Allie Chapter 10

(Chapter 10) Homes

Chapter 10

 

“I’m just staying home today because Sammie doesn’t feel well,” Allie said into the phone.

“What’s wrong with her? Why do you need to stay there? Are you just skipping school?” Katrina asked, this was why she never talked to her mother.

“No, Brooke said I could stay with Sam, I’m in my room,” she told her annoyed. “Besides aren’t you supposed to be trying to learn how to trust me? Not that I was the one lying you were mostly lying to yourself.”

“Well you are being evasive when I ask you questions,” Katrina replied.

“Its just Sam’s personal business,” she explained.

“Is she alright?”

“Um not really but she’ll be ok once Wildflower gets home.”

“I thought they were coming home next week?”

“They’re coming home early; they already left yesterday.”

“Alessandra, what is going on over there?” Katrina asked in her suspicious tone.

“Don’t call me that,” she replied.

“I humored you and let you change your name to Sugar for the last five years, I’m your mother I can call you whatever I like.”

“Why are we in counseling if you don’t listen? Do you see you are being hostile,” she said trying to hide her amusement.

“We are doing this so that you and your brother and myself can get along. I am just concerned about what is going on in that house. There is no real adult supervision, well except for Tammy and she’s not a babysitter.”

“You didn’t worry this much about what was going on with me when I lived with you, why do you care so much now? And so you know Brooke and Jay are adults.”

“Now who is being hostile?”

“Katrina, your concern is touching but everything is fine here and my adoptive parents will be back later today. And I guarantee that once Uncle Nick gets back nobody in this house will have any fun at all,” Allie said. That was the real reason why she didn’t want to go to family therapy; she needed to spend some time with Tony. It wasn’t lying though because she really was staying with Sammie.

“What happened? There has to be a reason for that? Should I just call him myself?”

“Nothing, you know him he’s a no fun kind of guy.”

“Are you having sex with whatever boy it is you’re with now?”

“That’s too personal of a question for me to answer,” she replied laughing on the inside. Therapy wasn’t too bad when she got to bring it up to her mother as often as possible to drive her crazy.

“Which boy is it?”

“Tony is my boyfriend and I told you that before, do you see your listening skills need a lot of work.”

“Maybe I need to come over there and I can talk with Tony your boyfriend. That is the type of thing a mother should do, get to know your boyfriend.”

“Why would you do that?” She asked shocked, her mother never cared what went on with her.

“Because you are my daughter and it’s the right thing to do. Tomorrow you and Tony are going to come to dinner with me and you do not get a choice in that. We are supposed to spend some time together and this is how I think we should start,” Katrina said now sounding victorious.

“Fine, as long as you do not bring Markus,” she replied because she had no choice.

“Why is there so much tension between you and your brother?”

“Because he treats me like I’m 10 years old and he doesn’t really like Tony. He thinks boys need to be like at least a mile away from me at all times, please Katrina I will cooperate if you don’t bring him.”

“Alright then, I will see you tomorrow,” Katrina said pleasantly. “Have a good evening Alessandra.”

“You too Katrina,” she said and hung up. She threw her phone to the other end of her bed; she did not want to do this.

“Are you going out with your mom?” Sammie asked, she was leaning in the doorway to the bathroom.

“She wants me and Tony to go to dinner with her tomorrow,” she shook her head.

“Really?” Sammie actually laughed.

“Are you feeling better?”

“I don’t know,” Sammie said she came to sit on the bed. “I feel so stupid and Evan left because of me and he shouldn’t have.”

“He’s just staying with Ricky a few days, he’ll be back.”

“I don’t know about that,” Sammie said looking like she might cry again.

“Sam, talk to me, tell me what’s going on with you.”

“I feel so stupid about all of this; I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just feel wrong, like something in me is broken. Does that make sense? I didn’t want to talk because I didn’t know what to say and I feel so bad about Evan. He didn’t do anything wrong, I just kind of freaked out,” Sammie admitted.

“He’ll come back Sam,” she told her.

“Why should he? Everybody thinks I’m crazy, and I really am.”

“Samantha you just had sex for the first time its kind of a big thing and its ok for you to be a little mixed up. I’m sorry I kept encouraging you and bothering you about it.”

“It’s not your fault, I’m just crazy.”

“I am crazy you are just emotional, it happens,” Allie shrugged.

“Thanks for putting up with me,” Sammie said.

