Allie Chapter 21

Allie (Chapter 21) Past

Chapter 21

 

            Nicolas was working late mostly because he often wasn’t at work anymore. His wife called to say that his cousins kidnapped her for dinner. Ever since he met her his office attendance had gone down even more so recently. It wasn’t like he was required to be in the office most of the time. He could run things from home as he’d been doing a lot lately. Just like his wife hated to be stuck in the house he did too. But if it was for a good reason he would suffer in silence. Keeping his wife from being depressed and his niece from killing herself was a good enough reason to stay home. Now he would be working long distance from Brazil but he needed a vacation. All of next week he was going to attempt not to work but it

            “Why are you still here?” Jose asked when he came in.

            “Getting work done because I’m leaving on Monday,” he replied.

            “Your wife is letting you work late?” Jose asked lying down on the couch.

            “She’s not home, she is having dinner with some cousins,” he said.

            “As in our cousins?” Jose asked and he nodded. “You let her hang out with our relatives? Why?”

            “Just Carlynn, Persephone and Kati, they can’t do much damage,” he shrugged.

            “So you didn’t tell me what you’re having.”

            “Boy, I’ve been busy.”

            “Yeah housing one of D’s harem, how’s that going?”

            “All she does is talk about her obsession with Ricky.”

            “How does he go from being gay to having two women obsessed with him?” Jose laughed, it was an odd situation.

            “No idea, it’s not my business I have enough to deal with. I need to focus on getting my wife on a plane,” he sighed.

            “I thought she was dying to go to Brazil?”

            “Was, this thing with Allie had her hesitating.”

            He wanted nothing more than to help the wayward teen, but he wanted to be alone with his wife. It was selfish, but she was the selfless one not him. Just a few days not even a whole week. If he was honest with himself he wasn’t just annoyed with her reluctance because he understood that. That conversation he’d had with his wife yesterday refused to leave his mind. On some mature level he accepted that she’d been with other men before him. But there was a look on her face when she confessed her sexual exploits. Like maybe she missed being young and free. He thought about that a lot, she was 23 and had been taking care of kids her whole life. Because of him she was married when she obviously didn’t want to be. And she was pregnant because he wanted a child.

            His life never was about fun, it was about order, strategy and business. Eventually all those nights alone made him want a family of his own. The he saw her and did what it took to get what he wanted. What he wanted was starting to take a toll on her and he saw it more everyday. If he was an unselfish person then he would let her go, it was only going to get worse. Yesterday she was happy and she lit up talking about their son. Why couldn’t it be like that all the time? She was happy when they were away before so he hoped that it could be like that again. The odds weren’t exactly in his favor with her sudden depression. Which was his fault, all of this was his fault. The guilt of it was a little much for him. What was he supposed to do?

            When he started to say something to his brother about it he stopped. This wasn’t something to share. Nicolas spent his life trying not to fail and at everything else he didn’t. With his wife most of the time he felt like a failure, it wasn’t something he was use to. Showing weakness for him was unacceptable; he’d already done that when she was in the hospital. Worried over her he hadn’t cared, at the time but now he had time to think. Not that thinking was necessarily good, he did tend to overanalyze sometimes. Was it really so selfish to want a wife and children? Maybe not, but pushing her into all this was wrong. His head hurt from thinking about all this. If he couldn’t fix this in their time alone then he was going to need to figure out a new strategy.

            “Did you pick a name for the baby?” Jose asked him, his brother was trying to read him but he was guarded.

            “Yeah um Iago,” he said. The name he liked because it was different and it stood out. His son would stand out he would never be average or ordinary.

            “Iago? Where the hell did that come from?”

            “We wanted something different and not my name,” he shrugged.

            “Could be worse, speaking odd names have you talked to your brother?”

            “No, but he’s staying in the house so out of trouble I suppose.”

            “Think he is waiting for the old man to decide what to do with him?”

            “Most likely, therefore we don’t have to bother.”

            “Would it be wrong to want a vacation from my wife?”

            “You’ve been married what two weeks?”

            “She thinks I’m going to cheat on her because she can’t leave me. I didn’t ask her to sign anything but she agreed to the terms. I don’t know, I’m jealous of you even with the house over run with teenage drama at least your wife isn’t crazy,” Jose sighed.

