Tempted

 

                     He drummed his fingers on the desk again, and then looked to the clock on the wall. This day seemed like it would never end, he still had so much work to do, but as he looked down at the papers all over his desk, he knew it wasn’t going to get done. After agonizing a few more minutes, he got up and went to the window, there just didn’t seem to be a point anymore. Any focus he might have was all falling into a pit of thoughts about Sophia, again. This was really starting to get to him, his best friend’s fiancée, who he knew was really meant for him. There was just no way that she could really love Alan, but then again what exactly did he know about love?

          “You’re driving me crazy,” Erica said when she came in. He’d known she’d be by sooner or later; he didn’t even bother to turn to her. “Honey you can’t keep living like this,” she told him. She lay against his back; this whole thing was beginning to annoy her, a lot. No matter how hard she tried his mind always ended up back in that sea of hopelessness known as Sophia, but still she didn’t give up. In a pure act of pure desperation she slid her arm around his waist, her long fingers curling over his belt buckle. He responded to this by finally turning to her and taking her into his arms, he kissed her neck and she smiled her devious smile.
          “You know I have all this s**t to do,” he whispered as he pulled her closer to him.
          “Well I’m bored,” she said laying her head against his bare chest. Everyday when she came over he was like this, shirtless and barefoot in a pair of shorts. This obsession thing was really starting to take a toll on him; he never really left this apartment either. What he was supposed to be doing was writing his book and working, which she knew he wasn’t doing. No he was too busy slowly but surely going insane, all because of Sophia, Erica was getting more annoyed by the minute. Why had she bothered to come over again anyway? Was it already that much of a habit that she just had to do it? She really hoped it wasn’t becoming a habit that would really be a problem.

He ran his fingers through her long curly hair, kissing her some more. It seemed like for him, right now especially she was the only thing that could get his mind off of Sophia. His hand slipped over the curve of her back, sliding along the silky black and pink lace dress she was wearing. Right now he wanted to love her, for her to be his Sophia, but she was Erica and that was who she’d always be. Miss super b***h and Miss Perfect at the same time, she put on this great show for the entire world to see. But for as icy as she acted sometimes he knew she really wasn’t like that. It was her friends that were bitchy and evil, Erica came there everyday to check up on him and basically take care of him. She was a really sweet person, but still she wasn’t Sophia. She was the distraction from Sophia.

“I’ll go since you have work,” she said as he’d started slipping his hand up her thigh and under her dress.

This was wrong; she knew that, she always knew that. But he was so sweet and tempting that she couldn’t help it, besides that he was really vulnerable. His love for Sophia made him stupid, so he let himself be Erica’s play thing. Which on some level she was starting to feel guilty for, and it was crazy because she never felt guilty. She pulled away from him, and walked away into the living room, he stayed there leaning against the wall as she went into the kitchen. Although she was sure opening the refrigerator would be a waste of time, she did so anyway. Inside was only a half case of beer and a box of pizza, which she knew had been in there for over a week now.
          “Why do you tease me?” He asked when she appeared back in the living room, she was picking up pillows off the floor. All this cleaning she did around here amused him to no end, because he knew she didn’t do any such thing at home.
          “Hun, I have a million and one things to do, I only came to check on you,” she said picking up dishes and taking them into the kitchen. “I’m supposed to be out shopping,” she called out. “If I come back empty handed James will be suspicious,” she said coming back in.

Every time something was bothering her, which was all the time these days, she would be all domesticated and clean stuff. His favorite distraction was distressed and he figured it had to be James; again, he was her only problem. “Hmm I’ll have to send you dinner, and don’t fight it you have to eat,” she said. She was so graceful and beautiful, for as much as he knew she hated what he was doing to himself, he hated what she did to herself. Her fake happy marriage was her real problem, yet all she did was pretend. “You know week old pizza and beer doesn’t count as a meal right?” He just shrugged, if he wanted to be babied he go home to his mother, Erica for all her faults would make such a great mother. But he wanted her for a whole different reason, he refused to move from where he stood and he didn’t want to say a word, for fear of what he’d do. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but it was pointless, she was who she was raised to be and she wasn’t going to change, not even for him.

“Fine ignore me all you want,” she said looking up at him. She crossed the room coming back to him; he pulled her close to him, holding her around her thin waist.
          “When are you gonna leave him?” He asked she pulled away; there it was what he’d been holding back.
          “Don’t ask stupid questions,” she said, “Danny go do your work. Go write your book or obsess over you best friend’s pregnant fiancée, but don’t try to fix me. You’re the one sleeping with a married woman, so don’t act all high and mighty.” The one thing that always set her off was this conversation, yeah he was wrong but so was she. She walked across the room towards the door; he knew he’d really pushed her this time.
          “Erica he’s no good for you and I told you that before you got married and I’ll tell you everyday if I have to,” it was dumb to push her further, but it had to be said.
          “What should I have married you?” She asked finally turning back to him; she really wanted his response to that. But she knew he wouldn’t answer, it always came down to this.
          “Stay here awhile,” he said crossing the room to her; he was of course ignoring her question completely.
          “No Danny, we’re over, I can make this work with James,” she said while reaching in her purse. This was really for the best, he needed to work and she needed to deal with her marriage that was falling apart.
          “Erica,” he didn’t know exactly what he could do now, this was a mistake. Waking up today had been a mistake, staying here, getting further into this relationship with her, it was only trouble.
          “Goodbye,” she said placing her key on the table and walking out the door. He stood there staring after her, why did this whole thing have to be so much trouble? Why did he have to be in love with Sophia and Erica? Neither was his, both were taken, he opened the door to follow her out. His bare feet cold on the cement, this was after all, his fault because he just had to bring it up.

