. Thinking of getting home to her family was what kept her going. Cassidy, her little angel, she needed to be safe. Cassidy needed to know real love and have a real family. Everything in their lives was a lie and Nolan’s sick fantasy land. This had to work; she only had one shot at this.

 

 

Allie was so happy they managed to make the game so she got to see Tony play. She wanted to see him so bad and could barely contain herself from going to find him. Once upon a time she would never be so giddy to see a guy. Then again back then she rarely had sex with guys more than twice. Everything was different now and she loved him. In her crazy complicated unconventional family she ended up falling for someone who was technically family. His sister was now her mother who married her uncle who was now her father. So technically Tony was her uncle-in-law, if you didn’t know them it was weird. But she’d known him before her parents got together so it wasn’t that weird. The weirdest part was that they lived together.

            She sort of ditched her friends to see him. They would catch up and Abby was probably picking out her next victim. When she got to the hall where the locker room was, she saw him. All day she’d been picturing seeing him for real. Since he was busy today she didn’t talk to him or text him. Danika said that maybe she shouldn’t text him or call him so he’d really be surprised. Seeing him wasn’t how she imagined it would be. For one thing he was there in the hall leaning against the wall talking to some girl. This was Tony he was all goodness and love and loyalty, she could trust him. But the girl was very obviously looking at him all sweet and tempting. Instead of jumping to any conclusions she continued on towards him. He looked up and saw her and looked like he got caught doing something wrong. The tramp trying to steal her boyfriend looked up too.

            “Allie, what are you doing here?” He asked and he didn’t sound happy to see her.

            “Um I wanted to surprise you,” she shrugged. She was determined not to have a meltdown; she was in control of her life again. Or well for once and she wasn’t going to lose it, not again.

            “Is that your girlfriend?” The tramp asked, she had the nerve to still look interested in him. Deep breaths, Allie had to take deep breathes.

            “Uh yeah,” Tony said looking very uncomfortable. “Taylor this is Allie, Allie Taylor.”

            “Nice to meet you,” Taylor the tramp she holding out her hand.

            “Yeah,” Allie smiled and took her hand. She seriously felt like throwing up.

            “Well I’ll let you two catch up,” Taylor said smiling. Then she waved and walked off looking triumphant.

            “Sorry I came, I thought you would want to see me but ok,” Allie said. She was not going to react to this.

            “Allie, I’m just surprised that’s all. Did you drive here by yourself?” He asked and she rolled her eyes.

            “No Abby and Bianca drove and I was not alone obviously with them Danika and Sam. I’m not as irresponsible as you think I am,” she replied.

            “I didn’t mean it like that,” he said. He took a step towards her and took her hand. And he kissed her finger with the ring he gave on it. The engagement ring. “Are you mad cause I was talking to a girl? She’s a friend; I’m allowed to have friends, right? Do you trust me?”

            “I’ve always trusted you but I don’t trust these chicks up here. You’re alone here, maybe you get lonely,” she whispered.

            “That would be when I would call you,” he said lifting her chin. “I love you.”

            “I love you too,” she said. She let him pull her into his arms and kiss her. Still she felt like something was wrong, very wrong.