Allie Chapter 12

Chapter 12 Relationships

Chapter 12

 

            Allie felt like she needed a change so she got a new dye job. At the beginning of the summer she changed her hair from its natural dirty blonde to espresso brown. She’d contemplated going back to blonde but in the end went black with blood red and honey blonde streaks and curls. It was a drastic change but she needed a change. Tomorrow for school she was going to adopt a bit of a gothic-punky style. It was fun to try something new and it wasn’t like she couldn’t change it again, sooner or later she would go natural again. With her new hair she was adopting a new attitude, just like last time. So she was waiting for Tony in his room, sitting on his bed flipping through the issue of Teen Vogue that she was in. It gave her ideas. Lexy was on the cover and there were a few pictures of the two of them.

            Today she did a lot of thinking and she decided some things for her life. She was going to be a senior next year and up until now she had absolutely no idea what she wanted to do with her life. Marrying Tony would probably be a very bad idea if she wanted to move to New York to model. It was fine when she wanted to follow him to college like a little lost puppy. But how was she supposed to tell him? There was a lot they needed to talk about and it was not going to be easy. When he came in he stood in the doorway staring at her.

            “Wow,” he said coming in and closing the door.

            “Do you hate it?” She asked him.

            “No,” he said touching her hair and sort of inspecting it.

            “So did she tell you that she is letting us get married?” Allie asked watching him; he just nodded and laid down on the bed.

            “Do you want to get married? He asked looking up at her with an expression she couldn’t read.

            “It depends.”

            “On what?”

            “I think I want to go to New York and pursue a modeling career,” she told him.

            “Then we really would have a long distance relationship,” he said. There was a look in his eyes and she knew he did not want her to do this.

            “Tony, I want to be your wife, someday.”

            “What are we going to do? Getting married in a few months is an idea but we don’t have to, if you don’t want to,” he said.

            Here was her out; he was letting her out of this. The crazy thing was that right now she wasn’t sure that she wanted the out. Yes, the whole thing was completely impulsive and they were too young. But was that really so bad? All day she had been conflicted and certain that it was a bad idea but now she wasn’t. Hadn’t Mel just told her that her compulsive behavior was part of her problems? Being compulsive was just in her nature and dear Melissa was going to have to deal with it. She really did love Tony and she didn’t want to risk him being with anyone else. Just that thought had her wanting to do anything she could to keep him.

            “Ask me again when we’re closer to your graduation,” she told him. “She was right that we didn’t think it through, we need to get to know each other better as a couple.” That was the grown up thing to say and do, maybe she was growing up.

            “Alright, that’s fair,” he agreed.

            “Tony, I also think that maybe we need to test out celibacy,” she said seriously. For a few seconds he just stared at her like she’d said something completely insane.

            “What?” He asked obviously still stunned.

            “I love you and I think for us to decide if we really want to get married we need to be less sexual. You and pretty much the world are all concerned that I have a sex addiction. Really I think I’m mostly just addicted to you but its best we lay off sex,” she explained.

            “Ok, um we can try that if you want,” he replied looking a little dazed. She couldn’t help but to laugh at his reaction, this was supposed to be serious but she couldn’t help it.

            “I thought I was the one with the problem? You can’t take a little time off sex? Like until we get married?” She asked watching him and he had the oddest expression.

            “Was this your therapist’s idea?”

            “Ha, not at all, if Mel had her way I would be in sex rehab,” she shrugged.

            “So when would we stop having sex to be celibate?”

            “I don’t know; whenever, we still have a lot of time till you graduate.”

            “If you go to New York and we are married how would that work?” He asked, he was still serious and she had hoped they could laugh a little.

            “We would just see each other when we can, it wouldn’t be forever. I could fly out to see you every weekend, remember the Capriani jet? Um I could try to come to all of your games and there are holidays and the summer. All of this of course is depending on me convincing my aunt to let me model for her and Lexy. Could you handle being apart? Eventually we could live together,” she paused. “I’m just not good at anything, what would I even go to college for? It would just be a waste of four years; all I can do is look pretty.”