 

Erica quickly pulled out her phone, she knew he'd follow, he was so predictable. "Cammie I'm on my way," she said before Cammie could say a word.

          "Ok, I'll meet you I'm just finishing up a lesson," she said. The sound of Erica's voice made her quite aware that something had happened and she knew it had to be in regards to one of three people Danny, James or Sophia, if not all of them. "Oh but I think Matt's still there," she went on. It was good that it was Erica, because she wasn’t sure about her friends meeting him just yet. Since Erica was over a lot she’d met him before and besides that she would never be a complete b***h to him like the others would. And right now it really sounded like she needed a friend right now.

          "Ok," Erica said silently hoping that Cammie's new guy wasn't there, she didn't want to have to be nice today. "See you soon," she said then quickly hung up the phone, she could hear Danny's footsteps. She opened the door to her car, this had been a gift from James last year on her birthday, and she threw the phone on the passenger seat. Before she could get in herself Danny grabbed her arm, she reluctantly turned to him.

          "Erica," he said unsure of what was to follow. The truth was that she needed to go be where she belonged, but he really couldn't stand to lose her. This was such a huge mess, she stared him straight in the eyes, her penetrating gaze made it hard for him to think. All he could think of was her glowing honey skin and her forceful gaze; her dark eyes could tear anybody apart. "I'm sorry," he said, she was silent.

          "Come out with me," she said, knowing that it was dumb to chance that. But she also knew that he wouldn't, she was sick of all this fighting. If she wanted someone to fight then she could've just stayed home, she was sure James would find a new reason to be an a*s today. Maybe she wouldn't go home since she could just stay at Cammie’s; though James would most likely come there to look for her first.

          "I have work," he said but they both knew it was just an excuse. This was the first time in awhile that he'd actually come out of his apartment, between his brother dying and Sophia his life was falling apart. She pulled away from him, but he grabbed her again and kissed her, she pull away immediately. It was one thing to mess around with him upstairs behind closed doors, but this was all out in the open and there was no way she’d let this dirty little secret out. She slid into the driver's seat of her car; she couldn't bring herself to look at him. "Erica, don't be like this," he said. The exact instant after he said that he regretted it, she turned to him with those piercing eyes of hers.

          "Honey, there's a reason I married James and not you and no it wasn't the money or my family," she said. There was just no way to really break up with him and not be as cruel as she possible could be. "James and I have shared more together then you will ever know," she said pulling the door shut. "But I think I'll go pick up Sophia, we have shopping to do for her baby," she said. "Ya know the baby she's having with Alan; you're life sucks doesn't it? I turned you down; you lusted after your dead brother's wife who now happens to be your best friend's very pregnant fiancée, what do you have left to lose?" He had nothing to say, except maybe if he told her he really did love her, but what good would that do? She'd go tell her bitchy friends all about it and they'd laugh while they sipped their martinis at one of her father's hotels. The truth was that she was right, he had nothing at all, but also he didn't deserve her. At least not right now, she would be his in time, she was hurting and so she lashed out at him. But right now he really needed to sort out this thing with Sophia, the truth was that he could live without Sophia, but he needed Erica.

          "You're not happy with him, you'd probably hate me if you stayed with me, so don't worry about me," he said. "Go be with him and take care of Sophia, you can't fool me Erica I know you too well. We can talk later once you've cooled down," he said walking away. She just drove off without another word, he wasn't sure but he hoped he'd gotten to her good side. He walked back up the steps to his apartment and once inside he picked up his phone and dialed, it was a beautiful day. There really was no point to sitting in here now; it wasn't like he was going to concentrate on his work. What he really needed was a way to get both Erica and Sophia off of his mind, if that was at all possible.

 

Cammie ran as fast as she could up the boardwalk, she'd just had enough time to store her board after her lesson. Something was up with Erica; it was a good thing that she hadn't gotten in the water today. As she came to the end of the boardwalk with all the excitement of the parties and stores and tourists, her picturesque beach house came into view. And she could see Matt and Erica out on the porch talking; it was so great that Erica liked Matt. Their overly critical and bitchy friends wouldn’t understand they hated every guy she talked to much like her parents.

