Chapter 3: Confession

Chapter 3: Confession

Landon was so happy to be alone with Luxx and to see her smile. Last night she had nightmares and refused to talk about it. So he took her on a picnic to get her mind off of everything. She looked so beautiful with her hair hanging down and flowers in it. The dress she wore was turquoise and it fit her body very well, you could see every curve. When he woke up she’d already been up and dressed and was out dancing with Charlie after they did yoga and had a “light” breakfast. Before he liked Charlie and now he wanted to lock him in a closet. Since he was working he got to have Luxx to himself to photograph and to sketch. Drawing her was amazing.

“I’m thinking that when we get back home we could go on a real date,” Landon said. Normally he didn’t talk while he worked but he had a lot to talk to her about.

“The last time I was on a date was…” she trailed off and looked away.

“We’ve all been avoiding this Luxx but at some point you have to talk about what happened,” he said. The look she gave him chilled him to his bones, bad idea.

“What happened? Do you really want the details? I’ll paint you the picture of what he did to me. Let’s see he was violent towards me when we were together, at first he was nice. Everyone starts off as nice, I became one of those girls that lies and hides bruises. Then when I break up with him he stalked me and kidnapped me. To make it all so much better he tied me up, stabbed me and decided to set his house on fire. If it wasn’t for my brother I would be dead. Would you like more details?” Luxx was angry and hurt and it showed, there were tears streaming from her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Slowly he got up to go to her and wrap his arms around her. “Why didn’t you tell me Luxx? Or Lacey or anybody, I would have done anything for you.”

Vaguely they all knew what happened, but she refused to ever talk about it. That guy was lucky that Landon couldn’t get to him because he would have killed him. After it all went down and Luxx got out of the hospital, she shut down. It took weeks for her to leave her house. Charlie came back from his “studying” abroad and he attached himself to her worse than ever before. He also blamed all of them because they were supposed to be her friends. Luxx was very good at keeping secrets, everybody suspected something was off but it was never clear what. Landon tried so hard to get her to talk and she wouldn’t. If he had then he could have protected her.

“I was ashamed,” she replied. “Gigi was the one that found out and told Rueben and he threatened to tell my parents. What made me tell him was that Gigi was crying pleading with me. How could I tell you or Lacey? Or Charlie or Claudia or anybody else?”

“I’m sorry to make you talk about this but you know I love you,” he said.

“I know, I love you too Landon it was just a bad time for me,” she said.

When he said he loved her it wasn’t in the romantic sense. One day he wanted it to be and hopefully that would be soon. But she was like his family, he knew her since she was 3. So yes he loved her, she had been like another little sister. Now things were different, but it didn’t change how he felt about her. He would do anything for her just like he would for Lacey. Part of him wished she loved him in that other way. In time it would happen, first she needed to let go of what happened. And he wanted to help her do that, so she could fully get her life back. Right now over a year later, she could never be alone.

“Luxx, I promise no matter what happens with us I will always be here for you.”

“Kiss me Landon, I want to think about us,” she told him.

How could he argue with that? He kissed her and it turned to them making out a little. She climbed on top of him and when he slipped his hand under her dress he found that she was bare. Since she was so easily accessible he touched her and she bit his lip. The little vixen road his hand and the friction it caused on him had him moaning with her. Oh how desperate he was to get inside of her. First he took care of her pleasure, which came and he loved how she looked. She leaned back down to kiss him while she was undoing his jeans. Right here in the woods he was going to have her.

“I didn’t know you were so wild,” he said.

“This is a dream because normally I’m not,” she replied.

“You gonna be on top this time?” He asked and she smiled and nodded.

Before he could get inside her someone gasped. No need to look he knew who it was, knew the sounds she made. What he didn’t expect was to see was Charlie with Lacey. Or maybe he should have, since he was with Luxx. This was unbelievably awkward; at least Luxx’s dress covered his stiffer lower parts. Wasn’t this what he wanted to avoid? Everybody knowing meant they would be in his business. Why couldn’t he just enjoy Luxx in private? Well maybe in the middle of the woods wasn’t very private but he was annoyed none the less.