“I should be thanking you for years of my drama,” Allie replied. They hugged, hopefully now Sammie would be ok. Now she had to deal with her own life.

 

 

Wildflower was bouncing her legs again and that got her a dirty look from Nicolas. She had been bouncing up and down in her seat for the last 15 minutes. He had been glaring at her because she had to go to the bathroom but when he offered to stop she decline. Now they were pulling up to the front gate and she had never been happier to see this house. She start throwing her stuff in her bag so she could get out. He parked in the garage and she jumped out of the car.

“Nick I love you,” she said as she headed for the door. “The boys are coming up the driveway they can help carry stuff.”

“If you don’t go in the house right now I’m going to hurt you,” he replied.

“Bye,” she said and went through the door.

“Wildflower,” Brooke called.

“Can’t talk have to pee,” she said going into one of the downstairs bathrooms. When she came out Brooke laughed at her and then hugged her.

“You leave me home with the kids and you barely called, we are so breaking up,” Brooke told her.

“Tara and I shopped a lot I bought back gifts,” she replied.

“We shall see if you can be forgiven,” Brooke said. “You are so getting a little belly, it’s cute.” Of course she rubbed her stomach.

“So how are things?”

“Girls are upstairs and Evan is staying with Ricky.”

“Ok, drag me upstairs,” Wildflower said and Brooke looped her are through hers.

“I never want to have kids just so we are clear, your teen babies are a pain,” Brooke said while they walked up the stairs.

“We need an elevator,” she said.

“I’m surprised there isn’t one; I bet hubby-pie would have one built for you.”

“Probably and then his family can say how I ruined their house.”

“It’s not just his family anymore they are your family Mrs. Capriani.”

“Don’t remind me, my poor baby has their crazy genes.”

“Chris will be over after her last class and she has a lot to tell you,” Brooke informed.

“You the gossip queen aren’t going to tell me?” Wildflower asked surprised.

“Honey, I couldn’t if I tried its crazy,” Brooke replied. They stopped in front of Allie’s open bedroom door and both girls jumped up from the bed and ran to her.

“I’m glad my girls are happy to see me,” Wildflower said untangling herself from them to sit on the bed.

“You are sooo pregnant,” Allie said rubbing her belly.

“Not that much I think its week 13,” she said.

“I’m sorry you came home because of me,” Sammie said.

“Don’t be, I needed to come home,” she said.

“So you are feeling better Sammie?” Brooke asked, she took a seat in the desk chair.

“More or less,” Sammie shrugged.

“Ok girls start talking,” she told them and so they did.

Wildflower sat and listened to what the girls had been up to for the last week and a half. It felt like much longer, but then again she wasn’t use to being away from home. The long drive back home gave her time to think and probably cured her husband of ever wanting to take a road trip again. Her nervous energy basically drove him crazy because she couldn’t sit still most of the trip. Later she would make it up to him, for now she was mothering her girls. She felt incredibly guilty for leaving; she wasn’t usually a selfish person.

The whole long drive Nicolas told her that she was being stupid because she wasn’t selfish. That did nothing to help her mood, her priorities were not straight. Once upon a time she would never have gone away when she had responsibilities. What happened? When did she become a spoiled brat? This was exactly why she hated that she had become so dependent on Nicolas. She use to be independent and now she was Daisy. Her sister had been the damsel in distress type, she always needed to be taken care of and she often only thought of herself. But that was Daisy and she loved her good and bad and everything in between. Somehow she was becoming her sister or at least that was what it felt like. Nobody talked about the things about Daisy they didn’t like because it just wasn’t something you did. However she thought about Daisy all the time and just like when she was alive Wildflower compared the two of them. It was a bad habit that apparently she was never going to grow out of.

Maybe trying to have a honeymoon after the tragedy that was her wedding wasn’t selfish. But she needed to be here for her girls and her brothers. It was her that wanted to keep them here and she knew she couldn’t always be the friend; she had to be the disciplinarian. Thinking back over the last couple months and her seriously lacking parenting skill, she saw problems. She would have never been allowed to stay over a friend’s house with boys when she was a teenager. Her brothers mostly kept boys away anyway, but Ricky would have just looked at her like she was crazy if she asked. When the kids wanted to stay over Abby’s house after homecoming she didn’t really think about it. Everybody knew that Abby’s parents were never home and her sister let her do whatever she wanted. So letting them stay over there was a bad idea.