            “You are more than just a pretty face,” he told her and kissed the tip of her nose.

            “Not really,” she replied.

            “What are you good at?”

            “Sex? Really Tony I am good at being good looking and anything sexual. And I seriously doubt you would marry a porn star.”

            “I would never let you do that, the only person that will ever do anything with you is me,” he said. The sudden possessiveness in his voice turned her on, she found it sexy.

            “Now you are acting like a jealous husband and it’s so sexy,” she said crawling on top of him.

            “I would rather you come to school with me,” he admitted.

            “I want that too, then we could get an apartment together that I could probably make Katrina pay for. But I don’t know what I would go to school for.”

            “We can figure something out, there’s plenty of time. Besides people start college undecided all the time. I just don’t want to be away from you longer than I have to.”

            “I know,” she sighed. Instead of telling him that she really did want to model, she laid her head on his shoulder and let him hold her.  It still seemed like nothing was actually resolved, but she realized that this was going to be harder than they thought.

            “I thought you were coming home tonight?” Sammie asked over the phone.

            “Yeah I was but we just got back from Sydney’s family’s restaurant. I was there her whole shift, at least her family loves Ricky,” Evan told her.

            “That’s weird, I mean Ricky is likeable but are they that serious?”

            “For her yes, and he’s more into her than he lets on. It’s weird I’ve never seen him with anyone before. But I guess if you’re lonely and some chick worships you then sexual orientation doesn’t matter. And they really go at it; the walls are way too thin.”

            “Sometimes when you love someone nothing else matters,” she said surprising him. “Then again what do I know about love?”

            “I love you Sam,” he said.

            “I love you too and I would really love it if you were here.”

            “I know, maybe tomorrow,” he said.

            Evan was lying in bed staring at the ceiling; he opted out of watching some girly movie with the happy couple. So he called Sammie hoping that would get his brain back on track. Thinking about Sydney could not happen again. Then there was her sister Bella, that family turned out some beauties. But she was 19 and would never give him the time of day. Not that he was all that interested because he did have a girlfriend. Who he was talking to on the phone and who lived in the same house he lived in. Besides all Sydney ever did was stare at Ricky all starry-eyed. The longer he stayed here the less life made sense; he didn’t need to be near other females. All he could think about was sex; he was starting to wonder if something was wrong with him.

            “Sam, I know this is stupid for me to ask but do you think about that night we were together?”

            “Every second of the day, why?”

            “No reason,” he said rethinking going down that path.

            “Was um, was it good for you?” She asked taking him by surprise.

            “Yeah,” was all he could say. It was good until she freaked out and kicked him out of her bed.

            “I don’t think I’m ready for that again,” she whispered.

            “Oh I know, just a dumb thought. Sorry I brought it up.”

            “Maybe you need a new girlfriend,” she said unexpectedly.

            “For what? Because you don’t want to have sex? Sam, I love you and I want to be with you, we survived doing nothing before,” he said. Most of that was true, and he wasn’t digging any deeper to figure out what part was a lie.

            “Yeah that was before, Allie told me how much you like sex and that you would want it once we did it.”

            “Tell Allie to mind her business,” he said annoyed.

            “It’s true though, right?”

            “I’m not going to force you into something you are uncomfortable with. Your cousin is a w***e and all guys want her for is sex, you are nothing like her. All she is somebody’s good time,” he said.

            Maybe he shouldn’t have said it but it was sort of true, at least in the past. Allie was very annoying and he seriously resented ever being with her. He couldn’t understand how Tony could stand being with her. Not that there was a future for them anyway, she was not the type of girl you had something long term with. Tony was definitely in denial, but Evan didn’t say anything to him about it. Sammie didn’t need more pressure, because it was just going to make it forever until he did anything with her again. He wanted to be patient and wait for her but maybe Allie was right. Which probably meant the reason he was so annoyed with Allie was because she knew him too well.