“Landon you are so disgusting I knew you would do this,” Lacey said. Her shock quickly turned to anger. “Sometimes I really can’t stand you.” Then she turned and headed back the way she came. After shaking his head Charlie followed her.

“Guess we don’t have to tell her now,” Landon said.

“This was such a mistake,” Luxx whispered. She started to get up but he pulled her back down and sat up.

“Are you seriously going to do this to me? We were fine a minute ago and I told you how I felt about you. Just because Lacey sees us together we are just done?” He asked her and she was avoiding eye contact. “You could at least look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want us to be together.” Still she wouldn’t look she he grabbed her face to make her look at him. Maybe it really was all a mistake.

“Lacey is like a sister to me,” she replied.

“Fine, go be her friend and I’ll go back home and leave you alone. It can be like nothing ever f*****g happened. So you and Lace can be BFFs and your gay lover can be happy,” he said. He was angry and he couldn’t hide it, this wasn’t right.

“I love you Landon and I always have and you mean so much to me but I’m scared. You want the truth that’s the truth. Obviously I don’t trust men very well anymore but I could always trust you. Say this doesn’t work out then I would lose you as a friend and I don’t want that. Can you understand how I feel?” She asked and he couldn’t be angry with her when she said that.

“Yes, I understand but I can’t stop feeling the way I do about you just because my little sister isn’t happy. What about your happiness Luxx? Should you hide how you feel because somebody else doesn’t like it?”

“No, I know you aren’t like him but I just need to know you won’t hurt me. Landon you have a different girl every other day, I can’t handle just hooking up with you.”

“Stop worrying about that, I want only you and not for that like I told you before. You matter to me and yeah I do stupid things but not to you, never to you. Do you believe me?”

“I want to,” she whispered.

“Then I will prove it to you,” he promised and kissed her.

“Ok,” she nodded and leaned her head on him. For a moment they sat together with him holding her. No he didn’t want to hurt her; he wanted to make her happy.

After awhile they went back to the house, he had to face his sister. He found her alone in the room she was sharing with Porter. The house was pretty much empty everybody was down at the lake. Luxx went to their room to give him privacy with his sister. Of course Charlie had been waiting for her. Really he was starting to seriously dislike that guy. It made no sense for him to be so in love with her when he was openly gay. Landon had never met a gay guy in love with his female best friend. At least he knew Luxx didn’t share those feelings.

“I knew you would go after her, it’s what you do,” Lacey said. She was on the balcony refusing to turn and look at him.

“It’s not what you think it is,” he said and she did turn.

“Landon all you do is screw around with girls you trick into modeling for you. This time it’s different any other time I don’t care. Luxx has been my friend since I was 3 years old. She was like a sister to you until oh I don’t know you decided to have sex with her. And that out there wasn’t the first time was it?” She asked, she was pissed and he deserved her anger.

“No it wasn’t but it’s only been since before we left. I know I do have a bad track record but I care about Luxx. This won’t be like those other times,” he said. Wow, it sounded more pathetic out loud than in his head.

“Different? Yeah it’s different because she’s my friend and she’s trying to recover from what happened to her. I’m actually surprised she would even let you touch her after what he did. She doesn’t need this; you’re going to get bored and then what? What happens to my friendship when you decide that you are done playing with her? And when you parade around your next conquest?”

“I’m not going to hurt her or kidnap and torture her and try to kill her. We talked and it won’t be like before.”

“She told you what happen?” Lacey asked and her expression made him think there was something Luxx left out.

“Yeah,” he replied and she looked away. Oh yeah there was something she left out.

“No, she didn’t because you wouldn’t have had sex with her if she did,” she said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked now he was pretty concerned.

“Ask her it’s not my place,” she sighed. “Don’t do this to her, leave her alone. Maybe your intentions aren’t bad but be honest with yourself. When you are passionate about what you’re doing then you want whoever you want but its temporary. You’re going to find your next inspiration and forget her. Only this time you can’t really forget her or just never see her again. Landon you are going to hurt her and you are denial about that but maybe you need to face the truth.”