          "Hey," she gasped sprinting up the steps and on to the pouch. Matt grabbed her so she wouldn't fall over; he knew how she got when she ran home from the beach.

"You didn't have to rush," Erica told her, she just shrugged hugging her.

"It's whatever," she simply replied. Then she turned to give Matt a quick kiss, he knew it was his exit cue.

"I've got work, so I'll catch ya later," he said. "It was nice to see you again Erica," he said kissing her hand, she smiled. He grabbed his book bag off a chair and kissed Cammie, she almost didn't want him to go. "Bye," he said heading down the steps and up back towards the boardwalk.

"Bye," they said together watching him disappear.

"Come on," Cammie said pulling the door open, Erica followed. "So who was it this time?" She asked getting straight to the point, she threw her bag on the kitchen table and sat up on the counter.

"I was just with Danny," Erica said leaning her back against the counter beside Cammie. "We had a fight again because of Sophia and the fact that I’m with James," she was sick of fighting and even thinking of it. She couldn't leave James so there was really no point in thinking about the past, what's done is done.

"That guy has serious issues," Cammie said while. She picked up her grey tabby cat Jinx, off of the window sill. "Forget all of that," she suggested, "we need to go out," she decided. She hopped down off the counter holding the cat under her arm; she pulled Erica down the hall.

          "It's been forever," Erica said as Cammie pulled her into her bedroom. Cammie put the cat down on the floor and went straight into her huge walk in closet. When they were younger they'd dress crazy and go out to all the parties and clubs. Lately everything had just been too crazy for any childish fun, but that was what she loved about Cammie. Cammie was the same person she had been when Erica first met her in the 9th grade, of course they hadn't been friends back then, but she was the same. She just had this timeless childlike attitude towards life that you just couldn't help but to pick up on when you were around her.

          "We can go to the promenade or roam the boardwalk," Cammie called out. Her blonde head appeared for a second, and then disappeared again just as quickly. Erica just kicked off her shoes and sat on Cammie's bed, which surprisingly wasn't messy, so she figured that Matt must've made the bed, Cammie would never do so. She came back out of the closet with an armful of clothes and dumped them on the bed. "We can go out in bikini tops and mini skirts, and be princesses," she said grabbing a silver tiara off of her dresser and placing it on Erica's head.

          "Brilliant," Erica said as they went through the mess of clothes on the bed. "So tell me what’s up with you and Matt," she said. The look Cammie got on her face, those flushed and that twinkle in her eyes, it said a lot more then Cammie could.

          "It feels like its heading for that awful serious phase, but I love being with him,” she said trying to avoid looking at Erica. “And it’s like it never gets old or boring," the way she kept pausing and that smile on her face gave it all away. "He's a really great surfer, I’m so jealous," she said looking down at her pink bikini top. She studied the pattern on it so she wouldn't have to look at Erica who was watching her so closely that she could feel Erica's dark eyes following her.

"You're in love with him aren't you Camryn?" Erica said, suddenly Cammie's deep tan skin was a deep red.

          "We don't love," she said, those were after all the rules, they weren't suppose to love. "Let's just get ready," she didn't want to think of this any further. She liked the way everything was with Matt and irrelevant emotions like that weren't going to get in the way of her present state of happiness.

          "Hey what's going on?" Came a voice that ended the conversation, they looked to the door where a girl with blonde hair stood.

          "Hey Lo," Cammie called gesturing for her to come in. "Lo, this is my bestest friend Erica and Erica this is my surf baby Lola," she said. Lola very politely extended her hand to Erica; she hadn't ever met Cammie's rich friends. This friend was breath takingly gorgeous; it was so hard to believe Cammie was one of these girls. Cammie had permanently messy and salty curly blonde hair and you rarely saw her in anything that wasn't a bikini top.

          "Would you like to hang out with us Lola?" Erica asked, Cammie had mentioned before the little 13 year old girl that came out surfing with her and was always around the beach.

          "I'd love to," she said sitting down on the bed and picking through Cammie's clothes. When she came in and saw Erica in her very expensive looking dress, she'd felt a little awkward, but now her bikini top and cut off shorts didn't seem so bad. She really hadn't expected any of Cammie's friends to be this nice, but then again you'd never expect Cammie to be the way she was either with her upbringing and all.

 

 

          "You've finally ventured out," Eve said when Danny finally arrived to meet her. They were having dinner at her favorite seaside restaurant. He kissed her cheek and took a seat across from her.

"Thanks for coming," he said taking in the beautiful atmosphere, he hadn't been here in a long time.

          "You sounded distressed," she said dismissively. The fact was that she had been worried about him and if he was finally coming out of hibernation then she had to be here, he'd been acting so strange lately.

          "I had a fight with Erica," he said. But that really was only one of his minor problems; he still had to go to Sophia and Alan's party tomorrow night. He had no choice but to attend, being that he was Alan's best friend and soon he'd be named best man. His only hope to escape all the insanity was Eve, she was the only person in the world he knew he could always trust and tell everything thing to.