            “You didn’t deny it,” Sammie whispered.

            “Sam,” he started unsure of what to say. “Look, ok I like sex but it’s not a big deal. Did I ever complain to you or pressure you? Please stop listening to your deranged cousin.”

            “I hoped when you called me that you were coming home. And I just wanted things to be normal again, but its never going to be normal,” she said. “Um I’m going to go to bed, so I’ll see you at school.”

            “Samantha, I don’t want to you to go to bed all upset. Sex isn’t a big deal and I’m not worrying about if you will have sex with me again or not. We really need to get pass this and stop talking about sex all the time.”

            “Yeah,” she said but he knew she was still upset. “Goodnight Evan.”

            “Night Sam,” he said and she hung up.

Another crash and burn, this week he just couldn’t win. To prove that point there was a knock on the door. Sydney poked her head in smiling. It seemed like whenever he felt particularly low she came around with her annoying happiness. Staying here had been a good idea when Ricky conveniently left out that she basically never went home. And that she never wore much in the way of clothing. Now she was wearing these really tiny tight shorts and a tight tank top and it didn’t look like she had any panties on.

            “I baked cookies, if you want some,” Sydney told him.

            “No thanks,” he said hoping she would go away. The only reason she had shorts on was because Ricky mentioned that her lack of clothes might make Evan uncomfortable. If he only knew.

            “Did you have a fight with your girlfriend?” She asked coming over to sit on the bed.

            “Something like that,” he replied.

            “Do you want to talk about it?”

            “Not really, it was my fault anyway,” he said. He sat up when Sydney patted his thigh; she was way too damn touchy.

            “What did you fight about?”

            “Sex,” he said but mostly to see how she reacted.

            “Oh, aren’t you a little young to be having sex?” She asked not reacting to what he said at all.

            “Not really,” he shrugged.

            “I was taught to save myself for marriage, I really wanted to it was what I believed in. Well I got engaged to my long time high school boyfriend and I ended up losing my virginity to him like the day he proposed. That obviously didn’t work out and it was a disaster. Then I sort of believed that I should have fun since I’m young, you know? When I met Ricky I knew that no matter what I could never let him go,” she told him. Not that he wanted to or needed to know any of that.

            “You really don’t think your relationship is weird?”

            “Do you love your girlfriend?”

            “Yeah I do, but I’ve known her my whole life.”

            “If you were talking about sex does that mean that you are having sex with her?”

            “Not having but had just once and probably never again,” he admitted.

            “Aww were you her first?” She asked and he nodded and she touched him again. “You will get pass this if you love her.”

            “Yeah,” he mumbled feeling like he was in a trance. Then he kissed her.

 

 

            “You told them what?” Nicolas asked his wife.

            “That we would be ok with them getting married after Tony’s graduation,” she repeated.

            “Why would you tell that was ok? Tony is going off to college, why would he want to get married?”

            “They are in love and I told you I don’t think they will actually do it. Was I supposed to say no and they do it anyway?”

            “You could have talked to me about it first,” he said. Not that it would have made much of a difference since she had her mind made up.

            “Yes I know, but you were busy and the kids are my job. Neither of them actually want to get married they are just afraid of what comes after graduation. Tony is going to go off and have the life he has always wanted. And Allie will still be here, not knowing what she wants. She was talking about modeling in New York so getting married would be pointless,” she told him.

            “Do you regret getting married?” He asked and she stared at him in what looked like shock.

            “Why would you ask that?”

            “Because you’re still really young and we haven’t been together very long.”

            “I didn’t regret it but it seems like you,” she said looking hurt.

            “That’s not how I meant it, it was just a question. I always knew I was going to marry you, you know that. You just haven’t gotten the carefree fun that comes with being in your twenties. You’re married, pregnant and still taking care of your siblings. I just wondered if you thought you were missing out,” he explained.

