Allie Chapter 17

Allie (Chapter 17) Time

Chapter 17

           

            Allie was in the garage staring at her mother’s bribe. She’d wanted a car of her own; it would make her life easier. Though since her uncle had a few cars she could drive one if she wanted. Tony usually drove her around anyway. It was a nice bribe, but she didn’t want it. In the past she wouldn’t mind a guilt gift but things were different now. Before she didn’t care about anything or anyone that was the past. Now she lived in a house full of people that cared about her and paid attention to if she did homework or came home late. A house where she had nothing to fear from the fact that her bedroom door didn’t lock. Having that one small convenience was worth a lot more than this car. Katrina was smart, she never really doubted that. It was a Capriani trait to be good at strategy. Tony would be six hours away when he went to school, and a car would help Allie to see him. Her mother had become very predictable.

            What 17 year old girl wouldn’t want a BMW convertible? It was shiny new and black and it was a beautiful car. If she had to pick a car it would be this one. Her stupid mother picked well and in the past she wouldn’t have hesitated. Accepting this gift meant she was accepting her mother. There would be none of that; she’d rather walk than forgive her mother. Or let her mother feel validated in anything she did. Allie had parents that loved her now. She didn’t have to ask them to care, they just did. That was what parents were supposed to do, to love you and care about you no matter what. Since moving in she didn’t really feel the need to go out and party all night. Not that her uncle would let her and once threatened to have her chained to the fence. No matter how pretty the car was she could not give in.

            “Do you like your new car?” Her mother asked when she came into the garage. All day Katrina kept her distance, now Allie wasn’t so lucky.

            “Take it back; I don’t want your guilt gift. Besides after I wrecked the first two cars you swore you’d never buy me another. And so you know it was intentional,” Allie said. Katrina should have known better.

            “I know I handled what happened to you badly and I am sorry for that. And I’m sorry you blame me for Markus leaving you. But what was I supposed to do? It didn’t just happen to you Allesandra. Yes, the worst thing in the world happened to you but it happened to your family too. You brother took off and I didn’t know what to do with you. It’s not a subject they teach in a parenting class or that they write books about. There is no how to on dealing with the molestation of your daughter. And you looked at me like you hated me, I thought I did the right thing by letting you stay with Abuelita,” Katrina said.

            “For one I told you not to call me Allesandra, that little girl doesn’t exist anymore. Of course I hated you and I still do and always will. I do blame you, it is your fault. A mother is supposed to protect her children not forget them because you want to chase after another man,” Allie replied. “Take your damn car and just leave. At least Markus respects me enough to stay away. I don’t need you, I have parents now.”

            “What happens when they have their own child? They won’t have time to chase you around then,” Katrina said.

            “The difference between them and you is that they always know where I am. Unlike you they care about me,” she said.

            “I was a teenager when I had Markus; your father charmed me so that I would do what he wanted. Neither of us expected me to get pregnant or for my father to force us into marriage. Alvin never loved me, he tolerated me and we pretended for the world. But he did love Markus and you, he also loved to hit me. And I thought to myself what happens when he decides to hit one of you? So I made him leave and stay away from you. Was I supposed to let him beat on me? Then you would have been perfectly safe with your abusive father. I made mistakes and I fell for a man that also treated me badly and as a result of my insecurities and low self-esteem you got hurt. I would do anything to make this up to you. When you came back home years later I thought letting you have your freedom was for the best

            “You lied so often I couldn’t believe anything you said. So when you told me things about the men I was seeing I didn’t believe you. Every word out of your mouth was a lie and you never wanted me to be happy. You have been punishing me all these years over something I couldn’t have prevented. How could I have known what he would do? There were no warning signs to look for. I know that doesn’t make it any better but I am sorry for everything. Is there no way we can get pass this and start over?” Katrina asked and she seemed genuine.

            What was Allier supposed to do? Her mother was practically begging for forgiveness. She wanted to be able to forgive her but she couldn’t. There was no backing down no matter what Katrina said. It hurt too much, she was way too damaged. Then there was what happened in the summer. When Uncle Nick decided to become Allie’s guardian her mother got mad. So when Allie got dropped off for her appointment with her old therapist, Katrina had her kidnapped. Faced with the decision of staying with her mother or death she chose death. That said it all; if you would rather die than live with your mother then something was wrong.

            Prior to that situation Allie had never thought of attempting suicide. Now she had the scars to remind her of why she’d never live with her mother again. When she took a knife and cut her wrists she’d cut vertically. Obviously she didn’t do it deep enough and her mother found her right after so she was rushed to the hospital. Nobody was talking about that anymore though. Why would they? Caprianis were “sweep it under the rug” type of people. But no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t forget. At least her uncle wanted to help her get over this at least as much was possible.

