Allie Chapter 38

Allie (Chapter 38) Surprises

Chapter 38

 

Ricky took a deep breath to try to calm down. He didn’t hear her right; there was no way that she really just said that. Since February their relationship had been good. She stopped being crazy and jealous and he gave up on getting rid of her. Everything between them was fine. And he had spent a lot of time with his sister recently while she tried to get back on her feet. That was still iffy and he wanted to mostly focus on her and his family. Now it seemed that he was going to be having his own huge problem. He should have known when she called begging him to come home from work. Maybe he really hadn’t heard what she said. And he definitely should have broken up with her months ago. He never wanted this relationship anyway.

“What did you say?” He asked to clarify that.

“I’m pregnant,” she repeated.

“Who got you pregnant? We have always used protection and you are supposed to be on birth control.”

“You know I’ve only been with you.”

“Then how the hell did this happen?”

“Well you know how it happened,” she said. The way she refused to make eye contact told him what happened.

“What did you do Syd?” He asked but he had a slight suspicion but wanted to be wrong, the alternative would be too much.

“Ok fine, I um thought that since we love each other so much that we should be married. So I thought you needed a little push. I might have stuck a pin in some of the condoms when um I was upset with you,” she admitted.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” He stood up to get away from her and to try to process this.

“I want to be married Ricky and I love you,” she said like it was ok. “Maybe it was a little extreme but I couldn’t lose you.”

“Did you ever listen when I told you why I didn’t want to get married? I just got to have a life to myself and you do this? For one thing we have not even been together very long. This is exactly why I never wanted to get in a relationship with you. Didn’t I tell you that one day that we probably would get married? Thank you so much Sydney, I have never gotten to choose my own life. And you know that and you would do this to me?” He just stared at her, he was pissed and she started crying. It was the first time he had no instinct to comfort her.

“I really love you and we should be together we can have a family. It’s still your life, it would be your child not someone else’s. This isn’t a bad thing, I’m sorry if you feel betrayed. Our child came from our love,” she said. She had some nerve, maybe she really was crazy.

“No this child came from your deceit and insanity,” he replied. The pacing was to keep from choking her; he was never violent with a female in his life. If he got too close to her that would definitely change.

“If this isn’t really what you want then we don’t have to have a baby,” she said looking him in his eyes.

“How stupid are you? What’s done is done, there is no changing,” he growled.

It took a few deep breaths and clenching and unclenching his fists to calm him. Who was this person that he let in his life? What type of person did things like this? This was his fault for getting in way too deep. Men or women it was the same he couldn’t be in a relationship. If he wanted kids then there were two of them that wanted him to be their father. And it wasn’t even that he wouldn’t want children because he did. But not now, and she knew that. Most of the problem was that she knew how he felt, they talked about everything. The only other person he ever shared himself with like this was Angel. Somehow he chose Sydney over someone he loved that would never betray him like this.

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered.

“My sister is so hurt and broken like I’ve never seen before and I’m supposed to tell my family this? I’m supposed to act like I want this? I can’t look her in the eyes and tell her your dumb a*s tricked me into getting you pregnant,” he told her. “Everybody thought I was crazy for being with you and you proved it.”

“I’m sorry, but what was I supposed to do? Should I have just let someone else take you away from me? What could I do? I love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody and I wasn’t thinking,” she said. The more she spoke the harder she cried.

“The things that happened with Angel I told you about and I never lied to you. After the first time I was with her I called you and told you the truth. And I in fact told you there was a good chance I would do it again. You could have left then, you should have. No instead you tormented me and now you do this? Weren’t you the one who wanted an open relationship? While we’re on that subject had I been with anybody else while you played your games you put us at risk. What if we both caught a disease or something? Or let’s say because you know I’m such a cheater I was with Angel? Then you would both be pregnant,” he said. That only made her cry harder.

“I don’t think you are a cheater and it was supposed to be open so you could be with men. Didn’t I compromise for you? And I forgave you for being with her, because I thought you loved me,” she cried.