Considering the fact that Allie was previously completely wild and did whatever she wanted with no consequence, she shouldn’t have let them party either. Her rationalization for everything was that she wanted them to be honest with her and not sneak around. All that did was keep her informed about their lives, the girls told her everything. Her brothers were teenage boys so she didn’t expect them to say much to her. Evan had always been the closest to her and lately he was more distant. But being teased his whole life for being her “baby” probably had him ready for an end to that. He was growing up and he had a girlfriend who he was in love with. She completely believed that Evan and Sammie loved each other.

Love, she found, was easy. It was easy to love someone but everything else was the problem. Sammie was young, she had recently had issues with her mother and her twin moved across country. She was having problems with Jordan and had been acting a little different lately. Wildflower just assumed that Sammie was just being like any other teenage girl, so her moodiness wasn’t a big deal. With Allie constantly in the therapy she should have thought maybe Sammie needed to talk to someone outside of their family. Now here she was crying for days not because something traumatic happened when she had sex. It was because too much happened to her already. And she was confused and emotional and when she felt like she needed someone a person that wasn’t there. Wildflower had always been that person for Sammie. In the time when a girl wanted or needed her mother that was when Wildflower was there. And she had always been there except this one time and that was why she felt guilty.

So for most of that afternoon she stayed with the girls, her girls and let them say whatever they needed to. Sometimes, she was learning, it wasn’t about what you say it was just about being there. She had been playing mommy to both of these girls, for Sammie it was all of her life and for Allie it was the last few years. And she realized the reason this was so important to her was because her own mother was never there for her like this.

 

 

Jose knew he should probably let his brother rest after driving for almost a day straight, but he couldn’t. When he got to the house Nicolas and the boys were dragging stuff in the house so he lent a hand. Apparently his brothers new bride developed a shopping habit. It amused him but them he thought of Jasmine and how she liked to shop. None of that mattered much now, they had a problem. In the past they always solved their problems pretty easy, this time it was anything but easy. Finally he dragged his exhausted brother into the office and locked the door. Nobody else needed to hear this.

“What did you find out?” Nicolas asked sitting behind his desk.

“Caroline is the dumbest person I’ve ever met and she saw D attack the old man. She said she could barely get him to stop choking him and then they left and she hasn’t seen or heard from him since. Heather was there with her, said she kept trying to tell her stupid sister to tell one of us,” Jose told him.

“It’s been a few days,” Nicolas said. “Either he’s killed him or he’s torturing him.”

“I have no idea where they could be, I checked around but I got nothing,” Jose said. He was pacing, he had his issued with his father but he didn’t want him dead.

“This is just between us, right?”

“Yeah, I haven’t said a word.”

“We just have to check everywhere, starting with any property owned by the company. For all we know he could have taken him out of the country,” Nicolas sighed.

“Look I’ll get started on it and you need to rest,” he told him.

“Thanks mom but I’m fine,” Nicolas replied.

“No, we’ll find them but you are useless half dead and I’ll tell your wife on you.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too little brother,” Jose said heading for the door. “Sleep and I will update you; once you’re rested you can pull a miracle out your a*s like always.”

“Yeah whatever, I will sleep though for a couple hours,” Nicolas said.

“Alright I’m on the case,” Jose said then he left. This was definitely not the way he should have been spending his day. He said a silent prayer that his father was still alive, because if he wasn’t then Hell was pretty much coming to earth.

 

 

After talking with Sammie, Wildflower and Brooke for a few hours, Allie headed down the hall. She had considered going to the kitchen for food lie the others but she had to talk to Tony. Even more so now because of all that damned girly talking. This was why in the past she had no emotions when it came to guys and sex. She could not stop thinking about Tony leaving her and she had a feeling that it wasn’t going to be ok. Before when he was horny he was all for a long distance relationship but that was pre-scholarship. When he found out he got it he wants sex, she was use to being used. They hadn’t talked about it again after that crappy a*s day.

The trouble she was having was that she knew in her heart no matter how much she loved him; he was going to hurt her. That was what they all did. All men hurt her; if she wasn’t a sex addict she would have seriously contemplated life as a nun. Not that she was even certain if she believed in God so that made it difficult. How could she believe after everything that happened to her? Just another man to hurt her, the list was ever growing. She was not all that happy when she go to his room, the door was open he was at his desk. He looked up as if sensing her even though she made no sound and waved her in.