            Life was starting to be too much for her. Hadn’t she already had a mild nervous breakdown this week? The more time she spent near her mother and brother the harder it was to keep it together. Maybe that was why she had so much trouble when she lived with Katrina. It was because of Katrina, she made everything worse. Her very presence made something inside Allie just break and all the pieces of herself she’d been trying to put back together fell apart again. Katrina was her trigger, and she’d never noticed before. Then again she hadn’t been in the clearest frame of mind the last few years. Now that her head was clear and she wasn’t under the influence of anything, she could see things she never had.

            Maybe she needed to thank Katrina from being stupid and selfish over the summer. Allie hadn’t died from her suicide attempt but she got a second chance at life. The summer changed her life forever and put her through an emotional storm. There was still a lot that needed to happen before she could function properly in the world but a lot changed. She had friends now, she went to school everyday, she joined the cheer squad and she had Tony. The very fact that she’d had sex with the same gut for about three months straight was a serious improvement for her. Now she liked coming home and she liked having dinner at the table as a family. All the things she missed out on she now had.

            “I may have lied a lot but you never considered believing me so what was the point? Do you know what its like to be afraid to sleep in your own damn bed at night? Oh wait you don’t, so what you got hit big deal. I wish he hit you hard enough to knock some common sense into you. My father is a stranger to me because of you, so what if he didn’t love you it’s not like you deserved it. It wasn’t fair that Markus and I had to suffer because you were stupid and pathetic. We could have still seen him without you being married to him,” she paused and drew in a breath. “When he kills you I hope you know that you deserve so much worse.”

            For a long time they silently stared at each other. Katrina seemed to be searching her eyes for a clue or for the child that worshipped her mother. The child that she could never be again. And this just proved further that she could never forgive her mother. Even if she could Katrina brought out the worst in her. If she wanted to retain any of the minimal sanity she had left and not become dependent on nicotine and hard liquor, she needed distance. Maybe when she was in a better place in her life she could try again to work this out with Katrina and Markus. For now it was best that she worked on herself and her future without them being a factor.

            “What would you say if I told you I hired a lawyer and you will have to come back home with me?” Katrina asked.

            “I would say that I would rather be dead than to live with you. Don’t you see that you are the problem? It’s always been you! When you pretend to be a caring parent or when you’re a neglectful b***h, it’s always the same. I can’t live with you; I can barely be in the same room as you. Uncle Nick would never let that happen. I don’t see why you would want me back anyway,” she said. This was frustrating and too stressful and she needed a cigarette. Too bad Tony’s keys were in the house, she had a stash in the truck.

            “I’ll never stop trying because I failed you before and I have to make it up to you. Let me try to fix this Allie, I’m sorry,” her mother said. That was actually shocking and so were the tears, she’d never seen her mother cry.

            “Just stay away, that’s how to fix it just leave me alone. Why can’t you do that one little thing? If you really care then leave me alone with the people that love me.”

            “You know that I was married when I was 15, pregnant too. I know that you want to marry your little boyfriend. If you never listen to anything else I’ve ever said just listen to this, don’t do it. All that will happen is you will feel you missed out on things and you will resent each other.”

            “Thanks for the advice, are you going to honor my request?”

            “I know it will take time for you to believe this, but I love you. Yes, I showed it very badly and I regret many many things. For you I will keep my distance but not forever just a little while. Keep the car,” Katrina said. She walked back through the door into the house before Allie could reply.

            The car was a bribe but if it was going to sit here she might as well keep it. Maybe, if Katrina kept her distance then she could keep the car. That was fair, besides her mother owed her way more than a car. And it really was a nice car that she wouldn’t want to crash on purpose. In her defense the first car was a “gift” from one of her stepfathers, he wanted something in return. All he got was a huge chunk of metal and a waste of money. She turned back away from the car when she heard the door. What she expected was for her mother to break her promise right away, but it wasn’t her. Ivan stood there, car keys in hand staring at her.

            They didn’t talk anymore, not really so much as a “hi”. Both of them had a lot to lose from their thing, too many people knew. And Brooke was really bad at secrets. If Uncle Nick found out everybody would pay. She thought back to the day he was texting her and arguing with Tony. It seemed like so long ago when it really wasn’t. Here he was today with his blonde bimbo girlfriend. Jessica followed him around and held his hand and was just annoying. That wasn’t jealousy it was just a fact Jessica was clingy and annoying and so was Sydney. Those two were best friends and the reason was obvious, they were both so desperate. It was a good thing she didn’t say what she was thinking out loud because it sounded like jealousy.