“If I wanted to be with Angel I would be, instead I’m here. This is why I never wanted to do this with you. I knew better and I let my feelings for you cloud my judgment. Now we both have to live with it, I loved you so much Sydney. So much that I hurt Sammie and Jordan because I chose to be with you. That of course wasn’t good enough for you and you refused to break up. So this is my fault right?”

“No, I know I messed up but Ricky I love you. And I know how you feel about her and kids and its torture.”

“This isn’t love Sydney, you don’t do this to someone you love,” he told her.

“I love you so much and I know I was wrong. If you never want to see me again I understand. This isn’t your responsibility,” she sniffled.

“Know what? You get your wish, hope it makes you happy.”

“What does that mean?”

“I’ll marry you.”

“What? Why would you do that?”

“Because you went to all the trouble so there you go,” he shrugged. At the moment he was beyond caring about anything, especially her.

“Are you ever going to love me again?” She asked, he still couldn’t look at her.

“Honestly right now I don’t know how I feel about you. I loved you with all of my heart and I gave myself to you and this relationship. We were together even though I never wanted a relationship and you just kept pushing. My family pretty much thought I was insane to be with you. Not even because of the gay thing but because you are f*****g crazy,” he said. “But I’ll marry you and you can have what you wanted.”

This whole thing was a one night stand gone very wrong. All these months she was in his life he didn’t want to get so invested. No matter what he wanted she wouldn’t go away. If he wanted to be tied down he would have just gave Angel what she wanted. With women it was whatever they wanted, he never got what he wanted. And since he didn’t actually want to be with a man he was screwed. A life in solitude would have been better than this. Sydney was supposed to be the normal part of his life. His siblings didn’t care if he was gay or bi or whatever. He did and he knew though he tried not to care what his mother thought about anything, he did. She loved Sydney because Sydney was a female and not Angel.

His life was a mess, it always was. So why did he expect it to ever get better? What she’d done to him was not right or fair. But what choices did he have none? Like always he had none, not if she was having his baby. No matter how it happened it happened, so he was stuck with her. It just couldn’t have come a worse time. His siblings did always come first with him they were his family.

Wildflower had always been the closest to him and it was true he favored her a little. To see the way she was now was killing him. She was trying to get things in her life normal, but how could she ever be normal? After Daisy died she was bad and this time it was much worse. He hadn’t known at first how much she wanted children. She probably didn’t either now she couldn’t have any. Now Sydney was pregnant and he knew it would hurt her. Because she was the way she was she would pretend like it didn’t bother her. But he was bothered for her and wanted to strangle Sydney.

Why was the world against him being happy? Though he was pretty sure his father would be proud. Pretty much he wasn’t sure he even wanted to tell his family about this. It was possible to hide it; Sydney didn’t spend a lot of time with his family. Mostly it was because he didn’t need any drama between her and Angel. With Angel still living in the mansion it was difficult, but she was actually being helpful. Even if he could hide this it was wrong. He didn’t lie to his family, he wasn’t a dishonest person he always told the truth. The only person he ever actually lied to was himself and that was so sad.

Sometimes he really wished he could go against the things his father taught him. But it was hard and Angel had told him more than once over the years that he was brainwashed. Maybe he was a little, but what could he do? Some of the beliefs he actually shared and didn’t have a problem with. Unlike his father he was obviously more open-minded, but that wasn’t exactly by choice. He was starting to realize he’d been using his sexuality and his father’s beliefs to distance himself from relationships. So he never really did anything or did try to have a life because he was afraid. Sydney had been a blessing in more ways than one. If she hadn’t done this then he would really have wanted to be with her. There was a reason he’d chosen to let this relationship go on and now he regretted it more than he’d ever regretted anything in his life.

“You hate me now, don’t you?” Sydney asked and he could hear the pout in her voice, still he looked away.

“Did I say that?” He didn’t bother to deny it but he didn’t exactly hate her. What he felt right now was very close to hate though.

“Why would you marry me? I did something that you will never forgive me for,” she said.

“I’m going for a drive,” he said grabbing his keys.

“You won’t even look at me,” she sniffled.