“I’m pretty much done, did you need something?” He asked, there was a twinge of lust in his eyes. Instead of sitting on his lap, like she usually did she sat on the bed.

“Uh I was talking to the pain in the a*s Katrina and she wants to take us to dinner tomorrow. Or she’s forcing me to bring you, that’s more accurate,” she told him.

“What your mom wants to get to know me?” He asked while shuffling papers around. Unlike her he was always organized and was a little anal about it.

“That’s what she said,” Allie sighed.

“Something else on your mind? I don’t mind going to dinner with your mom, I’ve impressed a few parents in the past,” he said.

“I don’t really care what her opinion of anything is,” she shrugged.

“Then what is bothering you?” He asked, he scooted the chair away from the desk so that he was in front of her. “My Allie is not one to hide her emotions.” He lifted her chin and studied her face.

“Tony, what’s our plan now? We know where you are going so what are we going to do? I know before you said that we would stay together but are we really going to?” She asked, that made him sit back in his chair and he hesitated before saying anything.

“Do you want to stay together? Now we see each other a lot because we live together and go to school together. Once I’m away I won’t see you for long periods of time,” he said.

“I know that,” she whispered.

“Allie, I love you but it might be for the best for us to be apart,” he said.

“Why? You have to come home eventually and I can talk Katrina into buying me a car so I can come see you,” she said. Indeed it sounded more pathetic out loud.

“Can you honestly say that with me not here that you wouldn’t be tempted to be with anyone else?” He asked and he had the nerve to look her in the eyes while he broke her heart.

“I knew it would come to this,” she sighed. There were tears in her eyes and she did not want to cry in front of him but the choice was out of her hands.

“What am I supposed to say? You want me to lie to you and tell you that’s not what I think will happen? I can’t do it and I can’t be worried about you with somebody else,” he said.

“Why do you think I would cheat on you? I thought you trusted me but obviously I’m just a w***e who’s not worth it,” she said with tears running down her cheeks.

“Come on let’s be serious here, you can’t go for more than a few days without having sex. We won’t see each other often enough to satisfy your addiction.”

“Really? Thank you so much Tony for proving how stupid I am to trust you. Thank you for throwing back in my face things that I tell you too. This was such a huge mistake and so you know I never would have cheated on you. But you can go to hell,” she said. She got up from the bed and left her bracelet in his lap on her way across the room. He grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his arms before she could get to the door.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in her ear. He wouldn’t let go and she was weak and pathetic so she let him hold her while she cried. “Allie I don’t want to leave you.”

“What?” She asked confused looking up at him.

“I don’t have to go,” he said avoiding her eyes.

“Tony you can’t stay here for me.”

“Why not? What’s a year? We can go together when you graduate.”

“No, for one thing Ricky would kill me if I messed this up for you. Besides I’m not that selfish despite what you may think of me,” she said and pulled away from him.

“If I go then I’ll lose you,” he said.

“Why would you care? You think I’m just some sex crazed w***e.”

“I never said that, I just truthfully said that you have a problem and we both know that. Of course I wouldn’t complain about us having sex but I won’t be here and you will. Who’s bed will you crawl in late at night if I’m not in mine?”

“Nobody’s dumb a*s, knowing how stupid and pathetic I am I would have just slept in your bed,” she admitted. Oh how she hated herself she needed to get away from him, not that he could really hurt her more at this point. So once again she went for the door and again he wouldn’t let her leave.

“Stop running away,” he said.

“You really suck at breaking up because this is where you let me leave.”

“I’m not letting you go, we will fix this,” he said. He pulled her back to the bed and made her sit with him; he wouldn’t let her hand go.

“What do you want from me? One minute you think I’d cheat on you and the next you want to give up what you worked for to stay with me. And that means you want me to die when your brother finds out how stupid you are.”

“You really are a pain in the a*s you know? I say I want to stay here with you and you think that’s like the worse thing in the world, Ricky would get over it.”

“No he wouldn’t, I’ve seen the man hold a grudge and I’ve seen him and Isaiah trying to beat the crap out of each other. Remember I’ve been hanging around your family for years, and they would all hate me. That’s what you want? For everybody that I care about to hate me?”

“Nobody would hate you, it’s my life and my decision,” he shrugged.

“Again I ask what do you want?”