            “What am I missing out on? Dating guys and going out? I didn’t do that before I met you, I was boring,” she shrugged. “Besides I was partially wild and carefree in my teens, so its whatever.”

            “I found out that D and Caroline are married,” he said changing the subject.

            “Really? Though I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, that is a little crazy,” she said.

            “Yeah and he’s still missing, so Heather has been staying with her.”

            “What about Sadie and Tina?”

            “I paid them a visit before our trip, they won’t come back here. But I will find them and they will pay for what they did to you.”

            “If you saw them then why did you let them get away?”

            “Do you really want to know the answer?” He asked and after a moment’s hesitation she nodded. “The thrill is in the chase, I wanted them to run. You know I like a good challenge.”

            “What if they come back here again?” She asked predictably.

            “Not gonna happen, you know I’ll always protect you right?”

            “I know but you let them go so that you can mess with them before you do what? Are you going to kill them?”
            “Again I ask are you sure you really want to know the answer?”

            “No, but tell me anyway.”

            “Yes, I plan to kill them and make them suffer,” he told her.

            “And how was it that you went from being traumatized after what happened with Hannah to killing for fun?” She asked and he considered the question, her expression was guarded so he couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

            “It was a process,” he answered. “Too many things have happened that you have no idea about. You don’t want to know how I lost my soul.”

            That was the truth, no matter what she said she didn’t want to know. And he didn’t want to think about it either. Thinking about that type of stuff would lead him back to thinking of the reasons they shouldn’t be together. Since meeting her, his life was a lot different and he wanted to be a better person for her. But he had to punish Sadie for what she did; there was no way around that. Tina, would suffer by association and because she deserved it. Soon enough he was going to make Owen pay too. Let him think he was safe in jail, but there was no place on earth safe from Nicolas. He knew his wife probably thought he was psychotic and it was probably true. He’d failed to protect her more than once and he had to make it right. What type of man would he be if he couldn’t protect his family?

            All of this was his stupid father’s fault. Emilio was the one that lead them all down the path to evil. That man had a lot of secrets and it was probably best to let them die with him. For some reason Nicolas felt like he needed to keep the old man alive. The reason had to be that it was his father and nothing deeper. Delanoz however was a whole other story and he needed to be put down. It was a rule to never physically harm family, or more like immediate family others were mostly fair game. His brother was very unstable and who knew what he would do next. For some stupid reason he was hesitant to get rid of Delanoz, sometimes he had his uses. He was planning on letting the old man decide Delanoz’s fate. But he wasn’t even sure that would be possible. The sad thing was that the reasons for keeping either of them alive had nothing to do with love.

            “Nick, you have a soul even if it’s a little battered,” Wildflower told him. He hated that she was trying to see good in him where there was none.

            “Maybe, maybe not, but I still think you’re crazy to let them get married,
 he said.

            “Yeah but you love my craziness,” she replied.

            “That is true, I love everything about you,” he said and she smiled.

            “Do you love me enough to take me out for ice cream? I want a sundae,” she said thoughtfully.

            “Of course,” he laughed. She was always craving something these days and he would give her anything she wanted. Good thing she didn’t request that he not get revenge, he would have no choice but to grant that request if she asked.  

 

 

            “Why do you need me to pick you up? Ricky has a car,” Tony said.

            “I did something stupid and I would rather leave before he finds out,” Evan told his brother.

            “What did you do? Did you make a move on his girlfriend?” Tony asked jokingly but Evan was silent.

            “Sort of,” he replied.

            “Seriously!? Why the hell would you do that?”

            “It was an accident, just get over here.”

            “Fine, I’ll be there soon,” Tony said.

            “Thanks,” Evan replied.

            “Oh but you have to tell me what you did,” Tony informed.

            “Yeah sure,” he said and hung up. All his stuff was pretty much ready to go.