          "Stay away from that girl, she's poison, she'll get you killed," she said, But she knew she wasn't really getting anywhere; he was a little puppy when it came to that girl and she controlled him like a puppet. "She's married," she said hoping he'd actually realize that. Eve could remember how torn up he'd been about Erica marrying James, he was worse then he was now. Even though it was pretty much common knowledge to the world that Erica would marry James one day. Then he'd began to recover when Erica came back into his life almost 6 months later, she'd come over crying because she hated her marriage. Then everything got so much worse when his brother died, Danny started to withdraw from everybody until he never came outside. He had his work delivered to his door and had his neighbor's kid bring up his mail, and Erica was the only one he every really let visit.

          "She doesn't love him, she wants to be with me, she's just afraid," he said. Never had he dared say that aloud, he felt like maybe he was being pathetic and desperate, but it was the truth. "Sophia's baby might be mine," he said before he could control himself. Eve's deep green eyes were focused on him, why had he just sprung it on her like that? Well he hadn't really talked to anybody about it, except Erica who knew because Sophia told her.

"Oh my god," was all she could say, she knew there had to be more to it then just this obsession with Erica.

          "I think she'll do something to make sure if it's mine then nobody'll know," he knew that if she got a test done she'd get Erica to help. He was hoping that Erica’s good side would come through for him because he was sure it was his baby.

"Daniel, I told you not to get mixed up in all that s**t with those rich girls," she said after considering his situation. "I told Ben that too, before then he married one, why don't ya'll ever listen to me?" She asked he got a slightly distant look because she mentioned his brother, but he smiled.

          "I told you not to sleep with my brother and to stay away from the jock king," he said and she laughed.

Since they were in high school and Eve came to live out here, they'd been best friends. Even when she had her little thing with his brother, and here they were years later and still friends. What brought them together was their messed up and quite disturbed lives. When they met he'd met her was when he was spending the summer with his cousin, who was completely in love with her sister and was paying to sleep with her. Then a month or so went by and he'd gone back home and she'd gone to a new foster home.

"You're my date tomorrow though, right? Jock boy don't mind do he?" He needed her to be there, he hadn't been in the same room with Erica and Sophia since his brother's funeral, but that was a long time ago; but not long enough.

          "Neil is out of town still, so I'm all yours," she really wanted to show these rich b*****s a thing or two. They acted like they owned the world and had the right to mess with people's lives, the way Erica and Sophia just messed with Danny’s head was disgusting.

          "Evey, you're a life saver," he said taking her hand, without her he wouldn't be able to make it through this stupid party.

Erica would be at the party with James all over her and Sophia with Alan talking about the baby; it was too much to deal with. What had they done to him? Once he'd been a quite sane person, he ran his hand through his shaggy brown hair, now he was borderline insane. He looked out towards the boardwalk, and there she was as if it was fate, Erica was getting ice cream with her friend Cammie and some little girl. She was so gorgeous in a blue bikini top and a light blue jean mini skirt; so much of her dark skin was exposed. He couldn't breathe; right now he wanted to be with her, she stood there laughing, a silver tiara glimmering in her dark hair. It had been a long time since he'd seen her out of her expensive designer clothes; it was like she had him under a spell.

          "Stop it," Eve said, she saw who he was looking at, and this was a big problem. This Erica thing was becoming worse then she'd thought he was still staring at her.

          "Evey, I love her," he said before he could stop himself. He also couldn't break his gaze, she looked up in his direction, and he wondered if she could see him. Or feel him watching her, she turned back to her friends and they start laughing, he wanted to get up and go to her. "What has she done to me?" He asked aloud, he turned back to Eve. She was giving him this look, a look he knew, she was worried and obviously with reason.

          "I wish I knew," she whispered. Maybe this party thing was a mistake, no it wasn't she wanted to go now more then ever. Once Danny had been a whole different person, he never got this crazy over any girl until Erica came into his life. Now more then ever she was determined to get Erica out of his life, forever.

 

 

          "Rici, where are you?" She wanted to laugh at the question, but really how could she tell him where she was? He'd disapprove and insist on coming to get her, she wasn't allowed to have fun it was forbidden.

          "I'm down on the beach with Cammie," she told him. Of course James would call to check up on her, make sure she wasn't out having a life. What was the point of marriage anyway? Well with her family it was the money, but she knew that wasn't it for him, he was all about that love stuff. Once she had loved him, but it hadn't worked out right for a number of reasons. None of which mattered anymore because he won and he had her, she was his prized possession, the piece of a*s on his arm.

          "Thought you were going shopping?" He hated to not trust her, because she knew better then to try anything stupid. But he really hated her being around her s****y friend Cammie; it was harder to control her when she was around her friends.