            “Hey, that your new car?” He asked casually, eventually this had to be less awkward.

            “Yup, she refuses to take it back so I’m stuck with it,” she shrugged.

            “Do you know how spoiled you sound right now?” At that they both laughed.

            “You know me I’m troubled who knows what I might say or do. So uh where’s your girlfriend?” She asked trying to not sound jealous because she wasn’t.

            “Oh she left with Sydney after a fight with Ricky, or something,” he shrugged. “I know I’m not supposed to be near you but I did need to talk to you.”

            “About what?” She asked half curious and half worried.

            “Well my sister asked me to come on her little Christmas trip. It occurs to me that it would be very awkward and I don’t want to make everyone uncomfortable. So I was wondering how you would feel about it,” he said. He sounded a lot more grown up than he ever had before.

            “Are you bringing her?”

            “Maybe, I’m sure she would want to.”

            “Come, live it up in Brazil.”

            “You’re sure it wouldn’t be a problem?”

            “Nope, but your girlfriend is kind of a total bimbo,” she said.

            “You don’t even know her,” he replied.

            “I do have eyes,” she said.

            “And what could I say about Tony? Not much huh? He is Mr. Perfect, oh I forgot you’re engaged,” he laughed.

            “Shut up, it’s not funny we are serious,” she said.

            “Ok then have fun,” he laughed harder.

            “You’re such an a*s, just cause nobody would ever marry you doesn’t mean this isn’t serious. I love Tony and I’m going to marry him,” she said with more conviction than she had. She did want to marry him, but the when was up in the air.

            “What’s up with your new look? Never saw you as emo,” he said.

            “I like to be different, Tony likes it.”

            “Yeah right, he’s just telling you what you want to hear. Little brother is into girlie girls, you know that fall at his perfect feet. Sounds just like you.”

            “Keep it up and I’ll kick your a*s, let’s see if you make it back from Brazil,” she said. They both laughed, it was good to laugh.

But this was her life where nothing ever went right so of course when the door opened it was Tony. And he didn’t look too happy to see them. She was still leaning against her car and he was a safe distance away near the door. Still this looked bad because of the past. And because Tony thought she wasn’t over Ivan. This was just one nightmare after another and she wanted to wake up from this awful dream. One day, she just wanted one day that went right. If things kept up like this she was going to have a full on nervous breakdown by the end of the week. Since it was already Thursday, the breakdown was coming.

 

 

Sammie knew something was up when Evan came out to the stables, it was in his expression. Instead of talking about whatever it was he played with the kids. When would the drama ever end? She had a bad feeling that she didn’t want to know what was on Evan’s mind. It would have just been easier for her to be packing to leave Sunday. But she wasn’t taking the easy way out, she was trying. Maybe Evan had a disagreement with his mother, that could be it.

Everybody knew he didn’t get along with his mother. And that just made her think of her own mother, who she hadn’t heard from in awhile. Knowing that the only reason you existed at all was because your mother wanted your father for money did not feel very great. Especially when you were just a number among way too many others. No wonder she was having problems, it started the day she was born. Her mother tried at first, from what she heard but her father drove her mother crazy. Like he did with most of the women he went through. Some days lately she felt like she was losing her mind completely, then she realized why. She was just born to have issues, her upbringing was the stuff therapists and psychiatrists made a fortune out of.

“I’m jealous, I would love to live her,” Lexy said.

“Really? I thought you were all about NYC?” Sammie asked and she shrugged.

“It’s nice since its like all I’ve ever known and people know me. But it’s peaceful here and I love the horses. I guess you aren’t coming home with us, huh?” Lexy asked they were still in the stables; Evan was outside with the kids running around.

“No, it would be best if I stay here,” she said.

“Don’t want to leave Evan as much as you thought?”

“It wasn’t just about him, this family just breeds insanity.”

“Oh yeah, I don’t you see you as a city girl anyway. Allie needs you, especially if she thinks she’s getting married.”

“Hopefully I have talked her out of that,” she sighed.

“Must be fun to be in love,” Lexy said.

“Thought you had a boyfriend?” She asked and Lexy’s cheeks flushed bright red.

“Jordan thinks he’s cursed because its one of his friends and you’re with Evan who use to be his friend. So anyway Allie wants to model, why don’t you?”
            “Why are you always trying to get me to model for you? I like sports and not dresses, let it go Lex.”
            “One day Samantha one day,” Lexy said. Then she skipped away outside, that girl always had too much energy just like her mother.

