Sacrifice

Not my best work, am shaking off the proverbial rust on my poetry apparatus lol.

Shrieking into the empty, mocking skies,

I wonder who shall live to die,

Dance the sacrificial prayers,

And lay beneath the knife that tears,

Let the blood spill upon the ground,

In sanguine ecstasy, let me drown,

Open eyes gaze towards starlight w****s,

Whose wanton lies led to Death's doors,

Perhaps beyond the wall of sleep,

I shall nurse at Baphomet's bleeding teat,

As purple pain slips seductive to be laid,

Numb fingers grasping at Priestess' braid,

Soft lips of Holy Mother kiss me into stygian depths,

Of wandering through benighted death. . . 

I

 

Author's Note

Please send me any helpful hints RE: style, meter etcetera. I do benefit from critique.

Reviews

[Kayla]

I really like this one baby and it's nice to read your poetry again. It sounds very crowley, lol. I like the darkness of it and the strange images I get-that i might not want to explore. lol Anyways, I think with some simple editing (like taking out some of the and ands) and adding a few words to make the meter sound better it will be an excellent poem!
Love you
Awena

[Michael X]

great job, subtle touch on the rhyme scheme, the imagery and detail come to life with passionate depth and feature.

[Angelic Darkness]

I love this dark themed poem. I am a Master of it LOL!!

This poem seems like a Pagan ritual, something forbidden,
but lures us anyway.

This line is so powerful, and putting it as the leader to hold it all
together works so well in inticing: Shrieking into the empty, mocking skies,

I wonder who shall live to die,

I could almost hear the taunts and shouts thrown out in the
silent night, that of which colors. Great work, keep it up...AD

[KonxOmPax]

Some interesting things going on here. "I wonder who shall live to die" is a very nice line and sorta emphasizes the "mocking skies" as the tone of the former line seems one of derision or apathy.