          "Change of plan, honey I'm fine," she hated how he always had to know where she was. If she wasn't home when he came in or if he wasn't sure where she was exactly, he'd call or come out looking for her. She had a feeling he might come down there for her, but at that moment she didn't really care. She waved to Cammie and Lola who were on a carousel, she really loved hanging out with Lola, and it made her think of the fact that she wanted a child. Now just wasn't the best time for all that though, especially with all the drama surround Sophia's pregnancy, among other things.

          "Erica come home we have things to discuss," he said, it sounded kind of serious. But she wasn't going to let him ruin the little fun she ever got to have.

          "I'll see you later when I get home," she said hanging up. So much for trying to work things out, he'd just have to realize that she wasn't just around to come when he snapped his fingers.

"So was it the husband?" Cammie asked her, she nodded.

"You're married?" Lola asked, sadly Erica nodded. "But you're so young," she went on.

          "Yeah well in my family they marry ya off young," she said. She even lifted up her hand to show Lola the diamond ring on her finger; it was more like a tracking device.

"It's more like they sold you off isn't it?" Cammie asked she was probably the only one of their friends that wouldn't marry young; she just couldn't marry for dumb stuff like money. The only guy she could ever even almost want to be with for a long period of time was Matt. Who worked two jobs and spent all of his free time surfing and with her, but she wasn't ready to settle down with anybody yet.

"Whatever you wanna call it he'll be here soon I’m sure," she said dismissively. He'd probably have a heart attack because of what she was wearing, yet he never had a problem showing her off in short clingy dresses when it came to the rich people. Here she was out having fun and in a bikini, surrounded by people who he considered to be beneath them. But none of it really mattered so much, she could be his arm piece whenever, right now she needed to be out having fun. So much had changed about James and as much as it pissed her off she knew she herself had gone through a huge transition in the time they had been together. "I feel like dancing," she announced, Lola smiled she knew the exact place for that.

          "Then we should go down where the musicians play on the pier," she said. That was one of her favorite things to do, there really wasn't all that much to do around here these days.

          "Brilliant," Erica replied that was one thing she hadn't done in a while. She never listened to live, wild, free spirited music, only because James was so straight edged about everything. As hard as it was to believe, he use to be fun and he use to be exciting. Now he was all work and appearances, no fun and he made sure she had no fun. But really what was she supposed to do? Sit around at home and do nothing? There was no way she'd do that, things like that had led her to messing around with Danny in the first place.

She was bored and there was Danny, borderline insane and depressed Danny. But she wasn't taking advantage of his weakened state of mind; it was just a thing that she did to keep herself from going crazy. One of the times James really pissed her off, she'd lain out by the pool topless because she knew how he hated things like that. That day he fired the gardener and the pool boy, he couldn't stand for anyone to look at her like that. Little did he know Danny saw her like that more then he did, but that was a secret.

          "Let us go girls," Cammie said putting her arms around both of them. She loved her free spirited life; it was all about the fun, what else was there?

***********************************

          "The book's not going well at all," Danny was telling Eve. They were walking along the beach, the waves crashing at their feet and the stars lining the sky. His so-called career was on a steady downward spiral into this abyss of nothing. All of his life he worked hard for this and now because of the temptress duo, he was screwed. It wasn't just them; there were a lot of other things too. Like this did all start when his brother died, but it wasn't just that either. There was something else, but he wasn't sure exactly what it was.

          "You'll find you muse, try not to think about it," Eve told him. The distant looks he'd get all of a sudden worried her, everything about him was worrying her. These days he just wasn't himself, maybe it was his brother or those two harlots. Whatever it was that had him so messed up was taking such a huge toll on him, but what was it? Maybe it was the writer's block or it was just stress, she really wanted to help him. But she had learned from him that sheltering problems doesn't make them go away.

"We should go swimming," he said suddenly.

          "Are you crazy? That water is freezing," she said, but she couldn't help but to smile. Maybe the old Danny was coming back, that was a lot to hope for.

          "Come on Evey, has the jock made you too prissy to have fun?" He knew taunting her about her precious Cornelius would get to her. Ever since she'd start talking to that guy in high school, Danny and his brother use to tease her constantly. Here was the Russian/ Italian rebel goddess with the popular super jock, it never made sense. And when he came back around and Eve started going out with him again, it was fun to tease her. But now she was living with him, he was off playing football now, leaving Eve to be his soon to be house wife. It was just like with Erica and her little friends, those guys only used them to have a pretty girl on their arm. Soon enough he would get down on the one knee as it was clichéd to do and pop that question. Danny hated to see it, Eve's inevitable fate; she'd be just like those girls she hated so much. She'd be accepted into a world that he would always be on the outside of, he didn't want their world. He hated for Eve to get trapped in it, but what could he do? There was no one else around to make her see sense, like his brother. Maybe, he shouldn't have come between the two of them, and then maybe his brother would still be alive. But there was really no way to know, the past was in the past and there was nothing they could do.

          "You go first then," she said choosing to ignore his teasing. He was starting to sound like the old him so it wasn't a big deal. Besides that maybe he was right, but was she really turning into those girls? If she was then she was determined to stop it that just wasn't her. But she knew if she was then it was because of Neil and she wasn't sure how she could change it.