Sammie was left alone with the horses that were still inside. She pet Starfire, her horse. Considering the fact that her mother never had much for her and Jordan growing up it was funny that she had her own horse. Unlike Allie she didn’t shop like crazy with her unlimited credit card, it wasn’t like that at her house. Her mother often used all the child support money she had on herself. Or to pay the bills before something got shut off. Angel didn’t want to work that was why she had children, so that she could have money. Though she never imagined that she would end up with twins, though that meant twice as much money for her not to really use on them. Still for some reason Sammie missed her mother that was never much of a mother, more like a selfish big sister.

“Sam,” Evan called when he came inside.

“When Allie was younger she was like a champion in horse shows. Her mom bought her a horse when she was like 7 and she always wanted me to come out and ride with her. So Abuelita thought I needed a horse too, they always had horses here but this one is mine,” she said without turning. “I think they are mostly still here just out of habit. Allie doesn’t really like horses like she use to.”

“I have to tell you something,” he said as she was afraid he would.

“Go ahead,” she said knowing she didn’t want to hear it.

“When I was at Ricky’s I kissed Sydney,” he said. That made her turn to stare at him, it wasn’t what she expected.

“What? You kissed her?” She asked needing clarity because she could have heard that right.

“The whole thing was a huge mistake and I want to be honest with you,” he said.

“W-why would you kiss her? I know you were mad at me but I didn’t know you were that mad,” she said. She sank down to the ground because standing was suddenly too much.

“Sam, it wasn’t about you I wasn’t thinking and she was always in my face. There is no excuse but I am sorry and I swear nothing like that will ever happen again,” he said.

He looked like he meant it; he was kneeling down in front of her waiting for her to respond. How did you respond to this? How were you supposed to act when your boyfriend kissed his brother’s girlfriend? Of course he never said anything when he was begging her to stay here. That would just make her want to leave. Did she want to leave? It actually wasn’t fair for her to have to leave; this house belonged to her family. He was just here because his mother was psychotic. She grew up coming here and she deserved to be here, Evan not so much. But she had nothing to say to him, so instead of talking she got up.

This was too much for her today so she didn’t want to deal with it, maybe tomorrow. Or maybe not at all, but definitely not today. So instead of talking to him she let Starfire out. She didn’t stop to get a saddle for him, just pulled him out. Evan just kind of stood there looking confused, but she didn’t care. She was just going to ride her horse and forget about the rest of the world.

 

 

“What were you talking to him about?” Tony asked Allie when they were alone.

“Um Brazil, he’s coming too,” she shrugged.

“Since when?” He asked watching her; she wouldn’t look him in the eyes.

“Uh since your sister asked him to, he wanted to know if it would be too weird for me. I told him it was fine, we’re all family we need to get along,” she said. “Want to go for a drive? I guess I’m keeping this thing, mostly on the condition that I don’t have to see her anymore.”

“You talked to your mother?” He asked and she nodded, that was why she looked so upset.

“If you want proof that I was only talking to Ivan I’ll get Uncle Nick to put the surveillance from in here on a DVD for you,” she said. Now she did look into his eyes, he felt guilty and she was crying.

“That’s not necessary I believe you, it was just weird that’s all,” he said. He went to her where she was leaning against her car and he put his arms around her.

“I’m a wreck, I feel like driving this stupid car into a tree or a river,” she said.

“You could do that or you could talk to me,” he offered.

“No cause if I do then you’ll think I’m crazy,” she whispered.

“Come on Allie tell me what happened,” he urged.

“I realized that every time she’s near me I feel crazy and feel like doing something destructive,” she said. She was crying and she was shaking, he held her tight and had no idea what else to do.

Yes, he’d known Allie had problems, everybody knew she did. Tony had just never realized how serious those problems were. Nobody had until she tried to kill herself. And he knew that when the hospital wanted to keep her after that incident she begged her uncle not to let that happen. He gave her what she wanted. She stayed at the hotel for three weeks with Wildflower, Sammie and good old Uncle Nick.  After that she seemed fine, of course she never acted like anything was wrong in the first place. She’d said it was only because of her mother that she slit her wrists. Maybe it wasn’t just that, this girl was a ticking bomb waiting to go off.

The worst of this couldn’t be the suicide attempt. There was still the sex, drugs and alcohol, and that was just what he knew. Tony was getting the feeling that no matter how much time he spent with her, he would never really know Allie. She changed a lot one day she could be one person and the next day another. So what was he supposed to do? He didn’t even know who he fell for anymore. This girl was broken and hurt and he was afraid for her. What if she succeeded in killing herself next time? Maybe she did need to be hospitalized. But what did he know?

