Allie Chapter 35

Allie( Chapter 35) Pain

Chapter 35

 

            Allie blinked open her eyes, it was hard to do that with the massive headache she had. It took a minute to remember what happened and when she did she sat up. Blood was flowing from a cut on her head but she wasn’t realty worried about herself. The front of her brand new car was completely smashed, but that wasn’t important either. Wildflower was slumped over the dash on the passenger side. Allie battled with her seat belt so she could be free to get to her very pregnant aunt. She managed to get out of it and she reached over to Wildflower, she didn’t stir at all. Since the driver’s side door was smashed too she kicked out the window and pulled herself out of the car. Dizzy and achy nothing could stop her from going around trying to open the passenger side door.

            The door actually opened, but that was the end of her luck. At least Wildflower who was definitely stuck in the car was breathing, barley, and she had a pulse. Her cell phone was still operational and in her pocket, the screen was half cracked. She frantically dialed 911 and described as best she could where they were. They told her not to try to move Wildflower and to stay calm. How was she supposed to stay calm?

This wasn’t an accident; they had been run off the road. And in this family that wasn’t even a first. Her uncle was going to kill her, even though the reason for this was because of him. He told her what he did and at the time she didn’t care. What had been important was getting Wildflower to come back. They were supposed to be a family, these were supposed to be her parents. And they did so much for her and she should have done something more.

            “It’s going to be ok,” she whispered to Wildflower. She was sitting on the ground next to the open door. Silently she begged God for the both mother and child to be ok. If ever there was a time for needing there to be a God now was the time.

            Tears came while she sat there waiting. What if they didn’t make it? After being pushed down a flight of stairs the doctors said Wildflower had to be careful. Allie closed her eyes and leaned her head against the door. She needed to call her uncle and tell him what happened. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it, how could she tell him? What could she even say? Everything was just getting back to normal.

This was her fault she was going to lose the only mother she ever had and the baby. When someone tapped her she realized she must have dosed off. A man attempted to pick her up and she freaked out, it was a fireman, there were emergency people coming down the hill.

            “No, I can’t leave her,” she told the man. She was feeling really sleepy all of a sudden.

            “We will get her out but you need to be checked out,” he said. Since she was too weak to stand or argue he picked her up and the last thing she remembered was dropping her cell phone.

 

 

Ivan was at work when he felt like something wasn’t right. It was sort like a slap to the face, came on so suddenly. Then came dizziness and he knew what it was. His sister, this was like when Daisy died. Well sort of, before it passed quickly this didn’t go away. Of course the feeling faded with Daisy, she was dead. He stumbled around trying to find his phone, work could wait. Nothing else in the world was more important right now. Wildflower did not answer her phone, which was an obvious sign. He called her ten times in a row. So he called Nicolas, right now he had to put his hate for man aside.

“Hello?” Nicolas asked, he obviously knew it was him by the way he sounded.

“Where is my sister?” He asked, the feeling was getting worse.

“Um right about now her and Allie are headed to my aunt’s house,” he said. “They should probably be there by now.”

“Something is wrong with her,” he told him.

“What’s that supposed to mean exactly?”

“It means that the last time I had a feeling like this Daisy was dead.”

“Oh the twin thing, are you sure?”

“I called her, she isn’t answering,” he said impatiently. “You need to find her, do whatever it is that you do and find her.”

He hung up the phone and tried to think. Then he called Allie’s phone, no answer. So he kept calling and still got nothing. There had to be something he could do, since his brain was fried he called Ricky. If that stupid little girl did something he would kill her. He couldn’t lose another sister. When the phone rang again and it was Nicolas he knew it was going to be bad.

 

After getting a frantic call from Ivan Nicolas called his aunt. Like Ivan said Wildflower was not there. He called his wife’s phone and Allie’s and got nothing. Then Gloria came running into his office looking very pale. She told him that a call came in about Allie’s car being in some type of accident. Time stopped and his heart stopped but she kept speaking. Hospital, she said, they were at the hospital. Now he got how Ivan was feeling. Gloria told him which hospital and said she called for a car to take him to the hospital. She walked with him to the elevator because he was in a daze. And she walked him to the car and promised to call the family.