“Trust me you don’t want me to,” he replied. “Stay here and try not to do anything else stupid. You do at least owe me that.”

“Where are you going?”

“None of your damn business,” he said.

Finally he turned to look at her all red-eyed and tear streaked. For once he had no desire to comfort her. What he felt for her was disgust and anger. He may have had sex with Angel but this was completely uncalled for. There wasn’t really a question of where he was going to go, he just didn’t want to. But anywhere was better than here with Sydney. She was just so luck he wasn’t violent. A weaker man might have at the very least slapped her. Lucky her he promised to marry her instead, he hated his life.

 

 

Wildflower was hiding in her room for a little while after dinner. She was tired and needed a little break. The medication she no longer took had actually helped her to be a little less overwhelmed. But she was soldiering on without it and working at starting over. Now she accepted that she would never get back to the way she was. At least she was functioning again and it was a slow process. Like Christina said it baby steps. Today was one of her better days and she hadn’t cried in two whole days. Even though it was a good day she didn’t need a visitor. Her family was there daily, they seemed to never leave.

In the over three months since everything happened she didn’t see her friends. Not that she had many friends, but only very immediate family was around. So it was a surprise to see Tara. They exchanged a few texts but she had trouble trying to connect to people anymore. Even if they were a little overwhelming sometimes her family was what she knew and was use to. Having friends wasn’t something she was use to. Not that she didn’t love them and want to see them. Just now she was still a little withdrawn and working up towards the friends thing. Brooke and Christina didn’t count as friends and neither did Angel really, they were family.

“I know you don’t want visitors now and I get it. But I’ve been debating on this for over a month and I had to talk to you,” Tara said.

“Tara, I love you but I don’t feel up for talking today,” she said.

“Then just listen,” Tara said. She did a little pacing before she began so this must have been big. “This is so wrong of me because I know you are still very hurt after what happened. There was once when I had a miscarriage but I know it’s completely not the same. So I get some of it and I know goes beyond losing the baby. Please don’t hate me for bringing this up but have you thought of adoption?”

“You’re asking because it’s your job? To be honest I didn’t really think about it. I was in a frame of mind that just heard the not able to have children part. The doctor mentioned adoption but I think Nick would want children that he shared DNA with,” she replied.

“The reason I’m asking isn’t just because of volunteering,” Tara said giving a look. And that was when she caught on.

“Oh no, Tara you are not saying what I think you are, are you?”

“You want children and they need parents that can devote themselves. Look at what you’ve done for Allie. The reason they are still there is because they don’t warm up to strangers all that well and people worry. They saw something traumatic and could have issues. The point is they love you and you love them. And they have been asking about you.”

“What did you tell them?”

“Um that you were sick, they are young they don’t understand.”

“I’ve thought about it before, but I didn’t think I could do it with a baby and the teens. Now they take care of me more than I do them and there is no baby,” she sighed. But she was proud of herself that she didn’t cry. “I love them but it would be wrong right now. Then Allie is just barely back in school.”

“Ok, I figured it was a bad time. I just really wanted to make sure they don’t get split up. Some people were considering one but not the other. Doesn’t matter it’s not your issue, they will be fine. But I do have something for you from them, they’ve drawn you pictures and wrote letters,” Tara said. Then she pulled a big yellow envelope from her bag. Tara didn’t play fair, this was an impossible situation.

“Thank you for visiting I know I’m not a great friend,” she said taking the envelope.

“We all understand, everything takes time,” Tara said. They hugged and said their goodbyes and Tara left.

Alone Wildflower looked through what was in the envelope. Though she’d been doing so well she cried, it was impossible not to. Before the girls use to draw pictures for Iago, they were sweet like that. It wouldn’t be fair to them for her to be their mother. Getting through more than one day without crying was a task for her. How could she be a mother to two small girls? And even if she could hold it together to be a mother she wasn’t sure how her husband would feel. These sweet little girls deserved a mother that could love them and give herself to them. They had to be somebody’s priority not their distraction.