“Allie, what can I do? How can I help you?” Tony asked, he was desperate to do something anything for her.

“Will you do anything?” She asked suddenly looking up at him.

“Yeah anything you need,” he replied. He didn’t expect for her to jump up and wrap her legs around his waist, but he should have.

“I know what I said before but I need this right now,” she said staring him in the eyes. One day he really wanted to know what it was with her and sex.

“You’re sure?” He asked though he knew the answer.

“Trust me this is the best option right now, the safest I’d say,” she told him.

“And you wouldn’t happen to want to go upstairs?” He asked but she was already undoing his pants.

“No, we can break in my new car since we already did yours,” she said. Before he could replied she kissed him. After this he was really going to have to do something to actually help her that involved clothes being on.

 

 

            Marguerite was in a house with all her children and most of them hated her. But she smiled and did the things a mother was supposed to. If she wanted to win back her children she was going to have to be patient. Patience was what her husband had been good at, not her. She was determined to be patient if it killed her. Even if that meant that she was in the same house as all three of her grandchildren but wasn’t allowed to speak to the youngest one. She’d just barely been allowed to go to her daughter’s wedding, not that anybody had fond memories of the day. Except that it was the day that her youngest daughter found out she was pregnant.

            After that day her children were slightly more forgiving towards her. Or at least they spoke to her. They all took orders from her oldest son, it was actually amazing. Whatever Ricardo said was law to them, she’d never seen anything like it. If she remembered correctly they never listened to her or their father like this. Three of her sons were the most unforgiving and she understood why. Understanding didn’t make it any easier. Nothing was easy anymore, or it never really had been.

            Her husband loved children and he’d always said he wanted a big family. Never did she imagine she would end up with 12 children. And she especially didn’t think she would be alone with all of them. Maybe she had problems before she met Vance and everything just fell apart when he died. She had been a stay at home mother with 11 kids and pregnant; she’d never had a job. Then there she was alone and she lost it. Ricardo had been 15 and he held everybody together. There had been no time for her to morn her husband she had to go find a job but what job could she have gotten to support so many children? The panic she’d felt then she could still feel now.

            First she lost their house and she had to take her children to live with her mother-in-law. By the time Evan was born she couldn’t handle any of it anymore. All she remembered was leaving for work one day and she woke up in a hospital weeks later. That was just the beginning it just went downhill from there. And she knew she hurt her children and that it wasn’t fair for a 15 year old to take responsibility but it was just a mess. The last 16 years had been the hardest of her life. Harder for her children because of her and the “episodes” she had.

            There were times when she was fine and could function as a normal person. Those times would lead her to deciding she was fine and didn’t need medication. It happened every single time. Sometimes it was like she couldn’t control anything she did. She couldn’t even remember the incident with Christina over the summer. Or coming to see her daughter and pushing Evan over the edge. In fact that day she pushed everybody over and they left her alone. The nice fancy place Nicolas paid for was helpful but also hurtful too. No matter what there was always something in her brain that derailed any treatment she had. So she had to be vigilant and try really hard. When the fire happened it set things off and here she was again, causing everybody grief.

            Her children thought the worst of her sometimes and that wasn’t their fault. They were raised in an unstable environment. It was amazing that they were so well adjusted after everything that happened. Of course that was Ricardo’s doing, he took care of everything including her. Not anymore but that too was her fault they had pushed too far and too many times. For now she had herself together and she was trying to prove herself to her children. She’d stepped outside and was sitting next on the steps in the front of the house. This all was a bit overwhelming for her and she needed to have a moment to gather her thoughts. The door opened and out came Rosa, looking as mad and evil as she did every time Marguerite saw her.

            “I hope you’re happy with that daughter of yours,” Rosa said.

            “My daughter did not force your son to marry her, he pursued her. He was at my house everyday, he was the one begging her to live with him. He bought us a new house before the fire to convince her to live with him. He asked her to marry him and as I understand it he was the one that wanted a child. So what is it my daughter did? She did not seek him out, she rarely left the house before she met him,” Marguerite said annoyed.

            “Oh and yet the one time she goes out she meet him? That is planning I know about planning,” Rosa replied.

            “Maybe in your world that is how things happen but not my daughter. She’s always been a hard working and completely selfless,” she said. Her daughter was everything she was not.

            “Yes selflessly she took her clothes off for money, that isn’t the type of woman my son should be married to. And I seriously doubt that she carries his child. You people need to leave my family alone. I will not let some stripper bring my family down,” Rosa said.

            “Stripper? My daughter would never do such a thing,” she said. She may not have raised her children their whole lives but Ricardo would never allow his sister to do that sort of thing.