“You, that’s all I want and you are more important than anything else,” he told her. For a minute she just stared at him, this wasn’t what she expected at all.

“Don’t do this, not to yourself or your family or me,” she said. “It’s just a year.”

“A lot can happen in a year,” he replied.

“Yeah but you would have to trust me like I would trust you not to be with some skank shaking her a*s at you. If you can’t trust me that much then we shouldn’t be together at all,” she told him.

He didn’t answer her right away, just stared at her and shook his head. Then he got up and started pacing, still no answer. This was just the sort of crap she needed to avoid. Their relationship was obviously over if he couldn’t answer the question. Never ever again, no more stupid guys making her think stupid things. Waiting for his answer seemed pointless so she got up, that made him come back and pushed her back down. When was the torture ever going to end?

“Marry me,” he said and she swore her heart stopped.

“W-what? We can’t get married we are both 17.”

“Yeah and next year we will both be 18,” he said. Why did he seem serious?

“Getting married would not change the fact that we are going to be apart.”

“I know but it’s the ultimate commitment and I could see us together permanently,” he said.

“If you think I will cheat on you now why would being married stop me?”

“The point is that I trust you not to cheat, and I’m showing you how committed I am to us,” he said. It was hard to look away from those eyes of his, she was always lost in them.

“Tony, have you really thought this through? We haven’t even been together that long and nobody in our family would be ok with this.”

“I’ve loved you for a long time and it’s not lie we would be getting married tomorrow, just before I leave.”

“I love you,” that was all she could say. The right thing to do was to tell him no and that it was way too crazy of a thing to do. Instead she just nodded and he kissed her. Nobody ever accused her of knowing what the right thing was anyway.

 

 

Sammie didn’t want to go to school on Tuesday but she got up anyway. This was the only way for her to see Evan. Calling him would have been easy but she needed to see him face to face. So she waiting for him at his locker before school started and he did not look that happy to see her. She just simply told him that she wanted to talk to him at lunch and he at least agreed to it. It was a little awkward between them but he did walk her to class like he would have on a normal day but of course he didn’t kiss her. Lunch time came and she was way too nervous to eat, she waited for Evan on a bench in the quad away from everyone else. Apparently he couldn’t eat either because he came over to her just carrying two bottles of water and handed one to her.

“Talk,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“What’s going on with you Sam? You told me you wanted it and then you act like I forced you into this. Is that what you think?” He asked, he was hurt and she felt horrible about that.

“No, I made the decision myself to go be with you and it’s not your fault. I just kind of lost it, that’s why your sister is taking me to Allie’s high priced therapist tomorrow,” she sighed.

“Talk to me and tell me what’s really bothering you if its not sex,” he said looking concerned.

“Ok so I guess I’m just really emotional because a lot has been going on lately. Jordan left, my mother couldn’t care any less about me and well you know I was feeling a little lost. Then there was the thing with your sister and I just kinda had a breakdown, life is just too much. So by the time that we did that I was already falling apart and I’m sorry. This had nothing to do with you,” she told him. In her 15 years of living she didn’t cry more than she had the past few days and her eyes were tearing up now.

“If something was wrong why wouldn’t you just talk to me?”

“Because I didn’t really acknowledge there was anything actually wrong. My mom’s a flake ok I know that but she was so eager to just get rid of me. And then Jordan and I are basically not talking we had a fight before when he was here and he doesn’t want to talk to me. That was my family, it was always the three of us even when things were bad or when she was chasing after some rich man or trying to get more money out of my dad. Oh and not to mention my dad is a murderer and his girlfriend isn’t much older than I am. And I almost forgot about how much I hate the freaking summer; do you have any idea how awful it is to see all of my siblings? For one thing there is no reason anybody should have 11 kids by 9 different mothers, that’s sick. But I get to spend the summer with people I only see once a year and I barely know them,” she said. The tears were freely flowing down her face now, she was a train wreck.

“Come here,” Evan said and pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry that you were hurting and I didn’t realize it.”

“Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.”

“Part of it is, I knew you weren’t ready but I was selfish.”

“You’re very not selfish; remember I’ve known you forever.”

“Yes you have,” he whispered and kissed her forehead.

“I love you Evan and it wasn’t your fault and I’m so sorry I made it seem lie it was you,” she whispered back.

“I love you too,” he said hugging her tighter.

“Please come home,” she said.