Landon was silent a moment, he needed to think. Was she right about him? Probably, but this was different. In the past he didn’t really treat girls right, they were all temporary. If it didn’t work out with Luxx it did mess things up. Their families were very close, like close where they vacationed together. When Rueben found out Landon touched his little sister he was definitely going to kill him. Thinking things through and in long terms wasn’t really Landon’s thing. He did not want to hurt Luxx but he couldn’t make himself stop wanting her. Did it really matter anyway? Rueben would kill him and then he could never hurt her if he was dead. It wasn’t being overdramatic either; nobody really ever intimidated him other than Rueben.

Then there was whatever Luxx didn’t tell him. What could that even be? What would be a reason he wouldn’t want to have sex with her? Slowly something dawned on him; he hoped he was wrong though. Could she have some STD and not tell him about it? Luxx wasn’t like that but what else could it be? Every time he was with her he did use protection, if Lacey hadn’t interrupted he wouldn’t have today. It was just that he didn’t expect to do anything like that out in the open in the woods. Oh and he’d only licked her vagina, perfect. Maybe he deserved that for the things he did. Now he was a little pissed at her.

What was he supposed to do? If he just left and told her it was just over, she would get hurt. If he tried to have a relationship with her, she could get hurt. If either thing happened he would need to get new friends because they hung out with the same people. No matter what he did it would turn out bad. Before he made a decision he needed her to tell him whatever she left out. And he still had to tell her that he would be showing his painting of her. The more he thought about it the more trapped he felt. Lacey was right he really couldn’t be trusted to stick around. What the hell was he supposed to do?

“I’m sorry Lace,” he said and turned to leave the room.

 

 

Claudia nearly had a heart attack when she opened the front door. Someone was knocking and she had been doing a little computer work. Everybody said she couldn’t ever loosen up or not do some kind of work. That was very very very true and she didn’t care. But she did not expect to see Ali at the door. He smiled at her, he had a great smile. It had been weeks since she’d seen him and days since she spoke with him. Sometimes it was a little weird, they were technically engaged but they lived completely separate lives. And he dated a lot, she didn’t and wasn’t jealous at all. She did tell him she was going away with her friends but he hadn’t really seemed to care.

“Good afternoon,” he said and she stared a moment.

“Ali, what are you doing here?” She really could think of any other response.

“You sent me a message asking for me to come here,” he said looking confused.

“Oh, I didn’t think she really sent you a text,” she said. It was more to herself than to him. He actually came here to see her, there were no words.

“Your friends were playing a joke?” He asked and he looked a little hurt, which was weird. Him being here was weird.

“No, it wasn’t a joke we were talking and she asked about you. And she told me she was sending you a message and I didn’t really believe her or that you would come. When I told you I was going away with my friends you didn’t seem to care.”

“Well I didn’t know what to say really, you know what people do on spring break.”

“Are you serious? Do you not know me at all?”

“Aashna, you told me you were staying in a house with men. What was I supposed to think? One of them could be your boyfriend, so no I wasn’t interested,” he said. Everybody called her Claudia, because it was her middle name. Her real name was Aashna but Claudia was a lot easier to say.

“Ali I do not have a boyfriend, these are just my friends. And I’m not some skanky w***e, like what did you expect? Do you think we have orgies or something?” She was a little annoyed, he was acting jealous. That was something very different; he never acted that way before in their lifetime engagement.

“I’m sorry, I did not mean to imply anything. I should never have come here, I will leave now,” he said turning way.

“No, Ali you will talk to me, I never ask anything of you so you will talk to me,” she commanded. She came outside onto the porch and closed the door. “Tell me why you came here, it was not because you thought I requested it. “

“I have not seen you recently so I thought it would be an opportunity for us to spend time together. And maybe I saw it as a chance to see if you were dating someone,” he admitted.

“Why would you care if I was dating someone? It was your idea to see other people until we get married. Or am I mistaken?” She asked this just kept getting weirder.

“Yes I said that but you were eager to go along with it so it was done. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and I wonder what would happen if you found somebody. Like somebody you might fall in love with,” he said.

“Shouldn’t I be the one to worry? You are the man and nobody cares if you screw around before getting married. If I were to do that it’s a crime. And you are often out with other women, I don’t really date. It would never really go anywhere so I don’t see a point and I have more important things to worry about. No worry Ali, your wife will be pure for you,” she told him. She was a little annoyed, why did he have the right to question her?