            “It will get better, though I have not been married long either,” Nicolas said. He hoped his own marriage would get better soon. If not he wasn’t sure what he would do but losing his wife and son was not an option.

 

 

            Angel knocked on the door and waited impatiently. She couldn’t find patience because she’d been waiting her whole life. When the love of your life told you he was gay that pretty much ruined your future plans. But she knew he was serious when he told her that, he would never lie. That was how his father raised him honesty and family was most important. Not having a father growing up she sort of liked to be near his. She admired Vance and she had wanted to be his daughter. Once upon a time she was more than a woman that had sex with a made she despised for money. One thing she never was happened to be a good mother and the reason Ricky was still mad at her. Jordan too, she’d made Sammie cry and that was unacceptable.

            When he came to the door he was wet, obviously having come from the shower. He looked good this way; she was desperate for him and his amazing body. This was the man she loved her whole life and she sort understood when they broke up. Now she didn’t anymore, there had been something keeping them apart something they couldn’t change. So if it was different now why were they still apart? And how on earth had that little witch fix him when she couldn’t? She’d tried so hard and made a fool out of herself. Not anymore, she needed to see him alone.

            “Angel, we already talked,” he said.

            “Oh no we didn’t,” she said and walked in.

            “We broke up a long time ago,” he said.

            “If you tell me that you feel nothing for me then I will leave you alone with that halfwit you’re shacking up with,” she replied.

            It was a gamble but she was sure of herself. No matter how many times she screwed up he was always there for her. When he’d told her last year that he was done with her it killed her. The kids were what usually set him off. If he didn’t care about her he wouldn’t love her kids so much. Ricky tried hard not to lose his temper when he did it was really bad. But she believed if he never broke up with her in the first place they would have been fine eventually. Wasn’t she stupid and willing to wait around for him? She was stupid and got pregnant and dropped out of school. If she hadn’t been so upset over him she would never have ended up with Delanoz.

            “Angel, I can’t do this with you, ok? Let it go,” he said.

            “Deny it then, deny that you love me and I will,” she said. She watched him and he sat in a chair sighing heavily. Lying went against his beliefs and he couldn’t do it.

            “You know very well that I can’t, but that doesn’t change anything,” he told her.

            “I know that you love me and you always have. And I know I really screwed up with the kids but I’m trying. Sammie agreed to maybe possibly stay with me on the weekend. That’s a big step up from when she told me she could never live with me again. So how long will it take for you to be done with this girl?” She asked, she sat down on the couch and waited for his reply.

            “What you think this is a game or something? Sydney has nothing to do with my past with you,” he said.

            “Sydney is your miracle worker? She magically cured you?” Angel asked, she wanted so much to kiss him and she wanted more.

            “Not at all,” he said sounding a bit bitter.

            “Does it not matter that I have loved you since the day we met?” She asked, he got up and came to sit beside her.

            “It matters but we can’t be together I am in a relationship,” he said. But he took her hand when he said it. “I’ll always love you Angel, love was never our problem.”

            “If you can have sex with her then why not me? Was the real problem just me?” She asked trying really hard not to cry over this, again.

            “Not you, it was never you, I don’t know what happened and I have no idea how I got to where I am. And I shouldn’t say this but I thought about you,” he said. He kissed her knuckles and looked her in the eyes. “But it isn’t fair to Syd, she’s put up with a lot. You have too but we haven’t agreed on a lot of things for a long time.”

            “Kiss me and tell me what you feel and if it’s stronger than what you feel for her,” she said.

            Ricky kissed her and it was like before, when they were young and completely in love. Even after they broke up and he was “gay” they still kissed and she slept in bed with him. It was hard to be in love with someone that couldn’t be with her sexually. The whole thing took a toll on them both, and she acted out badly. She just loved him so much and between his father dying and the stress in his life and accepting the possibility he was gay things changed. At first they could have sex; he was the first guy she had sex with. Then one day he couldn’t anymore and he was ashamed. It said a lot about how she felt about him that she still loved him and stuck around. Kissing him again was like coming home after being away for a very long time.