On the way he called Ivan and told where to go. The whole way there he didn’t want to think. If he started thinking he would try to figure out how bad this could be. Maybe they were both ok and just didn’t call him yet. But then he thought what Ivan said. He couldn’t live without his wife, she was everything to him. And he tried not to think about Allie being the one that was driving. Allie was troubled and self-destructive but she would never do anything to hurt Wildflower. Or him or the baby, but then again she was suicidal. This was not the time to fall apart or think of anything like this. He knew Allie, there had to be something more to this.

Coincidently he arrived at the hospital at the same time as Ivan and Ricky. None of them said a word to each other. Nicolas asked at the nurses’ station about his wife and niece. The look on the faces of the people there said enough. They directed them to a doctor. Everything that was said next was not good at all. Allie was unconscious, had a concussion, bruised ribs and they were checking for further damage. She would recover, in time she would be fine. Wildflower however was not fine and neither was his son. There was nothing they could do for Iago. The next things he heard seemed to just melt together. Internal bleeding, hadn’t regained consciousness, complications, surgery.

Ricky was the one to take charge and drag him and Ivan to sit. Other people came, he talked to them. Nicolas just sat there, he could move or speak or anything. His son was supposed to be born in three months. They were supposed to have a family. The worst part was that he knew this was his fault. This was his punishment for the things he’d done. The one thing he wanted most in the world was taken from him because he obviously didn’t deserve to have a child. After everything in the last year and everything recently with his wife, this was how it would end? She was alive and they could have other children, but it wasn’t the same. They already loved this child.

For the most part he drowned out the world. The waiting room was packed full of family. Vaguely he listened to the doctor telling him that he could see Allie. Brooke offered to go for him but he got up. He just needed to get away from the overwhelming amount of family. Allie was at least awake, so she could tell him what happened. Someone said that Tammy went to get the kids from school, so Tony could look after her. When she saw him she cried harder, she was already crying.

“W-where is she?” Allie asked staring at him with tears streaming from her eyes. He went to her and hugged her. “Please tell me she’s ok.”

“She will be,” was all he could say. How could he even be sure of that?

“What about the baby?” The question was what made him tear up, he’d held it in before. But couldn’t right now, he just shook his head. Allie clung to him and cried twice as hard.

“Allie,” he said trying to regain his composer. “Tell me what happened?”

“Um we were heading out to go to Aunt Lusa’s house and she saw someone following us. So we were going to come home but the guy he hit us a few times. Then everything was spinning and the car rolled over. When I woke up I um kicked out the window and climbed out. And I went to her but I couldn’t wake her up or get her out. So I call 911 and I don’t remember much else,” she told him. She couldn’t speak anymore because of her crying.

“Come on Allie you have to calm down for me, ok? Do you know or did she know who was following you?” He asked, it took a few seconds but she calmed a little.

“She said it was,” she paused and closed her eyes. Then they sprung open again, but she said nothing.

“What is it?” He asked, why did she obviously not want to tell him?

“It was that stripper’s brother,” she whispered.

Nicolas took a deep breath to try to control his anger, he want to kill somebody. Mostly though he was angry at himself, this was his doing. He set things in motion for this to happen. Part of the blame was his but he was also going to make that dumb w***e and her brother regret this. It took him a moment to gather his thoughts and focus on what was important. He could not afford to fall apart now, he had to stay strong.

There was nothing he could do to bring his son back. So he couldn’t let this break him, he still had a family to care for. And it was pretty obvious that Allie was going to need a lot more love and attention and therapy. His wife he wasn’t sure about yet, but she wouldn’t take this well at all. He had to be strong and hold it together for them. They needed him, so he needed to focus on them.

Since Allie couldn’t really calm down they gave her a sedative so that she could sleep a little while. Tony and Sammie came in to sit with her while she slept. Now it was time for him to see his wife. Ivan and Ricky stood outside the room she was in but didn’t go in. Ricky told him he go see her first, Ivan said nothing and didn’t look at him. So he went in to see her, it was déjà vu, he’d done this before. Only this time they lost something. How could he tell her this? She was asleep so for a little while she could have peace because when she woke up there would be none.

*********

Ricky as always had to be the one to direct around his family. Marguerite had to be taken away because she was hysterical. Jay and Van had to take her away for Aunt Maria to deal with. The biggest task he had was to contain Ivan. Compared to that any and everything else was easy. Tammy made sure everyone ate, Gloria helped out too. Jose’s nanny was watching Ariela so that she wasn’t here. Carmen would be in soon, she got the first available flight into town.