          "Fine," he said taking off at a run and diving right in. She stood at the edge watching him; there was just no way she'd get in that water. "Come on Evey," he called to her.

          “No, I’d rather not,” she said, but he came running towards her and in one swift motion picked her up.

          “Daniel Kane I hate you so much right now,” she said as he ran into the water. The icy water cooled her temper a bit, but still she wanted to kill him. He just laughed at her, waves came in crashing against their bodies, she really wanted to kill him for this.

 

          “I love the beach at night,” Cammie said as they walked up the beach back towards the end of the boardwalk known as the Grove. It was were there were street performers like at the Santa Monica promenade, only she found it better here because this was her home and she knew these people. Sometimes her and Matt would take walks along the beach at night and visit the Grove; everything seemed to involve Matt these days.

          “Cam, you’d love the beach during a hurricane,” Erica said and Lola laughed.

          “I so would, the best waves come then,” she replied and Erica shook her head. “Oh come on now Rici you love the beach too, so don’t act like that Miss Priss,” Cammie said. It was true but she knew James so not up for that, he hated her coming here. “You should come live with me! Then me and Lo can teach you to surf, you’d really love it Rici,” she added. She really emphasized the “Rici”, only James ever called her that and he had been doing so her whole life.

          “And you wonder why James doesn’t want me with you?” Erica asked Cammie just made a face in response. “But I’ll admit that I’d love to,” she said.

          “Oh right Lo you see Erica is married to an evil dictator that hates all her friends and wants to keep her locked away in the house forever,” Cammie explained to Lola, who was just more confused.

          “Ignore her, Cammie just can’t stand the fact that there’s a person in the world that doesn’t love her and all her insanity,” Erica said. Though she didn’t get why she even felt the need to defend James, it was just a random habit.

          “Oh hush, you hated me when we first met,” Cammie said. It was true, they were polar opposites, Erica was Miss prim and proper and Cammie lived for adventure which translated into trouble most of time.

          “But I’m in love with you now,” Erica said hugging her, they spun around like little kids and Lola just laughed at them.

          “Erica,” someone called, she stopped laughing when she saw who was coming towards them.

          “Am I being punished?” She asked aloud, it was halfway directed at Cammie, who just had a sympathetic look on her face. There was absolutely no way to get away from him without making a big scene either.

          “Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said coming up to her. The way he was looking at her was making her sick and then she realized he wasn’t alone.

          “Hi Daniel, you remember Cammie right? And this is Lola,” she said. She wanted to scream, Cammie just squeezed her hand in support.

          “Hey,” he said to both Cammie and Lola, it was rude he knew, but he wasn’t thinking about that or the fact that he was freezing and Eve was pissed.

          “Oh trophy- I mean Eve, how are you? I haven’t seen you in ages,” she said when Eve joined them. The fact that the both of them were soaking wet from obviously going into the ocean was no matter to her. All she wanted to do was get as far away from the two of them as it was possible to do.

          “It has been too long,” Eve said what she was thinking was that it hadn’t been long enough. “But I’m doing well, how are you?” All this fake stuff got on her nerves, but she wasn’t going to test an obviously pissed off Erica with Danny and a child around.

          “Just peachy,” she said trying to remain calm, since Lola was there and they were out in public.

          “So how’s Neil?” Cammie asked to change the subject and purposely push Eve’s buttons. She absolutely hated to really play games with people, but for Erica’s sanity she was willing to mess with Eve a little.

          “He’s fine,” she replied in the nicest tone she could stand to have. It was no secret that Cammie had slept with Neil, she hated these people, all they did was sleep around with each other. It just made no sense why Danny kept coming back to be further tormented by these people. So what if Erica was gorgeous and the envy of everybody she knew, she would never love him or leave her rich hubby for the poor tortured writer. That was reality and none of these people ever faced reality, but it was time that they all did including Danny. Eve knew she herself wasn’t perfect, but the way Erica and her little friends tore people down and ruined their lives was ridiculous.

          “When does he get back, I forget and we’re supposed to have lunch,” Cammie went on. It was so obvious that Eve was ready to kill them both and that Danny was ready to try something with Erica, if it weren’t for Lola and this very public place, who knows what would be going on.

          “Rici,” they all heard before another word could be said, Erica was the last to turn. When she did she had a big smile on her face and she went to him, it was surprising it took him so long but she was so grateful.

          “James honey, what are you doing here?” She asked kissing him and letting him pull her into his arms as was customary for public situations.

          “I told you to come home,” he whispered in her ear. There was no reason to cause a scene, or at least that was what he thought until he noticed what she was wearing and the people she was with.

          “And I told you I’d be home later,” she whispered back slightly pissed. She could feel Danny’s eyes burning into her bare skin and James’ hands touching her.