            Evan couldn’t believe what he did, it wasn’t him. He would never have done something like this before. So what changed? Sydney did not kiss him back, thank God. She did dash out of the room and he called Tony for a ride home. How was he supposed to face Ricky? Sydney was annoying and an airhead and crazy sexy but she was Ricky’s. And he kissed her, wasn’t his life already screwed up enough? He definitely just made Sammie cry and he kissed Sydney. Of course she was going to tell Ricky, she told him everything. That was why he needed to get away from Ricky before he killed him. Then there was Sammie who he’d already done enough to. His life just seemed to be spinning completely out of control.

            “Going somewhere?” Ricky asked from the doorway.

            “Yeah, Tony’s picking me up, I need to go home,” Evan said.

            “Why? I said I’d take you back tomorrow,” Ricky said.

            “Well uh I said something stupid to Sammie and she’s upset,” he said. That at least was the truth.

            “Hey, what’s going on?” Sydney asked when she came down the hallway.

She didn’t show that anything was wrong and Evan was thankful for that. But she did have a t-shirt and sweatpants on now. Ricky looked at her with an odd expression, and then he looked at Evan. Obviously she didn’t tell him, yet but of course she was going to. Maybe Evan really did need therapy or personality transplant.

“Evan’s leaving,” Ricky answered.

“Why? I thought you were staying the whole week?” She asked like she genuinely cared and didn’t understand.

“I uh just need to go,” he said. Of course his brother looked at him suspiciously but said nothing.

“Oh I was hoping we could get to know better,” she said smiling. She leaned into Ricky a little and nuzzled his neck like a cat. This chick was very weird.

“Why did you change?” Ricky asked her like he expected something.

“Oh I’m cold,” she said dismissively. She pouted a little and he wrapped his arms around her. And she definitely gave Evan a dirty look.

“I would have given you a ride if you’re so desperate to make Sammie cry again,” Ricky said to Evan.

“You aren’t funny and Tony is on his way,” Evan replied.

“Whatever do what you want,” Ricky shrugged and walked away. Sydney didn’t immediately follow him.

“I don’t want things to be weird between us Evan. But I really love your brother and I won’t let anything ruin that. So I’m not going to tell him what you did, just don’t ever let it happen again,” Sydney said seriously. The evil way she was looking at him was pretty shocking. “It was so nice to spend some time with you; we’ll have to get together again soon.” She said back in her perky happy tone, she smiled and walked away.

            Maybe he underestimated Sydney, she wasn’t ditzy at all. More like she was a little bipolar and crazy. And she really did love Ricky it was painfully obvious. It was time for Evan to take control of his life again and get far away from Sydney. He needed to make up with Sammie and never tell her that he kissed Sydney. Just one kiss couldn’t be considered cheating, right? If only Tony didn’t know something happened, then it could have just stayed buried. He was never going to be alone with Sydney again so he was safe, or he hoped so.

            “So what did you do with Ricky’s girlfriend?” Tony asked when they were driving away from Ricky’s apartment building.

            “I kissed her,” Evan admitted. “But it was a mistake and I blame her for being so damn touchy. And she runs around with like nothing on, she was asking for it.” None of that actually excused his behavior, just excuses.

            “Yeah but she wasn’t asking for it from you,” Tony pointed out and laughed. “Lusting after Ricky’s girlfriend and you kissed her, you’re crazy.”

            “Did you see Sammie before you left?” Evan asked changing the subject to what was most important.

            “Uh no, her and Allie were talking or something,” Tony shrugged.

            “Did you tell anybody you were leaving?”

            “Asked Corey if he wanted to come but he was talking to Jenny-bee on the phone. Wildflower and Nick were leaving when I was, they were going out for hot wings and ice cream.”

            “Guess she really is pregnant, huh?”

            “Oh yeah, wait till you see her,” Tony said and paused. “Wanna hear the stupid thing I did that’s worse than what you did?”

            “Sure, what could possibly be worse?” Evan asked, but his brother was suddenly serious.

            “I asked Allie to marry me,” Tony said. For a few moments Evan just stared at him, that had to be a joke, right?”