The door slamming loudly made them break apart. Sydney stood there looking pissed and shocked. From what Angel heard they had an open relationship so it wasn’t like honest Ricky was cheating. But she knew he would feel guilty and she got what she came for. She couldn’t get him back with sex, Ricky was different. For him to leave the Sydney for her she had to prove herself worthy of him again. That would take time and what was a few months when she’d been waiting almost 27 years? So before anybody could say anything she kissed Ricky again quick and got up.

I love you too Ricardo,” Angel said smiling. “Have your fun with your play thing now because we all know who you were meant to be with. And when my kids come home we can be a family again.” At the door she waved, he shook his head and the temporary girlfriend glared at her. It wasn’t like she wasn’t use to being hated.

 

 

Christina woke up in the middle of the night again and went into her daughter’s room. Ever since that trip to see her great-grandmother she had been edgy. And she was pretty certain her father had driven by her house twice since she’d been home. When she found him with Ariela she didn’t know what he might do. Cole showed up right after her, he’d just left to get Ariela a drink. The two of them argued and it got close to being physical. If other people hadn’t been there to break them up it would have been so much worse. Isaiah hadn’t been happy about the situation but since Christina had been upset he stayed with her and Ariela. That trip ended in a big mess and she had been happy to come home, even without her brother.

Once she was home she started having nightmares about her father kidnapping Ariela. It just seemed like something he might do. Megan had been leaving her messages saying that their father was very angry and borderline dangerous. Mostly it was the thing with Cole; those two could not be near each other without problems. Cole stayed behind to help out and stay away from their father. Last week she thought she saw her father near Ariela’s daycare. That could have been paranoia but he did ride pass their house twice that she knew of. It was sad when you had to worry about if your father was going to kidnap your child. Cole had explained to her that the reason he was desperate for money was because he was a gambler. There were a lot of things she never knew about her family.

Ariela was peacefully sleeping in her bed oblivious to what was going on around her. Wildflower had suggested that maybe they should stay at the mansion a few days. Now she was starting to consider it, she did not trust her father. Her daughter was innocent and it wasn’t fair for her to be dragged into something crazy. She didn’t understand how she got dragged into something that had nothing to do with her. But Cole said that their father was desperate and wed a lot of money to bad people. Even if Christina and Isaiah didn’t have much money, Nicolas did. And they were family and if something happened to Ariela he would pay to get her back. The only reason her father could think of that as a plan was because he knew she was close to Isaiah’s family. So naturally his sister’s rich husband would be helpful. This was frustrating and she couldn’t sleep anymore. Her daughter was her life and she was scared.

“Come back to bed,” Isaiah told her. He was behind her and startled her a bit.

“I’m terrified that he will hurt her,” she replied.

“I’m not going to let anything happen,” he told her.

“I know,” she sighed. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek.

“You want to bring her to sleep with us again, huh?” He asked and she nodded, he knew her so well. “Go ahead, I’ll get her.”

“Thank you,” she said and went back to their bedroom. In the morning she was going to talk to him about spending a week at the mansion before going to Brazil. Tonight she needed to try to get some sleep and calm down.

 

 

Wildflower was in her closet trying to pack for her trip. She wasn’t so big that her clothes no longer fit, but she was getting there. Last night was good for her, going out and actually having fun. Hopefully this trip would be fun and relaxing no worries. Tonight she was going out again but with her brothers this time. Brooke decided that they should do things they use to and that might help her. She hadn’t wanted to worry her brothers so she tried not to tell them about the depression thing. That was hard when three of them lived in her house and Ricky and Ivan knew and Brooke couldn’t not tell Jay something. And she figured because Brooke told Christina that Isaiah knew too, there was no such thing as privacy.

Since this was her family they were trying to be helpful and she appreciated it. She also missed the days where she could go out and not worry about anything. Now she sort of regretted stopping doing things after Daisy died. Pregnant she couldn’t do much of anything. Thinking about that was just going to lead her down the road of getting upset and she couldn’t let that happen. She needed to be in control of her own life and her emotions. All she had to do was focus and stay on track.

“Still packing?” Nicolas asked when he came into the closet. It was a pretty big closet; a person could sleep in there.

“That and figuring out what I’m wearing tonight,” she replied. “Are you going to come hang out? Or will you be a buzz kill and tell me to stay home?”

“I’ll be there but a little late, I was coming to tell you I have a meeting,” he said calmly. They both knew he didn’t want her out of the house at least he had the decency not to say it.