          “Rici, we need to talk and you need some clothes on,” he said lifting her chin to make her look him in the eyes. She rolled her eyes and just nodded, he kissed her forehead. “That’s my good girl, say goodbye to your friends,” he said only serving to further piss her off.

          “James I’m your wife and not a f*****g child, and I will come home when I want to and if I wanna stay with Cammie then I will, which I am. So you can join us and we’ll talk later or you can go home and I’ll see you when I come home,” she said. The funny thing was that she knew he was considering her, she knew he too was pissed, it was no surprise.

          “Fine,” he said letting go of her and going over to where everybody stood talking and pretending like they weren’t trying to listen to what they were saying. She never expected him to want to stay, or to actually be social, but they had both learned the same social skills.

          “So what’s going on?” Cammie asked coming up to Erica, she was dying being near the gruesome twosome.

          “James wants to hang with us,” she said watching him; he looked up at her with a smile.

          “Why? Has he ever hung out with you?” Cammie asked in disbelief, this night was getting crazy.

          “Hey I’m gonna take off,” Lola said before they could further discuss the situation.

          “I’m sorry sweetie, sorry we’ve been being all boring,” Cammie said to her.

          “Oh no it’s always fun hanging out with you. I just realized that I’m supposed to be home before mom and Rich,” she said dismissively. Any time she could get out the house was a good time; home was her absolute least favorite place to be.

          “You’ll have to come over my house for lunch or something sometime,” Erica told her, she just nodded and smiled. They said their good-byes and there left the only reason war had yet to be declared on this beach.

          “So where are we headed ladies?” James asked coming back over to them, he explained that Eve had wanted to go because she was cold and wet and had to call Neil.

          “Let’s go to the club,” Erica said shocking Cammie. “James you have to meet Matt,” she said brightly. Really she knew if they were around a whole bunch of people then he couldn’t be an a*s and he couldn’t yell at her for whatever it was today.

          “Matty will be happy to get visitors, I hate when he works late,” Cammie said. She was trying to recover from the shock of Erica suggesting this. But it was obvious that no matter what she had to back Erica up on this since James was there, plus she really did want to see Matt.

 

          Matt was at the bar as always filling drinks, getting attention for women that he really didn’t want attention from. And as if by fate the one time he looked up to the door there was Cammie, followed by Erica and a guy he guessed was Erica’s husband. It was a surprise but a pleasant one; he always loved to have people around while he worked.

          “So I realized I just couldn’t keep away,” Cammie said climbing up on to the counter to kiss him. “Oh this is James and James this is Matt,” she said, the guys said hi and exchanged a few words and then Cammie announced that she and Erica were going to the bathroom.

          “What do you think this is about?” Cammie asked Erica once they were safely away.

          “I have no idea, I don’t even think we fought yet this week, so I’m clueless,” she said trying to think. “Maybe there’s an event coming up that I forgot to care about, but no my mother would have told me when we cross checked schedules the other day,” she said. This made no sense, it was one thing for James to ruin her fun, but for him to slum down here with the lesser people was just crazy.

          “If I cross checked schedules with my mother I would be locked away in my parent’s house,” Cammie laughed. The fact was that Erica had to be close to her mother since she was all her mother had and was the perfect daughter. Cammie on the other hand was the black sheep, and her sister was married with a child, therefore a better more worthy daughter.

          “Is it weird James and I do the same? I feel like we’re my parents,” she sighed, her life was a mess.

Lately things only ever seemed to get worse, she was a pro at holding her composure all the time, but lately it was one thing after another. She was beginning to wonder if it was karmic and she was getting a huge payback for everything she’d done. Though it really wasn’t her fault that she had to step over those weaker then her, like Danny and Eve, if they weren’t in the way then they’d be safe. Eve would have had almost a chance if she wasn’t friends with Danny, which proved that the world was just too small for its own good. Trophy wife could have been accepted by her peers, but that wasn’t possible because of the company she kept. Erica on the other hand could basically do anything she wanted as long as she didn’t embarrass her family.

“I give, I don’t care if my schedule matches his and my mother’s, this whatever right now is pissing me off,” she said after a minute or two. “If hubby wants to play so will I, I am not his to tell what to do,” she knew she was directing her anger at the world back to him. But it wasn’t a big deal, he was a big boy and could deal with it, he would have to.

          “Let’s just go dance and forget everything,” Cammie said, Erica just nodded and followed her out. If her life was this complicated and messy Cammie was sure that she’d have killed herself already.

They danced together right where the guys could see them; purposely they were trying to tempt them over. They’d been doing this since they’d become friends, Erica had her hands on Cammie’s hips and they both shook their butts. Erica knew not only would James disapprove but so would her mother, but she didn’t care. What did happen was that the guys came over, and right away Cammie and Matt were kissing.

          “So what did you wanna talk about?” Erica asked James as she danced on him and he just watched her amused.