He stood leaning against the wall outside of his sister’s room. Everyone came in and out, she was still asleep. Sydney wanted to come to be there for him, he told her not to. Angel was here, it would cause unnecessary conflict. His sister lost her child, she needed peace. And she didn’t know yet, that was the worst part. Nicolas had to tell her whenever she woke up. Ivan came out of the room; he was edgy, not good. Ricky knew his siblings well and he could sense trouble coming.

“Come outside to get air,” Ricky said to him.

Ivan said nothing but nodded and followed. Of course nothing could ever go smoothly in this family. Iris arrived and she was angry and arguing with Isaiah. The two of them absolutely never got along. From what he gathered Iris was upset that she did know what had happened. The reason for that was when Christina called her Jeff answered the phone. Jeff didn’t care about anyone but himself so he probably never said anything. Their mother apparently called her and of course Jeff lied to her. Tammy gathered the kids and took them away from argument. This was not the time or place for any of this. Without slowing his pace at all he grabbed Iris’ arm and pulled her outside. Christina would deal with Isaiah and being away from Iris would help.

“What is wrong with you?” Ricky asked her. Ivan went over and sat on a bench without saying anything.

“Something happens and nobody calls me? She is my sister too,” Iris said.

“Christina called you and your husband answered the phone, take it up with him. You act like you are not a part of this family, why? Because of him, whatever, I don’t care. But your sister just lost her baby and she got hurt very badly. Leave if you cannot behave yourself and don’t you dare say you don’t have to listen to me,” he said. She tried to stare him down and assert her so-called independence. In the end she started crying and he put his arms around her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. That was Iris; she was all talk and independence around her family. Then she went home and was pathetic and did whatever Jeff told her too.

“Go apologize and then go see your sister,” he told her. She just nodded wiped her eyes and did as she was told. It was nice when they listened. Being reminded of this type of thing was why he probably never have his own children.

“We need to get her away from him,” Ivan said when he came over.

“Who?” He asked and when he looked at him he knew. “Why?”

“Because this is his fault, I heard him tell his brother. I’m not going to lose her because of him,” Ivan said.

“What are you talking about? He would never do this to her,” he said.

“I’m not supposed to tell anybody but f**k it, she needs to leave him. He somehow drugged that chick and made her have a miscarriage. That’s what he does, he hurts and tortures people. When we were all in Brazil his brother was holding Caroline hostage in his house and locked her sisters in the basement. You don’t want to know what he did to them. There is something very wrong with these people; you can’t let her stay with him. Why is she here now? Because the stripper’s brother did this,” Ivan told him.

Ricky didn’t say anything, he could say anything. How did you reply to that? Ivan was serious; you couldn’t exactly make this type of thing up. Maybe it would be best for Wildflower to leave her husband, but she wouldn’t. Now wasn’t the time for that anyway, they just lost their child. They needed to grieve and she needed to recover. This was a time when they all needed to be together as a family. Later they could figure out how to proceed. Before he could find a reply, Brooke came out. Wildflower was awake.

 

 

Allie opened her eyes and for a moment she didn’t know where she was. Looking around the dimly lit room she saw that she wasn’t alone. Tony was there asleep in a chair and Sammie and Evan were asleep in another chair. Why were they here? She deserved to be alone after what she’d done. Sleeping hadn’t really helped her, she just got to relive it over and over again. Now that she was conscious she could feel the pain, she hurt everywhere. Moving was not an option, somehow her groan woke up Tony. Yawning and blinking he got up and sat in a chair next to her bed.

“Are you feeling ok?” Tony asked her.

“No,” she said and could feel more tears coming.

“Do you want me to get a nurse?” He asked, he looked at her all concerned but she didn’t deserve it.

“No, I should be in pain,” she whispered and he stared.

“What? They will give you something for the pain.”

“I don’t care about the pain, I deserve worse.”

“What are you talking about? Allie you’re sounding a little crazy.”

“It’s my fault that this happened, the baby is gone because of me.”

“How is it your fault? Someone attacked you,” he said in a gentle tone. “Everything will be ok, you being in pain and blaming yourself doesn’t help.”

“What did she say when she found out about the baby?” She asked him and he looked away.

“My sister isn’t doing very well, she is very upset as you can imagine. Nobody blames you for this,” he told her.

She cried and cried and he tried to calm her down but it was no use. Sammie and Evan woke up and everything got a little hazy. A nurse came in and drugged her into submission. Allie laid there in a daze; vaguely she was aware of other people in the room. She didn’t feel anything anymore, didn’t really hear anything either. But it wasn’t drugs, she just felt numb. It was a feeling she’d felt before when she wanted to forget everything. No more feelings or thinking just nothingness.