            “Why the hell would you do that?”

            “It was an impulse sort of thing, I never expected her to say yes. Or that when she told Wildflower that she would say we could actually do it after I graduate.”
            “Are you really going to marry her? What would be the point? Not only are you leaving b ut your girlfriend is kind of a w***e,” Evan said.

            “Don’t say that about her, she isn’t a w***e. Besides I don’t know if I’m really going to do it,” Tony sighed.

            “Are you this serious about her? It’s been a few months and don’t forget your girlfriend has had sex with two of your brothers. And there’s her infatuation with Aaron,” Evan pointed out. He knew he should have been nicer but he couldn’t let his brother do something so stupid.

            “I love her, but yeah I don’t know if I can trust her to be alone. Then again you’ll be here; you can keep an eye on her for me.”

            “I have enough problems in my own life without babysitting Allie. Break up with her, she’s not worth it. All you’re going to do is stress because you won’t know what she’s doing here. Just let it go,” Evan suggested.

            “I’m probably going to marry her, one day maybe not next year. Apparently until we figure it out we’re going to be celibate,” Tony told him.

            “That girl couldn’t be celibate for 24 hours; she’s always all over you. If its not you it will be somebody else,” Evan said seriously. Didn’t he know from his experience with this girl?

            “Can’t you be supportive? Oh guess not when you jump on Ricky’s girl.”

            “That was low, but yeah I get the point. You love her and that’s all well and good but she’s a sex addict.”

            “I know and it was her idea for us not to have sex for awhile.”

            “Know what? I think you’ll be the one to break first. She’ll come crawling in your bed and pout at you and you’ll be done,” Evan said.

            “Eh you’re probably right,” Tony admitted.

            “I should probably break up with Sammie,” Evan said changing the subject.

            “Why? You’ve been in love with her forever, is it because of the sex thing?” Tony asked and Evan shrugged.

            “It’s a lot of things; it’s probably what’s best for her. Every time I talk to her lately I make her cry,” he sighed.

            When they got back to the house he wasn’t sure coming back was a good idea. He ran from one problem now he was back to where the rest of them where. Hadn’t he left home to get away from drama? Sammie didn’t deserve to have to deal with him. If he was capable of good judgment lately then he wouldn’t have gotten into any of these situations. And he wouldn’t be on such bad terms with his brother’s potential fiancé. He thought it was an insanely bad idea for Tony to marry Allie. There were things that he knew about that girl that would make Tony stay away from her. What little good sense he had left kept him for spilling all of her secrets. It wouldn’t do anybody any good; Allie would probably ruin the relationship all on her own without his help.

            Tony suggested that maybe he should talk to Sammie in the morning. But Evan was hardheaded and went to knock on her door. It wasn’t like the “parental figures” were even home. His sister tried really hard but she was his sister and she couldn’t be mean. Nicolas on the other hand was a whole other story. But Evan had no intentions of staying in Sammie’s room he just needed to apologize. Then they could both go to sleep in their own beds and go to school in the morning putting everything else behind them. It occurred to him that he didn’t exactly need to knock since there was no lock on the door. Under the circumstances he figured maybe it was best. She had wanted him to come home. Though that had been before he dragged her back down the road to talking about sex, which was touchy. And it would probably always be touchy. All he could think of while he waited was that he needed to break up with her. Allie of course came to the door because this was just the second worse night of his life.

            “What are you doing here?” Allie asked glaring at him. Of course she was still mad at him but he didn’t care. It surprised him just how much he didn’t care.

            “I live here,” he replied and she rolled her eyes.

            “Do you? It might be best for you to go live somewhere else,” she said.

            “Is Sam still awake?” He asked trying not to let her bait him. Sometimes he wanted to strangle her and was almost certain he could do it. Clearly he’d been in the lawless land of the Caprianis way too damn long.

            “Sammie, do you want to see this loser you use to go out with?” She asked leaning behind the door.