            “Oh you don’t know do you?” Rosa asked looking pleased with herself. “I do through checks into everybody that comes near my family and I know your daughter’s work history. I know everything about your family and though my Nicky tried to hide it I know about her. But you seem to be completely surprised, I don’t know why.”

            Marguerite did not know how to respond. Her daughter would never do something like that. Wildflower was in the middle of 9 brothers that were very protective of her. There was just no way. But this evil woman seemed to be pretty sure of herself. It made no sense though; Wildflower worked translating since she was 18. She’d started six months or so after Daisy died. Marguerite couldn’t be sure what happened exactly after Daisy’s accident, she’d been indisposed for a while after that. She knew her children, or at least she thought she did.

 

            Wildflower was laying in bed after she threw up most of her dinner. Being pregnant as Tara said was no fun. Arguing with Rosa didn’t help her mood much at all. Her house was still full of family and she was in bed, it didn’t seem right. But Dr. Cam stepped in to say that she needed to get away from the stress. And of course Nicolas was ready to send her upstairs whether she wanted to or not, like a child. For the moment she was humoring them, and she did need a little rest. Soon but not soon enough she would be able to take her life back.

            “Are you feeling any better?” Nicolas asked when he came back in the room.

            “Why can’t I just have one normal day? Everything was fine and now not so much,” she sighed.

            “That is why tonight I’m taking you to the hotel so you can rest,” he said.

            “We can’t just leave, we have guests,” she said. Not that she thought it was a bad idea, they really needed some alone time. Then maybe she could just tell him how she was feeling.

            “Family do not count as guests, if it makes you feel better we’ll come home on Saturday. We need to be alone,” he said.

            “Alright,” she agreed. Then she heard something beeping, like a cell phone. “What is that? It’s not your phone is it?”

            “No, that sound means someone opened the gate out on to the trail,” he said. He went to his side of the bed and opened a drawer on the nightstand. The little device he pulled out looked like a touch screen cell phone. “It shows all the cameras I have on the property. I just had an experimental lock put on the gate so I know when its open.”

            “This is kinda neat,” she said. He sat beside her to show her how it worked.

            “Sammie took her horse out,” he said when he pulled up the camera.

            “How many camera do you have here?” She asked, he changed the views to different ones.

            “I lost count; I will never leave anything to chance again. There are a few in here but nobody can access them but me,” he told her.

            “You put them in our bedroom but none of the other bedrooms?”

            “Well considering our bedroom was invaded twice its necessary. They are only on if I turn them on and I’ve been here with you so no need.”

            “What’s next are you going to put a tracking device on me?” She asked half joking; it was something he would do.

            “Would you mind if I did? We could get it in a watch or bracelet or other jewelry,” he said. He was definitely serious.

            “Uh hell no, we’ll talk if I actually get kidnapped,” she replied.

            “And you would be opposed to having one on our little one?” He asked and she couldn’t help but to laugh.

            “Nick you are so crazy,” she said. “We’ll see what happens between now and when little Nick is born.”

            “If they can tell us the sex of our baby at your appointment, do you want to know? Or would you like to be surprised?”

            “I don’t know, you want to know though, huh?”

            “Maybe, but I can wait if it’s not what you want. However I don’t think I could know and not tell you,” he said. While he spoke he moved down so his head rested on her belly.

            “Hmm I think I want to know, that way we can pick a name and paint a room,” she said. When he did things like this she couldn’t help but to smile.

            “We should talk about names,” he said.

            “Nick jr. could you imagine what kids would say? That’s a channel on TV,” she pointed out.

            “I don’t know, we can discuss this more over breakfast tomorrow. A quiet breakfast just the two of us,” he said. “I’m thinking we need to leave for Brazil maybe a week before everybody else comes down. Tammy will be here or Brooke can keep an eye on the kids. But I think it’s important that we have that time alone. Only if you want to though, it’s fine if you don’t.”

            “Um that’s fine, I agree that we need some time,” she nodded.

            Time, they needed time to figure this marriage stuff out. Well she did, he was always sure of himself. There were so many things she wanted to say to him but didn’t know where to start. After he got mad about her going out to dinner she’d been thinking too much. It was like the same thing over and over again. If she ever wanted to go out anywhere he wanted her to stay in. Maybe they did need time apart. She could always go hide out with Ricky for a few days. Telling anybody else about her problems wasn’t an option. There was a good chance that she was just being hormonal and stressed out and annoyed about being stuck in the house. Melissa was right and she needed therapy, everyday she was starting to think that more and more.

            “Something on your mind?” Nicolas asked, he’d come back up to lay beside her.