Her relationship with her husband was getting a lot better. After the thing with Eric she was afraid she would lose him. Thankfully he was amazing and they were getting close against. They actually had sex again without her getting weird about it. He was happier with Eric out of her life. Jay told her he’d been there when Nicolas had a chat with Eric. The chat involved her husband punching him in the face and between the two of them Jay found out her secret. She was surprised between Brooke and Ivan that he didn’t know. As expected Jay wasn’t friends with Eric anymore, but it wasn’t just the sneaking around. Her whole family took issue with him as they put it “putting her life in danger”. And they all agreed that he took advantage of her but she just avoided talking about it. What was the point?

Despite her personal drama she was feeling less crazy depressed. So she started wondering “what if”. Those girls needed a home and she had a big home. They needed family and she had a big loving family. And they needed to stay together; she would never have survived without her siblings. She could give them a home and love and a family. But she wasn’t sure how Nicolas felt about adoption. It was different for them to adopt Allie she was family and his favorite niece. Then she had to think about how Allie would feel and her family. Would they think it was too soon?

It had been three months and she was a lot better than she had been. But was there really a time limit on this type of thing? Was she supposed to stop feeling like her whole world was ripped apart? Adoption wasn’t a quick and easy thing a lot was involved, it was a process. Would anybody actually let her adopt a child? People knew what happened, not really her other problems but they knew enough. And she was pretty sure that being mentally stable was a required thing with adoption. She felt hopeless and pain like nothing she’d ever felt but at least she hadn’t been suicidal. This was too difficult and was a bad idea. It just wasn’t the right time; there was never a right time with her.

When Nicolas came in she had the pictures spread out over the bed. He raised an eyebrow but said nothing and went into the closet. Why hide any of this? It was really sweet that these girls thought about her so much. Damn Tara, she really wanted this. Hadn’t she always wanted this? Before it was the wrong time because of the baby and this time the absence of said baby. So what could she do? Today she had perfect clarity and this wasn’t about replacing her son. Nobody could ever replace him in her heart. But she already loved these girls and wasn’t that most important? If she ever got overwhelmed she had family around always and a wonderful husband. Nicolas wanted children but was DNA that important to him?

  “What’s all this?” Nicolas asked when he came out in his boxers. As usual he got a shower as soon as he got home. He picked up one of the pictures and looked at it.

“Oh um Tara stopped by, it’s from some of the kids I use to work with,” she explained. Absently he kissed her forehead and continued to inspect the pictures.

“You actually spoke to Tara when she came?”

“Yes, I may not want to see a lot people but I’m not rude.”

“Of course not, I’m just surprised. What did she want?”

“To uh make an impossible proposal,” she said watching him.

“What was so impossible?” He asked and sat down beside her.

“All of these pictures are from these two little girls, they are sisters. What Tara thought was that since I kind of fell in love with them that we should adopt them,” she told him.

“Really? Is that something you would want to do?” That wasn’t how she expected him to react.

“We’ve never talked about adoption, but I don’t know. Since I met them I wanted to bring them home with me. But I was pregnant and life was crazy enough. Besides I probably shouldn’t be allowed around children, I would screw them up,” she sighed. “I know it’s not something you would want to do anyway.”

“Baby, if it’s what you want we can look into it. I’m not against adoption; I would like to have kids that are ours, yes that’s true. But it’s pretty obvious that they feel the same as you do about them. And so you know no matter what has happened I couldn’t think of a better mother for anybody,” he said.

“Nick, are you sure? I love that you think I could handle this but I’m not 100% certain of that. And I’ve been so out of it for the last few months, that’s not mother material.”

“Have you never met my mother? Or your own mother? Compared to them you are the picture of sanity. I know you and I can see it’s what you want. How about we go see them tomorrow? I can move some things around and clear my day. It can’t hurt to do that and I could meet them,” he suggested.

“Did I ever tell you that you are the most amazing husband ever?” She asked turning to kiss him.

“Not recently,” he replied and kissed her. “So tell me about them.”