All of her life she knew she would marry Ali; it was just the way her family was. Her parents and his parents were very good friends. When they were born a few years apart and ironically on the same day it was a sign. So their parents decided that they would get married. Women in her family were training her all her life to be a wife. There were just certain traditions in her family and she never minded. She never really felt like she missed out on anything. And she liked knowing that it would be Ali. Her sisters didn’t find out who they would marry until they were teenagers. She at least had time to grow to like Ali and get to know him. Jaya didn’t like the man she was supposed to marry and she refused.

Claudia was the youngest so she would be the last to get married. It would break her mother’s heart for her to refuse like Jaya. If she was left to choose her own husband she was pretty sure she would never get married. Dating did not interest her and she was too busy for that anyway. Some people didn’t like arranged marriages but she embraced it so that one day she could have a family. In all the years that she and Ali knew they would get married, he never showed an interest in her. Her sisters said that he would once they were married. Now he was suddenly a little too interested in her and it made no sense.

 “That is good to know but I would never have asked you that. Aashna, I was just thinking and then your message came and I thought it was a sign. Reality sort of set in for me, my brother’s his wife is cheating on him. So I thought what if you fell for someone else and then had to marry me? It happens you know and I just wondered why are we dating other people instead of each other,” he said.

“Last night Luxx and I talked about that,” she whispered. That was no coincidence, this was fate, everything with them seemed to be.

“Really?” He asked staring at her and she nodded.

“Yes, that was why she wrote you the message,” she replied.

“Well that is something we should discuss when you get back home. I can take you to dinner and we can see if it’s something we should do,” he said. That was not what she wanted hear, he was way too formal sometimes. “I’m going to head back home, it was good to see you Aashna.” He kissed her forehead and before he could get away she kissed his lips.

“Stay,” she told him and he just stared at her. Truth be told she was a little shocked that she’d kissed him too. When they were younger she’d confessed that she never kissed a boy and so Ali kissed her. It wasn’t exactly romantic and it was a long time ago.

“I don’t want to intrude on your time with your friends. Besides I don’t think your father would like that,” he said.

“He’s not here is he?” She asked and once again he stared. Maybe Luxx was right that she needed to just stop being a control-freak and do whatever.

“Aashna, what has gotten into you?” He asked staring at her like she was a stranger.

“Call me Claudia,” she replied. “I think you should stay here with me, because obviously this was meant to be. Why should we wait to talk? We can be together now and sort out what it is we want. Ali I do not want us to have a bad marriage and I want to love you. Everybody says it’s not important and that we will grow to love each other, but it matters to me. Honestly, I didn’t realize how much it matters to me. You don’t have to stay and it’s probably a bad idea but I want you to.”

Silently he stood there staring at her like she was crazy. Of course he was, good girls didn’t have sleepovers with men. It wasn’t just anybody though, he would be her husband. Their mothers hadn’t picked an exact date yet but most likely next summer they would get married. Knowing it was going to happen was one thing but when plans were made it became real. Her grandmother was going to make her dress like she did with her mother and sisters. Right now was not the time to think of their wedding, she wanted him to have feelings for her. Not because their parents said so but because he wanted to.

This was a crazy bad idea and her parents never wanted her to come on this trip anyway. The reason she was allowed was because her parents trusted her. They knew she wasn’t going to go off and get into anything they didn’t approve of. Hadn’t she shown them she was a good daughter? She never argued or talked back, sometimes she got angry but held it in. There was only one thing she disagreed on and that was her career choice. But everybody knew they would get their way and it was a pretty feeble fight she put up. She couldn’t disappoint her family no matter what, it went against everything she was taught and believed. Besides if her parents had to choose if she was spending alone time with a guy they would want it to be Ali.

“We’ve never truly been alone you know,” Ali said.

“I know and we technically wouldn’t be here. Well you would probably have to sleep on the couch because we’re sharing rooms. But you could get to know my friends and we can be together without familial supervision,” she said.

“You are sharing a bed with someone?” He asked and she laughed.