            “Allie,” Sammie said.

            “Fine, whatever,” Allie said. She pulled the door open all the way and walked pass Evan giving him a dirty look. It was weird to see her with her new hair.

            “Hey Sam,” Evan said when he stepped in the room.

            “I thought you were coming home tomorrow?” Sammie asked, she was curled up in her bed and her eyes were definitely red. It was his fault that she had been crying again, he needed to stop hurting her.

            “I’m sorry I upset you Sam, I couldn’t let things be like this,” he told her.

            “So you had Tony pick you up? It’s getting late, we all have school tomorrow,” she said.

            “Samantha, I am sorry I brought up sex I won’t do it again,” he said.

            “Come in,” she said turning and going back to her bed. He came in and closed the door behind him, then joined her on the bed.

            “I really am sorry,” he repeated.

            “Jordan wants me to come stay with him at Tia Carmen’s,” she said. “Before I thought it was stupid and I don’t want to leave your sister or our family. But I’m thinking about it now.”

            “What?” He asked staring at her hoping it was a joke, it wasn’t. “Sam, stay here we can work this out.”

It was funny that this might have been a blessing before but now it was the last thing he wanted. Now he had to do everything he could to convince her to stay before next week when Jordan arrived. Letting her go was not an option no matter what.

 

 

            Caroline was sitting up in bed thinking, she had a problem. Well she had many problems. She married a man that she really didn’t know. Who killed her sister and almost his own father. Now he was missing himself and she was left behind. All her life she felt left behind because she was the youngest of her sisters. That was why she was so anxious to join them on their revenge quest. Then she fell for Delanoz just like they had and here she was. Stupid and soon she was going to be minus two sisters. And Heather told her the truth about Penny. Her whole world was crashing down around her and she just found out she was pregnant. Wasn’t that what she’d wanted? It was what he said he wanted with her. A chance to be a family with at least one of his kids. But she was a fool for believing that of a man with 11children.

            Heather was right that they needed to get out of here and go home. In the morning they had a flight and she was going to go. There was just too much of a risk to sticking around here. Ever since the thing with Delanoz and his father, she’d been researching him. Everything that his sister told her before was true. What was wrong with her that she thought she was special? Didn’t all the others think they were special until he hit them or beat them, or raped them or even killed them? When she took a hard look at her life and really saw clearly what she was getting herself into she regretted it. At the time she couldn’t see pass her love for him. And he seemed to want redemption and like he was going to change. Even he had told her to stay away from him and that she would end up hurt. But the question was now could she have his child?

            Her child would be number 13 and would also be both cousin and sister to her niece Penny. She wasn’t so sure she could give the devil another child. What kind of life would this baby have? Penny was the lucky one to never know him. The eleven others were anything but happy to be his children. They had mothers that were broken from whatever torture he put them through. If she already was this weak, she would never be able to get away. This was her only chance to save herself from this monster. Her mind was made up and her parents were expecting her home. They didn’t know that Tina and Sadie would probably never come home. And she couldn’t be the one to inform them that two of their daughters were marked for death. That wasn’t her place anyway.

Just like she had to live with the decisions she made, all of them bad, they did too. At least she didn’t have on her conscience what Sadie had. Sadie was going to self destruct, she had been a ticking time bomb for years now. At least Caroline could safely say the only person she hurt in all this mess was herself. Delanoz probably wouldn’t even care that she left. Did he ever really truly love her? Before she was so certain that she could change him and that their love was worth fighting for. Now she was certain of the opposite and she was ashamed of herself. Heather said that they never should have used her as bait but it was too late now. Nothing could be changed now. It was what it was and she was putting it behind her. But before she could fall asleep, the bedroom door opened. The light clicked on and he was standing there looking at her.

 

Reviews

[deeps]

Such a wonderful and amazing chapter here.
I really like this full of real honest emotion.
Very well written, enjoyable imagery and
wonderful detail. Awesome chapter!