“Um Tabitha is 5 and Amber is 4, they are so cute and sweet. Their mother left their father and he killed her and himself. It’s awful and they didn’t have other family so they have be orphans for over a year. From the first time I went there on to the last time I went, they followed me everywhere. They even made me some pictures for Iago,” she said. Pausing to take a breath, she thought about them. The tears still came anyway and he wrapped his arms around her.

“I will call Tara and tell her we are going to consider this, ok? She can tell the people in charge and we can get this started,” he said.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

This was probably a bad idea but she couldn’t change her mind. She was still vulnerable and still hurt and sad. But maybe these girls were the push she needed to truly get back into her life. One thing she knew she could give them was love and wasn’t that what mattered? They could have a mother and father that would love and protect them. Silently she prayed that she could be strong enough for this. There had to be a reason she had to go through all of this pain. Not just because of what Nicolas had done in the past. But there just had to be a greater reason right? Maybe she was meant to be a mother to these girls. It was possible anything was possible at this point.

 

 

Ricky went to Isaiah’s house, not by choice but because he couldn’t help it. They may have fought like crazy all the time but he was closest to this brother. No matter how many knock out drag down fights they had he trusted him with his life. Hopefully this wasn’t a mistake; he didn’t want to tell anybody anything. But if he had to tell somebody and gain some outside perspective Isaiah absolutely never sugarcoated anything. It took him awhile to actually get out of the car. Thankfully Isaiah answered the door and Christina and her skivvy brother weren’t home. Telling Christina meant that she would tell Wildflower; there was no way she wouldn’t.

“You show up at my house and don’t call, something must be wrong,” Isaiah said. They both headed towards the kitchen.

“Sydney called me today crying that she needed me to come home and she’s pregnant,” Ricky told him. He sat down at the table with his head in his hands, it was worst to tell people.

“I thought you were the responsible brother?” Isaiah asked in obvious shock.

“She did this to herself,” he replied.

“What did she do? Poke holes in condoms?” Isaiah asked with a laugh until Ricky turned to look at him. “No, she really did that? Are you serious?”

“Think I would be here if I wasn’t,” he sighed. His brother set a glass and a bottle of liquor in front of him.

“We all knew she was crazy but wow, what the hell is wrong with her?” Isaiah asked taking a seat opposite him.

“She feels threatened by Angel for no good reason and now I’m screwed.”

“Didn’t you choose her over Angel?”

“Yup, I guess that was a huge mistake. Angel would never do this to me.”

“Where is Sydney now?”

“At my place,” he sighed. “I honestly was about to kill her.”

“What are you going to do? Besides staying away from that psycho,” Isaiah said then stared at him. “Ricardo you cannot stay with her because she’s pregnant.”

“And what else should I do? No matter how it happened it happened so I can’t do anything about it. She went to all the trouble she might as well get what she wanted so desperately,” he grumbled. Normally he wasn’t that big of a drinker but Sydney drove him to it.

“Het guys,” Christina said when she came in. Ariela was on her hip and she got down to run to her daddy.

“Chris, you won’t believe-”

“Don’t,” Ricky cut him off.

“She’ll find out anyway,” Isaiah said. “Unless of course she changes her mind.”

“No, I told her that’s not what I wanted,” he replied.

“Maybe Chris can talk to her then,” Isaiah pushed.

“What’s going on?” Christina put a bag on the counter and then was filling a cup for Ariela.

“Nothing,” he said.

Parts of this scene were like déjà vu, this conversation happened before. The difference was that Isaiah was the one with the pregnant girlfriend. Isaiah had made it clear after he found out that he didn’t want a child. So they talked and had a few drink and he told his brother he needed to think of Christina. At least she didn’t get pregnant on purpose and she wasn’t crazy. Isaiah sucked it up and did what he was supposed to and took responsibility for his actions. Both Isaiah and Christina had been irresponsible but from that came their beautiful daughter. Ricky had been responsible yet here he was because Sydney was an idiot.

“Sydney is pregnant,” Isaiah said and he glared at him.

“Thanks big mouth,” Ricky shook his head and took a drink.

“If you are keeping the kid then everybody will find out anyway,” Isaiah pointed out.