“Just with Tess, I would never share a bed with a man. Well I mean I never have and I only ever stayed at Landon’s apartment once. But they let the girls have the bed, which was the only reason my mom didn’t freak out,” she explained.

“Is it weird if I don’t like the thought of you with someone else?” That question she hadn’t expected at all.

“Aren’t all men a little possessive? I mean I am your birthday present,” she replied and they both laughed. Their families thought that was funny to say and tell other people.

“Are you sure you want me to stay? Won’t your friends mind?”

“No, why would they? And I wouldn’t ask you to stay if I didn’t mean it.”

“Ok, I’ll stay, my mother will have a heart attack but I will stay.”

“Did you tell her that you were coming to see me?”

“Sort of, I mentioned I might check in on you. By now she’s called your mother and they will probably be discussing us.”

“They have nothing to worry about; I’m not having sex with you or anything. We’ve barely ever kissed; I can wait until we are married. Technically we aren’t officially engaged since they decided when we were babies,” she shrugged. This was the most open conversation she ever had with him in 22 years.

“You are very different now than you have been with me in the past,” he observed.

“Ali, this is the longest we’ve been alone of course I don’t talk about sex. Really what do they think will happen if we are alone?” She had been wondering that her whole life.

“Something like this,” he said and kissed her. It wasn’t just a little peck, it was a real kiss. Her head was spinning but she kissed him back. “I should have asked could I kiss you.”

“We aren’t being formal with each other anymore,” she told him.

“So I can kiss you if I want to?”

“Yes, you have my permission.”

“Do I have to call you Claudia?”

“My friends do and Aashna isn’t what they have ever called me.”

“Can I just call you Na-Na?” He asked and she laughed, that was what her family called her since she was little. Or her sisters decided Claudi-Na was more amusing to them.

“Do not call me Na-Na it’s bad enough my family still does,” she replied. “Come on, I’m going to show you off to my friends and later you can watch my movie with us.” She took his hand and he let her lead him into the house. When she got a chance she was definitely calling her sisters to discuss this situation.

 

 

Luxx was alone in the bedroom waiting for Landon, she have to force Charlie to leave. She felt guilty enough without his unsolicited opinion. When Landon did finally come in he stared at her with the strangest expression. He came in and closed the door and locked it. There was not playfulness in his eyes like there usually was. So that meant Lacey got to him and he was coming to end things. After they talked she thought it would be ok but nope. She had a bad feeling in her stomach, she wanted to throw up. Anxiety could make her sick and he was making her very anxious.

“Are you breaking up with me now? I can save you the trouble because we aren’t really together. It’s just funny that you told me not to worry about what Lacey says but obviously she changed your mind,” she said. She was not going to let him see her cry, not again and not over him.

“Did you tell me everything that happened?”  He asked and that was surprising.

“What? I’m not talking about that again and if I didn’t say something it’s because it isn’t your business,” she replied.

“I think I need to know,” he said seriously. What could he possibly think she was keeping from him?

“What did Lacey say? Did she say I lied to you? Oh and thank you for discussing my personal business with your sister,” she said. Now she was angry because she had an idea what he was asking about.

“She said you didn’t tell me everything, and she didn’t say what it was. But she said if I knew then I wouldn’t have had sex with you so since I have I want to know,” he said.

Right now she wanted to kill him and Lacey both. Lacey shouldn’t have said anything. And she could guess what he thought she was hiding. She had been friends with Lacey since she was three years old therefore it had been almost 19 years that they knew each other. So she knew Landon just as long and he was just telling her he loved her. Now, there were no words for what he was implying. She knew what he meant when he said he loved her she wasn’t so disillusioned to believe it was romantic love. But people that loved you wouldn’t believe the worst in you without any real reason. Even though she mad at Lacey, what she said could have been taken a different way. Nope, this was proof that this thing with him should never have happened.

“Landon you can go to hell, it’s none of your damn business. I just can’t believe that you would think I what have some disease? Yes I do and it’s called chronically stupid with a side of very bad taste in men,” she told him. “I can’t stay in a room with you, so you can go crawl on top of Tess to amuse yourself. Right now I don’t even want to be in this house.”

“I’m sorry but what was I supposed to think?”