            “Do you think that maybe we rushed into this marriage?” Wildflower asked before she could think better of it.

            “Maybe, I wanted you so I had to have you. I would have done anything as you know to have you as my wife. Are you having regrets?” He asked his tone was calm; it was when he was calm that he was dangerous.

            “No, but I do think we need to work on some things,” she paused and turned to face him. “If you wanted me to do the prenup thing or whatever I would do it you know.”

            “I know, but like I told you before I don’t want that. Sometimes I like to gamble, I’m an all or nothing kind of guy. Not that it’s really a gamble with you, I know you.”

            “About your mother,” she started but he shook his head.

            “Don’t go there, she needed to go. She will be staying with Katrina until I’m guessing she can harass Jose. Then Katrina will be going back home with her. Apparently Allie and Katrina had a fight and she’s giving her daughter space,” he told her.

            “Your mother was being a b***h but I should have-”

            “It is fine she needs to go home and collect herself before she comes back here again. And it’s not your fault she tried but Jasmine is trigger for her, for everybody. That is not an exaggeration the things they said about her, she’s always supported by men. But not Jose, he’s just not that type of person. He’s had an unhealthy obsession with her for a long time and now he’s just marrying her for his son. She is the type of person to take Joseph and leave just because she felt like hurting him. Eventually he will get tired of her, its inevitable,” he explained.

            “Really? But she really seems to love him,” she said.

            “Oh she does but neither of them are people who stay in one relationship for a long period of time. Trust me when I say that this will get bad,” he said.

            “Marriages in your family don’t last very long, how can you be sure we will?” She asked, she’d given that a lot of thought.

            “Because I am not like my family, and you are not like anybody else in the world. Don’t worry we will stay together no matter what, unlike my father I know what’s important. You and our child and teen brats are my priority, work is second to family.”

            “Did you just say the teens are your number one priority?”

            “No I said you are but I am going to be more invested in them. Especially Allie, we had a talk and I see some troubling things in that girl,” he paused. “You know how we talked about how I went from a traumatized 15 year old to well whatever I am now? That was a process it didn’t happen over night. She has only gotten worse over the years mostly because Katrina has no parental skills at all. But I’d rather not see her end up like me. I’ll do whatever it takes to help her.”

            “This is why I know you’re going to be such an amazing father,” she told him. “You care even when you pretend that you don’t.”

            “Yeah yeah I care but I still would prefer to have my wife and my house to myself,” he said. She kissed him then the little camera viewer thing start beeping again.

            “What is that for the gate again?” She asked reaching for where she left it.

            “No, the cameras are motion sensored that sound means there’s been too much motion in a place that could cause for concern,” he said. He took the device and moved to a camera in the garage, where all the motion was.

            “Oh my God, I didn’t need to see that,” she said. Right there on the screen was Allie and Tony making a lot of motion in the garage.

            “We own a security company, that’s how we have this stuff. Some of its experimental and why not test it out here? So let’s see if the new locks work, I had them put a lock on the garage door and the door to the house. Just so I can lock it from on here,” he said. Like a cell phone it slid up to reveal a keyboard where he typed some things in.

            “Let it never be said that Nicolas Capriani parents in a normal way,” she laughed.

            “What is locking them in there so bad? They wanted to be alone so they will be,” he shrugged.

            “Do you have another one of these?” She asked, technology amazed her sometimes and she really thought it was neat.

            “You want one? I have another; I also have one for D’s house for obvious reasons and one for Jose’s. I’ll get you the other one out of the safe and show you how to use it,” he said. Someone knocked on the bedroom door then.

            “Come in,” she called and was surprised to see her mother. Or maybe the surprise was mostly from the troubled expression on Marguerite’s face. “Something wrong Mom?”

            “Rosa, she is a poisonous person but she said something to me about you,” her mother said.

            “Don’t pay her any attention, my mother can be quite creative in what she says,” Nicolas said. He didn’t even look up from his camera, it looked like he was looking at the very many cameras he had.

            “What did she say now? I’m a gold-digger, I chased Nick down or am I lying about who fathered this child?” She asked, it was slightly amusing to her at this point. But her mother did not look amused.

            “She said that you worked as a stripper,” her mother said. That got both her and Nicolas’ attention; they looked at each other and her mother.

            “Nick, I thought you said you handled that anyway? I almost forgot she said that, how does your mother know?” Wildflower asked her husband.

            “Good question, I’m actually not sure about that but I will find out,” he said.

            “So this is true?” Her mother demanded, secrets never stayed secret forever.

            “Yes, it is turn,” she said.

            “When was this?” Marguerite asked sounding a little desperate.