“Wow, Ricky I kind of thought you’d end up back with Angel. I didn’t know you were that serious with Sydney,” Christina said.

“He isn’t, she messed with their condoms so she would get pregnant,” Isaiah told her and she gasped.

“Oh my God, are you serious?” She asked and he just nodded. “Why? Wait, no, she is definitely the trap-a-guy-type. What are you going to do?”

“He plans to marry her,” Isaiah answered.

“Why? You can take care of your child without being with that sneaky little witch,” she said. Of course this was the same thing the rest of his family would say too.

“I love her,” he whispered. How he wished that was still true because it would make things easier. Christina came over and wrapped her arms around him.

“You were the one to tell me to be patient with Isaiah, remember? It’s not love she’s devious and dishonest. Weren’t you the one to teach everybody that you never lie to family? Who knows what else she is capable of? Don’t do this to yourself,” she whispered in his ear. “Ricky, you are way too good of a person to tie yourself to her.”

“I have to it, even if I never forgive her,” he said.

“Stop trying to be responsible and do the right thing. In this situation the last thing you should do is reward her deception. And you think it’s going to be good for your kid if you hate the mother? Marrying her is going to be torture,” Isaiah said. It was pretty obvious they were both very concerned.

“Come on Ricky, the reason you are here is because you knew what Isaiah would say. You needed to hear the truth from your family that loves you. What if it isn’t your baby? She could have been with somebody else to get back at you,” Christina said. “Obviously she can’t be trusted.”

“She was only with me,” he said. Defending his decision was pointless; he didn’t come for their approval.

Christina knew him a little too well he did need to hear the truth, but it wasn’t easy. He was torn between doing what he thought was right and something so wrong. What Sydney did was wrong and there was no way to spin that. All his life he tried so hard to do the things that were expected of him. When his father died he quit school and gave up ever having his own life. Why? Because he was the oldest and it was the right thing to do. He never got choices in his life, now he had to choose if he would in the future. There was no law that said he had to marry Sydney, this wasn’t the past. Everything that happened now would be his decision, good or bad.

“Ricky, please don’t do this,” Christina pleaded.

“If you are miserable and fighting with Sydney, how will that affect this kid?” Isaiah asked him and he actually laughed.

“You are one to talk,” he replied.

“Exactly, we know what that’s like and that’s why you shouldn’t do that. We can admit we haven’t always been the best couple. I can admit that most of it was my fault. Our situation is a lot different than yours. What you need to do is take the kid once she has it and send her back home,” Isaiah told him.

“Your family would help you raise your child,” Christina told him. It was a little amusing that both of them agreed on this. The rest of the family would too; they were always united when it mattered.

“It’s wrong to keep a child from its mother,” he said.

He couldn’t help it he never just accepted things he was a fighter. So why was he willing to just give Sydney what she wanted? The idea of what they proposed was tempting but it would be wrong. Maybe he needed to talk to Jose; he had full control over his son. Jose decided when and if his son would see his mother. Could Ricky really do that? It just seemed wrong and he was certain his father would never approve of that.

The saddest thing was that he still wanted the approval of a man who was long dead. That was just one thing he never grew out of. Since he was already a disappointment he didn’t want to make it worse. Marrying Sydney would make him miserable, he knew that. But keeping her from their child was something that he could never do. No matter how he felt about her she would always be the mother of his child. Though this was a hell of a shock to him, he didn’t hate the idea of having a child.

“It was wrong for her to try to trap you,” Christina pointed out. “Give me your keys; I’m going to talk to her.”

“Don’t,” Ricky said. Already by himself he’d drank half the bottle of vodka. Right now anything was better than going home. Eventually he would have to deal with this mess that was now his life.

“Think about what you’re doing Ricardo, don’t waste your life on her. Hell I’m starting to miss you being with Angel, even she’d not this desperate,” Isaiah sighed. “I know why you’re doing this. It’s the same with everything damn thing you do. Let it go Ricardo he’s dead.”