“Oh I don’t know that I wouldn’t have sex with you if I had something?”

“Luxx,” he started looking loss for words.

“I’m going to pack my stuff and have my brother come get me,” she said.

“The things she said to me about myself are true, I’m a bad person. If I try to pursue something with you then there’s a good chance I will hurt you. And the last thing I want to do is hurt you, believe it or not. So if I was to say right now I accept that you don’t want to be near me, I’m still hurting you. Tell your brother to sharpen his axe,” he sighed. “I’m sorry ok? When she said that I didn’t know what to think and that was all that came to mind. Like why wouldn’t I want to have sex with you?”

“That’s not what she meant, it’s not about having sex it’s about me actually letting you touch me. And actually having sex at all, that’s what it is,” Luxx explained.

“Hate me, I deserve it but please tell me what it is,” he pleaded.

“This isn’t the time or place,” she whispered.

“Luxx, let me in please, I’m trying,” he said softly. He came over to the bed to sit beside her and took her hand.

“He made me have sex with him and I was pregnant,” she admitted.

Oh sweet silence, he sat there staring at her not saying anything for a long time. Right now she hated Landon and Lacey for making her think about this. What happened to the carefree vacation? She wished she stayed home like her father wanted her to. He didn’t want her far away, not when he’d almost lost her. Between him, Rueben and Charlie she felt safe with them around. They were the important men in her life and she loved them. So where did Landon fit? At the moment she wasn’t sure anymore. What she needed was some space to think and some fresh air.

“He raped you?” Landon asked and she nodded.

“There was no way I could have his baby, I couldn’t have loved his child. And it’s not really your business Landon; it has nothing to do with you. This is the last thing on earth I want to talk about so don’t ask me anymore questions. I’ve worked very hard to get pass this and I can’t let you drag me down because you’re suddenly curious. If you really cared about me you would have asked when it happened. No, you didn’t care to know the ugly details until you decided I was important enough to have attention. Funny that I became so important after we had sex,” she said.

Why did she have to be tormented by this? The more she tried to move on the more other people tried to drag her back in. Being with Landon and letting him touch her and kiss her was very different. She didn’t have to worry if he would physically hurt her in anyway. And she trusted him because she thought she knew him. Now he just yanked her heart out and played with her emotions. When was she going to get a break? Or better yet when was she going to stop trusting men? Every single time it ended badly.

“I need air,” she told him and got up. Right now she felt like she was suffocating, she didn’t even turn back when he called her.

 

 

“Oh my God,” Tess whispered. Amanda closed her eyes she knew what it said.

“I’m pregnant?” She asked needed the conformation and got the nod. “F**k me, I’m so screwed.” They were in the bathroom together trying to keep this secret.

“Are you going to tell Brett?” Tess asked and Amanda laughed. It was probably a delirious type of thing because she was losing her mind.

“Hell no, why would I tell him?” She asked and Tess stared.

“Isn’t it his?”

“I don’t know so it doesn’t matter.”

“Who else were you with?”

“Just like two guys, I was drunk ok? I’m not cheating on Brett or anything it just happened. So you save your judgy comments to yourself,” she sighed.

“Nobody was judging you w***e,” Tess replied.

“In case you don’t know Landon is doing Luxx,” Amanda said. That was a little mean but she felt mean and she’d overheard Lacey and Landon talking.

“Are you serious? Or is this you just being the evil b***h you are?” Tess asked and she did look hurt.

“Yes, Lacey was yelling at him about it and I heard. Sorry, I was being a b***h to say it like that but please move on. He’s sexy yes but he isn’t worth it,” she told her. “Now let’s go cause I need a f*****g drink.”

Amanda opened the door and pulled Tess to follow her. In this crappy group of friends they were the pretty ones. She didn’t dislike her friends, but right now she was annoyed. How did she let this happen? Pregnant chicks didn’t book modeling jobs so she knew there was no choice. Besides she was not telling Brett about this, she couldn’t. There was this one time she sort of cheated on him and he forgave her. This time he wasn’t going to forgive her. They had been together since junior year of high school. She loved him and if the modeling thing didn’t work out she needed him to take care of her. Brett was smart and he had a good job in accounting or finance, something like that. Math bored her so it wasn’t that important.