“Why do you have a meeting on a Saturday in the evening?” She asked turning to look at him.

“Because I will be gone for three weeks with my beautiful wife,” he replied. He stepped over a suitcase to come kiss her.

“Are you going to pack anything?” She asked and he shrugged.

“Tomorrow I’ll do it, but you won’t need any clothes for the first week,” he said.

“Are you going to hold my suitcases hostage?” She asked with a laugh and he nodded. This was what she needed playful fun, nothing serious.

“There is a chance of that,” he said. “So where are we going tonight?”

“The bar where we met, they want to play pool. Brooke thought it would be cute for us to go back to the place we met. We are all married and pregnant now,” she told him.

“Indeed we are,” he said reached down to rub her belly. “How is my baby?”

“Fine, he really wants us to take him to the beach,” she said and he laughed.

“Couple more days and he will have his wish. Did you tell your mother we’re having a boy?”

“Yes, of course she doesn’t approve of his name but I don’t care. As long as we like his name nobody else’s opinion matters.”

“Good, I did have a conversation with my mother today I mentioned him. She was a little theatrical.”

“Are you excited? Just a few more months and you get to live you dream,” she said. And she didn’t miss the uneasy look on his face.

“Of course, everything I ever wanted I have in you,” he said. Was it her paranoia mixed with hormones and crazy that had her seeing his odd expression?

“Something wrong?” She asked him trying not to be emotional over something that could be nothing.

“No, just thinking don’t worry baby, I am happy. Just still in shock and we still have a lot to do to get ready. When we come back we can get started on a nursery. Guess I don’t need to pay anyone to paint, we can put the boys to good use,” he said. The expression faded and he kissed her. Maybe she was worried over nothing?

 

Going to the bar and being pregnant wasn’t something she ever thought she would do. But getting out of the house was mandatory. Laughing and having fun with her brothers, Brooke and Christina was nice. It was like how things use to be and she could pretend nothing changed. Except that she should have known better than to come to this particular bar because Eric worked there. It seemed like every time she mentioned an ex-whatever the guy appeared. Only technically this was her fault for coming here. She hadn’t been here since her birthday and should have known. Plus Brooke was a meddler and liked to mess with her. Since she wasn’t looking for drama, she did not go talk to him. He wasn’t working just hanging out; too bad her brothers invited him over.

“You’re avoiding me,” Eric whispered in her ear.

“No, it’s definitely your imagination,” she replied.

“I was going to ask what you’ve been up to but that’s obvious,” he said. “It’s been a long time, but I never expected to see you pregnant.”

“Yeah you know that type of thing does occur,” she shrugged. There was no way he’d want her anymore she was pregnant.

“Let’s see you’re married too right? Where’s your husband too good to hang around here?” He asked, he always was a little nosey.

“He’ll be here,” she said.

“Can we go talk? I want to say something to you but I doubt you’d want your brothers to hear,” he said. Before she could answer he held his hand out and pulled her away to sit.

“What did you want to talk about?” She asked him slightly curious.

“The guy you met the last time you were here is the one you married, huh?” He asked and she nodded. “I’m happy for you, I was a little jealous at first though. Wasn’t like we were together, right? Guess I didn’t liquor you up enough that night.”

“Oh I was drunk that’s how I met my husband, wonderful story to tell my son.”

“You’re having a boy? Figures, this guy got other kids?”

“Nope no kids never married a job car and house, perfect man,” she said and he laughed.

“That’s why we were never together, your standards are way too high,” he said and she laughed.

“My standards must not be too high if I slept with you,” she replied.

“I should be offended but hey if you’re happy that’s good. You are happy right? I heard about you getting hurt,” he said suddenly serious.

“Don’t remind me, I’m good we’re going to Brazil on Monday,” she said not wanting to talk about what happened.

“You know you have bad taste in men right? That Owen guy and definitely me, guess this new guy must be the one if he’s taking you on your dream vacation.”

“Don’t go fishing for compliments honey, you were not bad and yes Owen was a psycho. This is exactly why I didn’t ever date what was the point? Though as you see as soon as I tried I ended up married. So enough about my past almost relationship mess, what have you been up to?”