Isaiah knew him like no one else did, of course he would know. What he was noticing was that his brother changed a lot after getting married. Christina and Ariela changed him, mostly for the better. Ricky envied his brother having a family of his own. That was what he always wanted. Here it was right in front of him, he could have it. But he didn’t want it to happen like this. It was supposed to be something he planned for and something he was happy about. Instead he was very conflicted and unsure of what to do.

Ariela came over to Ricky and offered him her milk, was that a sign? Looking at her made him want this. The truth was the same as he told Sammie before; he shouldn’t be with a woman. Trying to be someone he wasn’t got him in this mess. Maybe he could be with either men or women sexually but not in a relationship. He wondered what his child would think of him and his sexuality confliction. These days a lot of same sex couples raised children. That was fine for them it just wasn’t for him. There were obviously people out there the felt the same way he did. Men got married and had families all the time and later had a secret affair with men.

Ricky was now finally facing the fact that “normal” was way beyond his reach. And normal was very subjective. He didn’t know what was normal for him. Or maybe he sort of did, being with Angel and the twins felt that way. That however was now also out of his reach. He picked him his niece and she hugged him. Having a child wasn’t a bad thing, even if he didn’t agree on how it happened. The one thing he was sure of was that he would love this baby and teach him or her to be open-minded. The future and his relationship with Sydney were uncertain. For tonight he was going to indulge in a little drunken bliss. If anybody needed it that was him, he needed to forget.

 

Sydney paced in the apartment; Ricky had been gone for hours. His cell phone went straight to voicemail. He never turned off his phone, especially with his sister all out of it. She really screwed up this time and he would never forgive her. What he said was true that he hadn’t been with Angel, he would never lie. This wasn’t really about Angel. That was just an excuse; she was just desperate to keep him. Her own issues and desperation and insecurities were finally what pushed him away. Now the man she loved hated her and would probably resent their child.

Angel wasn’t the only problem, other women were too. What if he wanted to explore his newly found bisexuality? She didn’t care if he wanted to have sex with men. Ricky would absolutely never have a relationship with a man. So she’d thought she was safe, no woman could take him away. Women were always checking him out but he didn’t notice. That was probably part of the appeal. Any man or woman would be so lucky to have him. So why did she need so much more? Even Angel backed off to give him space and the life he never got but deserved.

She wasn’t as dumb as everybody thought; she’d known he didn’t want a relationship with her. That wasn’t going to come in between them when she knew they were meant to be. Or they had been before she did this. He did come back to her after his thing with Angel. Now Angel would definitely be circling trying to convince him to leave. Ricky would never leave the mother of his child. Which had sort of been the point but there was no way to lie that it was an accident. Being the extra responsible man that he was he never had unprotected sex. He was the perfect man, he had values and was responsible and loving and all about family. Nobody could be a better father than Ricky.

His family was going to hate her and it was deserved. Her family was going to be upset too. They already thought it was improper that she lived with him. Not that he’d wanted to let her move in but she did. With Ricky you had to give him a little push sometimes. Nobody in her family knew about Ricky’s sexual orientation or how complicated their relationship was. Jessica knew but didn’t say anything and her sisters knew about Angel. That had been unavoidable because she’d cried so much over it. They didn’t understand why if he was such a great guy that he would cheat on her. And why she still wanted to be with him when she’d been cheated on in the past.

Everything was perfect lately, except the troubles with his family. The thing about the condoms she’d gotten mad awhile ago and that was her anger. She’d forgotten about that and had stopped taking birth control for an unrelated reason. For a few days she’d been sick and Ricky had been taking amazing care of her. Today she took a test and was shocked when she saw the results. The emotion was overwhelming and she called Ricky. She didn’t even call her sisters or family or Jessica. What would they say about her desperate act? Her parents would definitely be disgusted with her and she deserved it. She was deceitful and didn’t deserve anything but shame.

Today was the worst day of her life, much worse than finding out what he was doing in Brazil. What she dreamed was that she could plan a future with Ricky. He was it for her, the love she’d wanted all her life. That look he gave her was forever burned into her mind. It was like pure hate and he was such a loving person. When she heard the door she got up from the bed. Somehow she was going to make this up to him. However he wasn’t the one at the door, no it was Christina and Brooke.