Tonight she would get drunk to forget this huge mistake and text her mother to have this taken care of. Wasn’t it her mother that taught her the importance of keeping a good man? Not that her mother kept men or that any of them were good. The thing about Brett was that he was too nice and too sweet and loved her too much. And he was so trusting she hated it. If she told him she was going out clubbing and wouldn’t be back until morning he would say fine and be safe. He would even tell her that he would pick her up no matter what the time. Why was he with her?

Down in the kitchen he was there laughing with the guys. Which now seemed to include Claudia’s fiancé, what was up with that? Not that it mattered, except he was a very good looking Indian boy. If she didn’t adore Claudia then he would be fair game. Oh right wasn’t she just thinking she needed to stop cheating on Brett? Was it really cheating if she was drunk and didn’t know the names of those two guys? It was definitely s****y because she had sex with two different guys at two different clubs in the same night. But it was technically her mother’s fault for dragging her to Miami for a “girl’s weekend”. That was code for “find a new rich guy time”.

            A therapist would say that she was so screwed up because of her bed hopping trampy gold-digger mother. And that was very true but she’d been with Brett since she was 16. So technically she was a lot better than her mother. Honestly she didn’t mind the multiple step-daddies and sometimes she admired her mother. Mommy gave her whatever she wanted because it was just the two of them against the men of the world. Or that was what she use to say. When Amanda decided she wanted bigger breasts for her 18^th birthday, Mommy got her some nice D cups. They went to the hair salon together and got the best extensions there were for their blonde hair. They even tanned together and they had a few sexy trainers to keep them in shape. Amanda lived a fabulous pampered princess life and she loved it.

            She did try really hard to go to college and do something with her life. But classes were too early when she partied all night. It got boring and why did she need to be smart anyway? Smart girls didn’t live her life or look as good as she did. So Mommy got her an agent and she was modeling. Some people might think her pictures were a little tasteless and tacky but she didn’t care. Her aspiration in life was to become a Playboy model. Brett didn’t really like that but he would never tell her not to do something.

            Amanda went over to him and kissed him, her sweet kindhearted future husband. Claudia wasn’t the only one that was going to get married. Twenty-four was a little young to get married but she had been with Brett for 8 years. He was definitely going to ask her soon, and she would have a kick a*s wedding. Nobody could out do her no reality show chicks or celebrities, she was going to have an amazing wedding. Brett’s parents didn’t always approve of her. His father had his own company, which was where Brett worked. His mother was a high-end real estate agent as a hobby. In the past she was a fashion model and an actress and in some Broadway productions. She was a little famous and took up the real estate thing after her kids were grown.

            When Amanda first start going out with Brett he was the hot football player and she was a hot cheerleader. Match made in high school social heaven. He was also an amazing singer, it was this thing in high school but he didn’t pursue it. A car accident ruined his football dreams so he settled for working for his father. Amanda didn’t mind because his father obviously made serious cash. Once Amanda had a passion for theater, but she gave up that dream. Her mother thought a performing arts high school was stupid. But she didn’t actually go there full-time. It was like a half and half thing with another school because she cheered. That was also a dream she let go, professional cheerleading.

            “Are you ok Mandy?” Brett asked her and she smiled at him.

            “I’m perfect Baby,” she said. She hated lying to him, but what could she really do? Nobody would ever love her like he did, that was why she couldn’t let him go.

            “Good, do you need anything?” He asked, always so attentive. Every need she had he fulfilled. No matter what she couldn’t lose him, she was not going to become her mother. There was no way in hell that was happening, ever.

            “Make me a drink,” she said and he nodded. Brett spoiled the hell out of her; he would do anything for her.

Part of her wanted to keep this baby, just because then he would propose sooner. Trainers and nannies were available so she could give him a baby and still be a model. Everybody had babies now anyway. Brett would be an amazing father. It was something to think about. Their condo did have a lot of space, it could work. He would never suspect anything and she could secretly get a DNA test done. Once she got home she needed to conference with her mother. For now she was going to drink and have fun, but she wouldn’t get drunk. There was after all no guarantee she was having the thing anyway.