 

 

Wildflower was alone in her bed; it had been a few days since she came home. She couldn’t bring herself to get out of bed today. The past few days were a blur, she didn’t remember most of it. Not that it really mattered, right now nothing did. All she felt was nothing, hollow and emptiness. She stared across the room at the doors to the nursery. There would be no baby in that nursery. He was gone and thinking of him made her want to cry. But she couldn’t even cry anymore tears for him. She was all cried out. This was about a thousand times worse than when Daisy died.

With Daisy she had 18 years of being together, she would never have time with her son. No birth no life, just death. There was nothing left of him, not trace of life he left. He was just gone and she could never bring him back. Worse yet was that she would probably never have children of her own. That was what they said, between the accident and the surgery there was damage. She was supposed to go back to see her doctor to see about all this. With the loss of her son she lost everything else too.

She felt nothing and barely spoke to anyone or left the bed. Her family had been taking turns sitting with her since she came home. The only reason she was alone now was that they thought she was asleep. It was sad when you had to pretend to be sleep just to be alone. Everybody looked at her like they did when Daisy died. Like she was going to just fall to pieces any moment. How could she fall apart? There was nothing left of her to fall apart. Everything left in her died with her son.

The door opened, it was Ivan, he came in silently and closed the door. He came over to the bed and wrapped himself around her. Of course he knew there were no words that could make this any better. When he came in he never said a word, he would just get in bed with her. This was what she needed, silence, nobody else got that. They would try to engage her in conversation but what could she say? What could anybody say? Nothing, so Ivan said nothing.

At the moment most of her family was living here. They all worked together to take care of her. She didn’t want to be taken care of, that was the last thing she wanted. What she wanted was to have just died with her son. How could she go through this again? How could she keep losing people like this? And it was just like Daisy, in a car. Why was she still here when her sister was gone? Why had she survived when her son had not? Just three months and he would have been born and she would have done anything for him. Why couldn’t he have lived instead? Her family would have loved and cared for him.

She started to doze off, not minding being with Ivan. His presence was calming, which she couldn’t say about most of her guardians. Carmen had basically moved in leaving Camden to watch her kids. Wildflower didn’t think it was all that necessary. Neither were the prescriptions the doctors wrote for her. So many unnecessary things, but she just said nothing. She didn’t need pills to take her pain away; nothing could take this pain away. What was she supposed to be drugged into feeling nothing? Something? Right about now she felt less than nothing. How could she feel when she lost everything?

What woke her up was the door opening and closing. Usually everybody was careful to be quiet in case she was asleep. That was everybody and this was her mother. Ivan must have fallen asleep too because he sat up and shook his head. Everybody did their best to keep her mother away from her. Marguerite needed strong meds because everything she said made things worse. If she said one more thing about how she understood because she lost a daughter too. Daisy was 18 at least she got to know her. Iago was gone and Wildflower would never hold him or kiss him or tuck him in at night. She would never take him to school for his first day. There were pictures of Daisy, there would never be pictures of Iago. And as far as she was concerned sonogram pictures were not enough.

“Mother, you should leave,” Ivan said. It was good to have him there to speak for her, he knew what she needed.

“No, I can see my daughter if I want to,” Marguerite said. And so it began, all she really did was pick fights with everybody.

“Just leave, she doesn’t want to see you,” he told her.

“Wildflower, honey, you should get out of bed and out of this room,” their mother pushed. “It’s not good for you to be laying there all day. Having children is a little overrated you might find that you are happier without.”

“Are you out of your f*****g mind?” Ivan asked, he pissed and it was obvious. “Why would you say that to her?” He was up off the bed and he shoved her into the hallway. “I swear you better not come near her again, you were never a mother so deal with it. She is hurting and all you do is make it worse. I stopped caring what happens to you a long time ago, but I love her. And I will not let you upset her.”

“Ivan, how can you say that? I’m trying to help, this isn’t healthy,” she said.

            “Go to Hell,” he said and shut the door. “I’m sorry she woke you up.”

            “I’m tired,” Wildflower replied and he nodded. He got back in bed with her, it was easiest to fall asleep when she was with him. She closed her eyes and prayed for a dreamless sleep.