          “I was talking to Miguel today and he told me something about him and Alex,” he said further amused. She stopped and stared at him, this had to be big, and otherwise he wouldn’t have mentioned it. “I had dinner with the guys and well some interesting things were said,” he told her. This worried her, if he was out conspiring with Miguel, Alan and Sam, then her and her friends were in trouble. And she owed it to herself and her friends to find out what was going on.

          “It’s time for us to go home, isn’t it?” She asked though she knew the answer, he smiled and then kissed her.

          “Babe you missed your chance,” he said with a grin that made her want to hit him. He was always finding someway to make her mad and piss her off.

          “Fine,” she said walking away and talking to some random guy, James was ridiculously jealous as she knew he would be. Going back over to Danny’s was looking really appealing right at that moment, but to try to avoid a disaster Cammie came and pulled her away. “I hate him,” she told her friend who just nodded.

          “You hate him now, but you do love him and I don’t think any of us could handle too much more scandal especially with the party tomorrow,” Cammie said trying to be the voice of reason. If it were at all possible she wanted to see Erica happy and that would have to be with James, but they both made that so difficult.

 

          After his first venture out, Danny found inspiration somewhere. He couldn’t stop typing on his computer, he was up all night. There was no way to be sure what it was that sparked his creativity, but he’d done his work and was now working on his book. Around noon Alan came over and he still couldn’t get out of the zone. Especially not for Alan’s little Sophia issues, for once the whole Sophia thing didn’t faze him at all. But when Alan started talking about Erica, his focus was lost completely. Every word that Alan said sounded crazy and foreign, but it also served to spark his inspiration a little further.

It made completely no sense that Alan had anything against Erica; she was usually just a b***h to the women that got in her way. But he listened and his fingers crawled over the keyboard on his laptop, he start planning what he’d do. Then a name came out, Daniela, a little girl. It was random, but Alan was ranting so he start making less sense. Then he was back to talking about the engagement party and other trivial things. Danny basically tuned him out as he worked hard on his book. It was amazing how everything just started to flow. It had been so long since his last book that he was surprised that he could still write. But this was inspiring and now he had something to hold over Erica. Though he was tempted to just go to James and tell him what has been going on and that he was taking Erica away from him. But this Alan thing was way better; he’d finally gotten the upper hand.

Maybe it was karma paying him back for all the suffering he had to put up with because of everything that was going on. After Alan left he showered and got ready to go out yet again, but this time he was going to Erica’s house. The one place he knew he was least welcome, though James wasn’t too suspicious, he was jealous with a temper. But last night he seemed like a pretty normal person, but Erica had some kind of effect on every guy she came close to. He wasn’t sure if he could contain himself when he saw her, the temptation to just take her away would be so strong, but he figured it was possible for him to resist. But only out of respect for the fact that it was James’ house too and it might be rude. There were just so many tempting things he could think of where Erica was concerned, Sophia could wait for now…

Author's Note

I need an opinion on this soo anything thoughts and suggestions are greatly appreciated... It's a prt of a story i started awhile go.. but i'm trying to work on finishing the whole thing... this is the first part fyi.. thanks for your help!!!

Reviews

[Nocturne]

Hi there,

I tend to do more structural critiques, so if this isn't something that you're currently focusing on in the writing process, tell me and I can look more on the overall idea (I know from personal experience that at times I wish for grammatical/structural critique, while at other times, content and idea comments are much more useful).

Here is something I noticed.

In general, am, is, are, was, were, being, be, been combined with an adjective creates passive sentences.

Such sentences tend to be much stronger and active if one substitutes the "is + adj." with a concrete active verb. For example:

"But for as icy as she acted sometimes he knew she really wasn't like that. It was her friends that were bitchy and evil, Erica came there everyday to check up on him and basically take care of him. She was a really sweet person, but still she wasn't Sophia. She was the distraction from Sophia."

could be:

"But as icy as she acted, he knew her better than that. Her friends bitched, malicious and gossipy, but Erica came everyday to check up on him and care for him. A sweet person, but still not Sophia. Erica distracted him from Sophia."

There I took out the "was"s. Now the action is done directly. It might seem a small thing, but when taken in context, the imagery and the actions seem fresher for the reader's imagination. (Though I will be the first to admit that it's also a matter of style).

The use of active descriptions makes the story easier for the reader to imagine, as well as tighter. Extra words that don't add anything to the story or lines that repeat something a reader has already understood are best taken out.

It is important to make the reader be able to visualize what is happening, what happened, and to appeal to the imagination. Perhaps more of a focus on how things appear and a snapshot of what things look like, sound like, feel like would let the reader come up with the abstract ideas that "she's really kind" for example?

Looking back on my critique, it kinda sounds "rawr bad bad prose rawr" but this story has tons of things going for it. (Which is why I decided to comment, actually). You have something great here, and I really hope you continue it to part two and maybe even longer.

I'm going to leave off now, but I'm glad I had a chance to read this piece; it was a pleasure. Good luck writing, and if you have any questions about my opinions here, please, just sent me a message.

Good luck writing!
Naiya