“Just working a lot, I thought maybe I would do something with my life. I started at a technical school awhile back so I’m in school all day and work at night.”

“Wow you actually sound grown up,” she joked.

“I’m trying,” he paused. “It’s funny that I should see you, I was just talking about you actually. Remember Ryan?”

“Oh God what were you talking about?” She asked was this a coincidence or was this fate? At this point she wasn’t sure anymore, every time she thought of a guy from the past there was a chance meeting. Though this one could have been Brooke’s doing for some unknown reason.

“I think you know what we were talking about,” he winked at her.

“Either this is a huge coincidence or you’re stalking me because I was talking about that thing that happened yesterday,” she said.

“Don’t tell me your husband knows about that? I’m assuming your brothers don’t because I’m still breathing. You were their precious innocent baby back them,” he laughed.

“If I remember correctly you talked me into it, but yes he knows. Does not know names but he knows. It’s not a big deal it was once and forever ago, why were you talking about that anyway?”

“Ever since that night he had a crush on you, but thought you and I would be together. Anyway when is this husband getting here? I’m curious,” he said.

“Why are you so curious?” She asked afraid she knew the answer.

“Uh I don’t know you ditched me for some guy you didn’t know? I’m not bitter I swear, but I was going to ask you to lower your standards for me that night,” he said. He didn’t look at her when he said that. Why was it after she was with someone else that guys from her past suddenly wanted her?

“Seriously? If that was what you wanted how come you never told me?” She asked carefully, he really didn’t look all that upset about it.

“Cowardice? I don’t know don’t worry about it, we’ve both moved on and you more so than me,” he said. He patted her belly.

“Are you going to stalk me now?” She asked playfully.

“Sorry I never wanted you that much, besides it would never have worked with us anyway. We only worked because it wasn’t serious and obviously your husband is a serious type of guy. I’m not pining for you but we use to be friends and I miss that, even without the sex,” he told her.

“Be my friend then, sadly we can not drink together anymore,” she sighed.

“Now we can hang out and buy baby clothes,” he laughed and so did she.

“Speaking of children how is Johnny?” She asked referring to his son.

“Good, he’s 4 now you know he likes school a lot,” he shrugged.

There were a lot of reasons she was never with Eric for real, her brothers were not the only one. Though they were a big reason, if they would have found out they would have killed him. In their Neanderthal minds you friends never dated your sister. Even though Jay who had been friends with Eric first was currently with her best friend, they were backwards like that. But Eric had a child and she was a little against dating a guy with any children, it was too complicated. Well in the past she was mostly just against dating in general. Some times she wondered how she ended up so serious so fast with Nicolas when she could never be with anybody else. If she’d have ever been serious with anyone else it would have been Eric. Everything was completely different now because of one small decision. It was funny how life could work like that. Talking to Eric again was nice; she missed having friends that weren’t her family.

Eric made her laugh and forget about her stress and depression, even if it was just a few minutes. If she wanted to be friends with him again she could never tell her husband that they had sex. It would cause unnecessary conflict and tension and then her brothers would find out. But she hated keeping secrets even if it was for the good of the people she loved. Her husband was a jealous person and she couldn’t fight with him right now or she would completely lose her mind. If she was honest with herself she missed Eric but how could you not miss someone you knew most of her life? Being friends with him was fine he wasn’t the type of person that went after a married woman. This decision wasn’t really hard for her, she needed fun in her life.

Eventually her and Eric rejoined the others and Brooke gave her a suspicious look but there was no need for it. She would never cheat on her husband or anything. Which of course Brooke knew but she liked to stir things up. Or maybe her friend knew she needed to focus on less serious things and have fun for once. It was when she was leaning against the wall and Eric was playing with her phone that she saw him. When he caught her eye he turned and left back through the door. She was pretty sure no one else noticed so she went out to find him without telling anyone. Tonight was supposed to be fun and no drama, she got that ever.

“Nick,” she called when she found him outside.

“I’ll see you at home,” he said without turning.

“Stop, can you talk to me?” She asked and he did.

“I have a lot of work to do,” he said.

“You were supposed to come spend time with me,” she said.

“You looked busy,” he replied.

“So I’m not allowed to talk to other people? This is crazy I shouldn’t have to explain myself to you. Before I met you I had friends most of those friends were men. It shouldn’t be surprising since I have 9 brothers, but that’s just a fact,” she said a little annoyed.