“Not right now,” he replied surprising her.

“Why not?”

“It’s not really you I just need some time away,” he said.

“Are you going to come back?”

“Yeah it’s just this week; I promise I’ll come back.”

“So are we going to be ok?”

“We’re good, just in the future talk to me if something is bothering you.”

“I will,” she nodded. She didn’t expect him to kiss her at all but he did and she kissed him back. “Evan, what about all the sex stuff?”

“No offense Sam but after this whole thing I don’t want to go there again.”

“Guess we’re back to taking it slow?”

“Pretty much,” he said at least he smiled a little. “So how is my sister?”

“She’s like glowy happy and she’s starting to get a little belly. I feel horrible that I am the reason her trip was cut short,” she sighed.

“It’s Wildflower if you sneezed she’d come running to take care of you, that’s how she is,” he said and she laughed. That was kind of true.

“I hope I’m not the cause of everybody losing their doors,” she said.

“That would be wonderful,” he shook his head.

Sammie kissed him and it caught him off guard, he was always the one to kiss first. Her life was a huge disaster, but she needed him to know that she still loved him. Saying it was one thing but she wanted to show him. Even if their relationship was back to a slow crawl and there was barely a difference between it and being friends, she loved him. One day, probably not any time soon she would be ok with doing more than kissing but for now this was what she was comfortable with. Now she just had to figure out the rest of her life and it wasn’t going to be easy.

 

**********

After school Evan still hung around late to be with Sammie for a little while before Ricky came to pick him up. Part of him knew it was probably best to tell her that maybe they needed a break from each other, but he couldn’t. Especially not when she was crying again. He’d grown up with Sammie and never knew her to cry like she had been or be so emotional. And he hadn’t at all realized how much being away from her family affected her. Her mother was pretty bad at parenting but he could understand that it hurt to just be tossed aside. Like you aren’t important, oh how he knew that from his own mother. He had 8 brothers and they were more or less all close and so he could get that her distance with her siblings bothered her. And Jordan had been his friend before but he basically hated Evan now because he was with Sammie.

He felt guilty because he was the reason Sammie and Jordan had a fight. Jordan wanted her to come to New York and get away from the influence of her friends and away from Evan. Almost everybody knew that Evan had once had his thing with Allie so of course Jordan didn’t want them together. But Evan never once tried to pressure Sammie into anything, no matter what he wanted. He was a guy, he was human so he liked sex it wasn’t a big deal. And it didn’t both him that Sammie was a virgin and had no experience with anything. In the beginning it was just a challenge he was going to have to get through and that was fine. And there was an appeal to being with a girl that hadn’t been with anyone else.

The few times that they ever messed around she was the one who brought it up, and said she was curious. How could he say no to that? He was obviously very attracted to her that was part of the reason they were together. Naturally he would never turn down sex with his girlfriend but that whole mess made him reluctant to ever touch her again. Yeah there were about a million reasons for her to have issues with life, he got that. But it was just the way she acted, like he had done something horrible to her. She didn’t have to say it, just the way she looked that night. It was enough to keep him away and that was why he didn’t want to go home yet. Eventually he would just not today; he needed space and time to think. Was this relationship really worth it? It had been almost 6 months and usually he didn’t do the relationship thing.

In the past Evan’s philosophy on dating was that he needed to have fun while he was young. Obviously being bad at relationships ran in the family. It still shocked him that Isaiah married Christina, they were the worst couple when everybody lived together. And Jay had been with Brooke for awhile and Wildflower just got married. Apparently this was a good year for relationships. He sort of envied Tony’s relationship with Allie and it wasn’t because he wanted her but he want more. Him and Sammie were basically friends who kissed sometimes and maybe he wasn’t the right one for her. Having too much time to think wasn’t necessarily a good thing. He wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore, but he did not want to hurt her.

“So did you see Sammie today?” Ricky asked on their way to his apartment.

“Yeah, we talked and apparently she’s having a lot of problems that don’t involve sex but just about everything else in the world. She’s hurt that her mother doesn’t care and her loser brother is being an a*s to her and I don’t she’s being really emotional. Its weird she was never lie that before,” he told his brother.

“But you aren’t ready to go back yet?”

“Not really unless you’re kicking me out to be with your girlfriend.”

“She isn’t my girlfriend she becoming a pest,” Ricky shook his head.