“Where’s Ricky?” Sydney asked them trying to act like they didn’t intimidate her. They did a little and it was obvious that they knew.

“He’s at my place drunk as hell and hating his life. You are such a selfish b***h,” Christina said. This was the nice one so the rest of the family would be brutal.

“Our relationship is not your business,” she told them.

“It is when your sneaky a*s is messing with my family,” Christina replied,

“I knew you were crazy and clingy but this is low,” Brooke said.

“We love each other and I made a mistake but we will get through this,” she said. Of the three of them she wasn’t sure who believed that the least.

“You don’t love him, when you love someone you don’t calculate how to get pregnant without their knowledge. That’s called deception and if you loved him you wouldn’t deceive him. Oh and there is no way in hell that he is going to marry you. His family, which means us, will never let it happen,” Christina informed.

“The right thing to do is just give Ricky his baby once its born and stay away. What kind of mother would you be anyway? Teach your child how to ruin people’s lives? Or if it’s a girl the best way to trap a man?” Brooke asked glaring at her.

“Ricky and I will raise our child together and we are getting married. Your opinion is invalid,” she said firmly. She was a little surprised he’d told them anything, he use to only talk to her.

“You are so delusional,” Brooke said. “Do you honestly want to marry a man that doesn’t love you anymore? Is this what you want for your child? Ricky is a really good man and he does not deserve this. Why should he spend the rest of his life miserable and resenting you? He can’t forgive you, don’t you know him? Lying and deceiving like this he will never trust you again.”

“That’s not true,” she said forcing the tears back. There was no way she could let them see her cry.

“Leave him alone you dumb s**t,” Christina said.

“How can you judge me? Ricky tells me everything and that includes things about you and your husband. And you Brooke with you going behind Jay’s back like you. Neither of you are better than me and who’s to say that Ariela wasn’t your plan. At least Ricky would love his child your husband didn’t want your kid,” Sydney challenged.

“I did not get pregnant on purpose only s***s like you do that. And so what Isaiah and I aren’t perfect and I’m not ashamed of that. He loves his daughter, you know nothing. Isaiah asked me to marry him; I didn’t use my daughter to trap him. My husband loves me and I love him and I would never do anything to hurt him. This was 100% intentional and you honey are trash. Look how selfish you are, if you think you know so much then you knew better. You knew he wanted to have time to himself before he got tied down like this. He never wanted to get into a relationship with you but there you were pathetic and clingy. You never stopped to think what this would do to him or how he would feel,” Christina shot back.

“He loved you but that wasn’t good enough for you. So now you will suffer for it. I’ve known him a long time and he will never forgive you,” Brooke told her.

“Well there is no taking it back now, is there? I admit I did something drastic and wrong but weren’t you all cheering him on with Angel? What’s done is done and he will forgive me. Ricky and I are soul mates, I’m not going anywhere so get over it,” Sydney told them. Somehow she said that with more conviction than she had.

“Come on Chris, we are wasting our time she will never get it,” Brooke said.

“Get out,” Sydney said and they both stared at her.

“Be glad that you are pregnant because I would kick your a*s,” Brooke said.

“You are disgusting using him like this when he loved you. He was actually happy with you, hope those memories keep you warm at night,” Christina paused. “Oh and nobody pushed him towards Angel, he went after her. Funny how he couldn’t wait to get her alone and naked the whole trip.”

They left then leaving her there hurt and annoyed and hopeless. She shut and locked the door and went to sit. What they said was true and she knew it. This battle was going to continue on forever. His family was everything to him and they didn’t accept her. She was an awful person for what she’d done and felt out of control. This shouldn’t have happened like this. Once again in Ricky’s life someone took away his freewill. It was obvious Ricky wasn’t coming back home tonight and maybe not at all, so she made a call. Being alone right now was too much. Her sisters would always be there for her. Well until they found out the type of person she’d become.

 

Reviews

[deeps]

Something some people never want to hear. "I'm pregnant"
I like this chapter very well written and descriptive.
Wonderful imagery as well.