“I’m trying not to ruin your night,” he said. He came closer to her and kissed her forehead. “I thought it best not to cause a problem.”

“There is nothing to worry about stop being jealous. Do you honestly think I would cheat on you?” She asked because she felt maybe he did.

“No, but I’m not making you happy am I? I’m trying really but you were with that guy and I didn’t want to upset you,” he said.

“Stop being jealous, he was friend and he knew all about you. Not in a stalker Owen way, but in a friendly I haven’t seen you in almost a year type of way. Just because I was talking to someone doesn’t mean I would leave you or anything,” she told him.

“You just looked happy, more do than you’ve been lately and I just didn’t want to ruin it. I’m just not use to this and I will adjust,” he said.

“I’m getting tired so we should just go home; I still have to finish packing,” she said. Truthfully she was tired physically and mentally, sleep would hopefully help.

“No, its ok go have fun and I’ll see you when you get home,” he said looking guilty. His controlling nature wasn’t going to go away over night and he was never going to stop worrying, she knew that.

“It’s been a long day I’m tired,” she assured him. “Just bring your car around front and I’ll go say good-bye.”

“Are you sure?” He asked and she knew he was a little relived.

“Yes, we need to be packed so I can lay down and you can pack for me,” she said. She kissed him quick before walking away.

“Everything ok?” Eric asked, he was waiting for her out front with Brooke.

“Yeah, I’m just going to head home I’m tired,” she told him.

“Are you sure that’s the reason?” Brooke asked her.

“I have to pack too and like a million other things,” she said dismissively. Yes there were a lot of things she needed to do before leaving so it wasn’t a lie.

“Here’s your phone,” Eric said handing it to her.

“Thank you, can you tell everybody I’m sorry? I just need to go home,” she said.

“Guess I’ll meet the husband next time?” He asked and she nodded. “Bye,” he hugged her and went back inside.

“When you told Nicky that you had your 3-way lovin, you didn’t mention that Eric was your first, huh?” Brooke asked when they were alone.

“I told you I didn’t use names, he’s never asked about my first time and I’m not telling. He and I are not digging up the past; he just saw me with a guy and left so as not to upset me. I really am tired and I really have to finish packing unless between you and him it’s done for me, she paused. “Right now is a bad time he’s thinking I want to leave him and I don’t.”

“I’m not going to say anything but at least he’s making progress if he could walk away and not kill anybody,” Brooke said. “Though he doesn’t know he should worry.”

“You set me up w***e, I know you what did you think would happen?”

“I like Nick, not because he pays me but he loves you. And I know you love him and I was apart of pushing you towards him. But you’ve been miserable after you mentioned Eric I thought maybe you would like to see him. So I called him, I confess I thought he could cheer you up in a completely non-sexual way. It worked and yes it was a huge risk since Nicky is crazy but you never smile for real anymore,” Brooke admitted.

“I love Brooke and I know you meant well but try not to interfere next time,” she sighed. That was like telling a dog not to bark or a cow not to moo, it was Brooke’s nature.

“Can I point out that Jay didn’t freak out when I told him I had sex with Cole.”

“No, that doesn’t count Jay isn’t violent and would never kill somebody.”

“True, ok I’ll let you go,” Brooke said hugging her. Before she could go Ricky came out.

“Are you ok?” He asked her looking concerned.

“I’m fine, you know I’m an old lady that never comes out the house any more, I’m just tired,” she told him. The more she said it the more she felt like it was a lie.

“Alright,” he said looking like he didn’t believe her either.

“I will see you both tomorrow for dinner,” she said. She kissed her brother’s check and waved as she headed to her husband’s waiting car.

If she had to keep just one more secret she was definitely going to lose it. Nobody needed to know she’d lost her virginity to Eric, she’d only ever told four people. Her sister was dead and she was no longer friends with Cody so that left Brooke and Christina. Because it wasn’t like Eric was going to tell anybody. Even if it was for someone else’s well being, secrets often involved lies and she was against lying. But was it lying if that person didn’t know about your secret?

Reviews

[deeps]

So full of emotion, suspense and drama. I liked this chapter.
I love the detail and imagery as well. This is a wonderful written chapter.