 

            Nicolas was in his office having a moment to himself. Two weeks, it had been two weeks since the incident. He couldn’t exactly call it an accident when it was intentional. His aunts kept calling, they wanted to visit so did Kati, Persephone, Carlynn and Tara. There were no visitors allowed, just very close family. Cousins, aunts and friends didn’t really could. It wasn’t like he really wanted all the people that were in his house there either. Which he had no choice in, the Laiez family set up camp and weren’t going to leave. On one hand they were helpful and it was good that they were there. But he wanted to get alone time with his wife. It was selfish but he wanted to be the one she leaned on right now.

            This would be his 3^rd drink today that he was having now. Though he knew he shouldn’t be drinking he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t leaving the house anyway. Catching up on work was a small distraction. Seeing his wife this way, lost, empty, depressed and borderline catatonic was very very hard. She barely spoke, wouldn’t eat and wouldn’t leave the bed. It was hard and he couldn’t fall apart like that, he had to stay strong. Even if staying strong was killing him. His wife needed him and so did Allie.

            Having his wife like this was bad enough but Allie wasn’t much better. The only way to keep Allie calm and not freaking out and destroying the house, was to drug her. She was having nightmares, violent outbursts and had to be watched 24hrs of the day. Sometimes she just curled up in a corner and wouldn’t move for a whole day. Basically his house was an insane asylum. They got to show their feels and he could not, it was getting harder to hold it all in. Seeing them both so tormented was killing him. And he was completely helpless because he had no idea what to do or how to fix this. No doctor or psychiatrist or therapist could tell him how to make it better.

            With Allie it was the worse because she’d already had serious problems and had been on the verge of another breakdown. Now the girl was broken completely into pieces too small to pick up. She blamed herself for the baby and no matter what about said she wouldn’t believe otherwise. If things didn’t change with her soon, he was going to have to send her into the hospital. That was what all the medical professionals advised but he couldn’t do it. Family was what she needed not strangers with medication and no understanding of who she was. She needed time, everybody needed time.

            He hadn’t been to work at all and was only pretending to care now to clear his head. His son was gone and he would never know him or see him. Last week they sort of had a little memorial for him. That didn’t give him his wife or Allie closure. Nothing could give them closure, nothing could fix this. Hanging on to his anger was what was truly keeping him from falling into complete darkness. If he stayed anger he couldn’t feel hopeless and alone. So many people in the house yet he felt like he was alone on an island. And who should come into his office right now? Carmen his sister with absolutely no boundaries, she was annoying him.

            “Katrina stopped by again, don’t worry nobody let her in to see your daughter,” Carmen informed. She sat down across from him and finished off his drink.

            “She wants to be a mother after her daughter was adopted by somebody else, classic Katrina,” he sighed. Markus had been by too but just mentioning him or Katrina would set her off.

            “So Nicky, how are you feeling? We’ve all been focusing on your girls, what about you? How can you still function?” She asked, she was slightly less annoying than their mother. Rosa and Katrina came to town once they heard what happened, but he wouldn’t let them stay. There were enough people and their presence would cause trouble.

            “What do I feel? Pissed and murderous and guilty and I don’t know I feel a pain too strong to find words to explain. Talking about it doesn’t help me any, action helps. But I am torn between getting revenge and hurting my wife worse. This is how I got my son killed,” he said. His sister wanted honesty so he gave it to her.

            “I’ll commit murder for you,” Carmen replied. “You can’t keep this all in Nicky; you will go crazy and blow up sooner or later. It’s ok to grieve little brother, it’s healthy. When my Anna-Maria was gone I couldn’t get out of bed. Buy who was there with me to help me and to never stop searching for her? You were and I know it’s not the same at all, but it still hurt like hell. I know you want to stay strong for them but you have to take care of you too. And we might have to all accept that Allie may be beyond help.”

            “She isn’t,” he said. The rest of what she said though true wasn’t something he could reply to.

            “We all love her and understand that she’s got a lot of issues and just got over the thanksgiving incident. The girl is suicidal Nicolas; you don’t want that on your conscience. Sending her away might help and they could figure out what to do. So far nobody can do anything long term for her. And I know you’ve always felt guilty about not being able to protect her. But just think about it,” she told him.

            “Would you have me send my wife away too?” He asked and she sighed.

            “She will bounce back in time, but she lost her first child. Then for them to say she can’t have others. God, I don’t know how you can keep going. You are a strong person than anyone I’ve ever known,” she said. She then got up and came over to hug him. “We are all here for you too Nicky.”