            “After Daisy died, you weren’t supposed to find out,” she replied.

            That secret was never supposed to come out because she knew it would affect her mother. Right now she was doing so well, Aunt Maria was monitoring her medication. At the time her mother had been in the hospital for almost a year, Daisy’s death hit her very hard. So there was no way for her to know, the aunts and Iris didn’t know. Well Aunt Kim knew because of Brooke but she would never tell. One thing Wildflower knew her brothers were good at was keeping secrets, they would never have told. Nicolas wanted to keep that information from the world so he’d assured her that his family could never find out. Maybe Rosa’s bribe was better than his. Either way now her own mother knew her deepest darkest secret. Basically between Nicolas and her brothers and Brooke and Christina, she had no secrets.

            “Ricardo let you do this?” Her mother asked, this was going to end badly.

            “Let is a strong word, he did not want to do it but there weren’t many choices. I did it like three nights a week and the rest of the time I was home with the boys. We needed money, and Daisy’s funeral wasn’t free. You were in the hospital; Jay had a full leg cast on. I did not want to do it and they did not want to let me. But I did what I had to for my family,” she told her mother.

            “There was no other job in the world for you to do?”

            “Not that would get me cash fast and like I said I had to be home. The guys made sure nothing happened to me and it was like 3 months and then Ricky’s started his business,” she shrugged like it didn’t matter.

            “You contributed to his business?” Marguerite asked sounding either shocked or appalled or both.

            “Not entirely, most of the money I made went towards bills and Daisy. We kind of all contributed to that but as you know Ricky and Isaiah can not work together. A lot happened when you were away and we all survived,” she said. It was not an easy time but nothing for their family was ever easy.

            “I just can’t understand how any of your brothers could allow you to do such a thing. Anything could have happened to you and it’s not a proper job. Those women get hooked on drugs and have drinking problems and all sorts of diseases and-” 

            “Mom, I never would do any of that I just took off my clothes. When I was done I left, its not really a big deal. That was 5 years ago, I got a real job after that and kept that job until this year,” she said. The job was still a sore subject for her so she didn’t like to think about it.

            “Remind me why you quit your job? You were good at it,” her mother said switching subjects.

Not that this subject was any better especially when her mother yelled at her for this very thing when it happened. Obvious the haze of crazy blocked it from her memory. She didn’t want to talk about any of this. The past was in the past for a reason. That decision about whether to keep her job or not hadn’t been hers. Because of her relationship with Nicolas she was asked politely to quit. If she was going to get fired she’d have preferred for it to have been a real reason that didn’t involve the world’s hate for Caprianis. Once she moved in with Nicolas she was late to work because he wanted to have sex in the morning and she came back late from lunch because he wanted her for lunch. Those were reasons to fire her but nope they didn’t mention that at all.

Four years of her life wasted on a job that she would have otherwise kept. Just because she was with someone with money didn’t mean she couldn’t work. Right now she couldn’t work or do anything but she would have. After “quitting” she devoted her summer to the kids, all of Delanoz’s kids were there all summer. Now since she was pregnant she wasn’t even sure what she was going to do. Volunteering was a good idea and she was going to do that but long term she had no idea what she was going to do. Working for Nicolas wasn’t really an option, his father had suggested it once and he use to all the time. All he would do if she was in the same building as him would be chase her down so they could have sex.

“Because of me,” Nicolas answered. “Some people do not like my family or the business that we do, her ex-employers are among those people.”

“And your plan is to stay home with the baby?” Her mother asked staring her straight in the eyes.

“Um yes that is the plan,” she said.

“Are you certain? I know that wealthy people hire nannies to raise their children for them,” Marguerite said.

“That won’t be happening,” Nicolas said. “We were raised by my grandmother; the nannies were gone when I was very young. Strangers will not raise our child we will do it ourselves.”

Wildflower knew that her mother would never have let her have a nanny. Not that she ever considered it. But she did want to work again; whenever she figured out exactly what it was she wanted to do. Before this awkward conversation could go any further there was another beep from the device. Nicolas picked it up with a sigh, she figured maybe Allie and Tony realized they were locked in the garage. His expression said otherwise and he jumped up from the bed.

“What is it?” She asked then looked down on the screen.

“Evan is out by the stables call him,” Nicolas said as he ran out of the room.

“What’s wrong?” Her mother asked.

“Sammie’s fell off her horse,” Wildflower said and grabbed her cell phone. Family gathers were a curse.

Author's Note

please tell me what you think

Reviews

[deeps]

I like this, kept me in wonderful suspense. This is an outstanding chapter here. Such vivid imagery as well as detail. I enjoyed this.