“She’s in love with you isn’t she?” Evan asked his brother actually nodded. “How can she be in love with you if she knows you are gay?”

“Because she’s crazy? I swear every f*****g day she’s talking about getting married and having children.”

“Really? Why do you keep seeing her then?”

“Because she has a key and won’t go away,” Ricky replied.

“Uh huh and why do you keep having sex with her?” Evan asked that was a question everybody in their family wanted to know.

“Boredom? I really don’t know, she’s there practically living with me its nice to have somebody around. She wants me to meet her parents and all this dumb s**t and I feel bad. All this started because I guess I was having a midlife crisis and wanted to prove I could still be with a woman if I wanted. Yeah I know I make absolutely no sense.”

“How is it that you can have sex with her anyway? Do you take pills or something? That would be beyond amusing.”

“I don’t thank you; we just you know have sex. Then again I guess you wouldn’t know anymore, huh?”

“And won’t for a very long time,” Evan sighed. It was a terrible shame that his brother who was admittedly gay could have sex with his non-girlfriend but he couldn’t do anything. “So if you were to marry her then what she expects you to be straight?”

“No, she says she accepts me as I am and doesn’t mind anything discreet.”

“Your girlfriend is crazy,” Evan said he was in shock.

“I told you she’s crazy, I bet she’s making us dinner,” Ricky shook his head. “I do care about her but even if I was considering marrying her and doing all this crap it wouldn’t be any time soon. Even though I’ve been through the whole raising kids thing, it might be nice to have a family that’s mine that I choose to have.”

“Did you hate taking care of us?”

“Yes, only because let’s see Iris was lazy and got on my last nerve and I guess karma is paying her back now with her situation. Isaiah I contemplated killing almost everyday. Daisy was always so self-centered and the rest of you weren’t so bad. I guess I’d rather it have been me than for someone to split up our family. I have no regrets, well except that I didn’t do better with Daisy,” he shrugged.

“You couldn’t have saved Daisy from herself,” Evan pointed out.

“No I couldn’t nobody could have, nobody talks about that though. Daisy was no saint unless you ask Marguerite but then again what the hell does she know?”

“Are you ever going to forgive her?”

“Your mother you mean? Probably not but I will deal with her being around because of Wildflower. Isaiah will never ever forgive her and I’m guessing neither will you, is that correct?” He asked looking over at him.

“Could you forgive somebody that told you most of your life that you were a mistake and that she wished for an abortion?”

“No, I get why you’re pissed and you should be, no mother should behave that way. And 7 year olds should not be responsible for babies either,” he sighed. “She wasn’t always like this, that’s why it’s hard to forgive her. Yeah she had a lot of kids and she was on her own but that’s no excuse for what she’s done. All she had to do was be an adult and I get that she got married really young and she lost the love of her life. I would have forgiven her for taking my life away, but she just can’t stay on her damn meds.”

“What was it like when um you had two parents?” Evan asked and his brother looked at him sadly.

“Normal, believe it or not everything was like a normal family. Uh Dad loved kids a lot obviously and wanted big strong sons, family was everything to him. He was happy when she was pregnant with you, don’t let her tell you any different he wanted you,” Ricky told him. He parked his car in the lot outside his apartment building and they got out.

“So do your girlfriend’s parents know you’re gay?” Evan asked to lighten the mood on their way up the stairs.

“Nope, I don’t exactly want to meet her parents it’s awkward. Isn’t bad enough I have to deal with my own family? I know all of you think I’m crazy, I pretty much am but I tell you she won’t go away,” Ricky said. The door to his apartment was unlocked and there was Sydney in the kitchen cooking.

“Hi guys,” Sydney greeted happily. She rushed over to kiss Ricky, it was pretty obvious she loved him but it seemed like the feeling was mutual.

“You didn’t say you would be by today,” Ricky said. She was plastered to him and he was holding her around the waist.

“I wanted to surprise you,” she said smiling at him. “And Evan doesn’t need to eat out every night while he’s here.”

“He can feed himself,” Ricky said.

“You two make such a cute couple,” Evan said with a smile.

“That is so nice of you to say,” Sydney said.

“It’s true,” he said. His brother glared at him then he went off into the other room amused. Yup, it was awful that his gay bother did more with his clingy crazy girlfriend.

Reviews

[deeps]

This is one excellent chapter here. I really enjoyed this chapter. Such wonderful detail and imagery. Well written