            “Thanks,” he said no sense in arguing with her. It was just too much effort and the more she spoke the harder he had to hold on. Basically he deemed it completely unacceptable to fall apart. Because he couldn’t get a break his mother came in giving him that look.

            “Nicky are you alright? Oh honey, I wish I could do something to make you feel better,” his mother said. And she came over to throw herself on him and hug him to death. He was starting to hate hugging. “Maybe if you didn’t have so much stress to deal with around here. All these people here aren’t good for you.”

            “Like it or not mother this is our family now,” he said.

            “It’s not a permanent thing; we have to be realistic here. You are the only one without children and I know you are grieving the loss of your son. But if your wife can’t give you heirs then what’s the point? That was the only good thing about her, you have to have children And don’t you dare say that adopting Katrina’s daughter means you have an heir. You are the most important person in this family and you barely know this girl. It is time to quit playing games and focus on what’s best for your future,” she said.

            “I cannot believe you just said that!” Carmen yelled. “Are you stupid? Mother, he would never divorce his wife over this. It is a horrible tragedy and you need to go, now.”

            “Carmen, how dare you speak to me like this! We need to really think about the future, what good is she now?” Rosa just never knew when to quit or how to be human. No wonder him and his siblings were so screwed up, their parents were certifiable.

            “Don’t come back into my house, Mother,” he said. He got up and left the room. Lately running was taking a bit of the edge off, good thing there was a lot of space here.

 

            Hours later Nicolas was in the bath tub with his wife. She laid against his body and there was silence between them. There was so much he wanted to say and he wanted to talk about. But he learned quickly that talking irritated her. So all he told her was that they were taking a bath. Then he picked her up, took her into the bathroom and undressed her. He didn’t mind taking care of her, but he would have prefer asserting her

independence. If she could fight him and tell him she was no baby and could take care of herself, it would be amazing. She hadn’t said a word to him in three days so pretty much it wasn’t going to happen. Her physical scars were healing but the emotional ones weren’t.

            When she looked at him and told him she didn’t need to be bothered by a therapist or psychiatrist, he listened. That hollow dead look in her eyes scared him. She was light and happiness, his angel, but none of that showed now. Wasn’t this a good reason for revenge? Looking at her drift away and become a person he didn’t know, was good enough. But revenge was what got her hurt, their son lost and Allie out of her mind. Why couldn’t he have been punished instead? Not the ones he loved, he would have died for them if it meant none of this happened. He kissed the top of her head trying to hold on tight to reality.

            His wife and daughter needed him he had to stay levelheaded. He could not let himself fall, it was unacceptable. Talking himself down did not stop a tear from coming to his eye. Since when was he the type to cry? Oh right since he had everything to lose. Allie shouldn’t have ever gotten to this point and he should have acted sooner. He was selfish, he’d been so focused on work and his own loneliness that he didn’t realized how much she needed him. After his grandmother died he didn’t think he could do much of anything. Now he was trying so hard but it was too much and too hard. It wasn’t fair, nothing was ever fair.

            Sitting here in the quiet had his mind going into hyper drive. So many things he’d done and now he had to pay. Oh and here it came, tears. He was not a man that cried unless it was very serious. Nothing was more serious than this. Holding it in for two weeks was a miracle. Wildflower turned to stare at him; she got up on her knees and watched him. The look in her eyes was like she was staring at a stranger. Staring at her and crying was distracting enough that he didn’t see it coming. She slapped him across his face so hard it would definitely leave a mark.

            “This is your fault, my baby is gone because of you,” she said.        

            “I know,” he replied.

            “I’m tired Nick, I can’t do this,” she said with tears in her eyes. Slowly he pulled her against him.

            “We can figure it out and if you need to hate me it’s ok,” he told her.

            “I never thought I would want kids and then I knew what you wanted. That day on the beach with you and Joseph and Ariela, I wanted us to have children so bad. Now it will never happen,” she said. Her face was against his neck as she sniffled and cried.

            “Nothing is impossible, we have options, there are always options,” he assured her. Wasn’t this tragic? They were in a bathtub crying and clinging to each other trying to keep their heads above water. Together they would move forward and try to start over. Right about now it was all they could really do.

Reviews

[deeps]

A very well written and impacted chapter. so much detail and awesome imagery. I enjoyed this chapter alot. There's a lot here.