From Eye To Heart (life lessons)

Lesson 1: Pantoum

A mirror beckoned me to see
reflections passed from eye to heart.
With careful loving scrutiny
I contemplate -- these lines I start.

Reflections passed from eye to heart,
thoughts read in scores my face must write,
I contemplate -- these lines I start;
my pen has seen the times I fight

thoughts read in scores my face must write,
penned peace with deep sincerities.
My pen has seen the times I fight ...
remembered now, lost memories.

Penned peace with deep sincerities,
shared love of words, together all
remembered now, lost memories.
With tact, humility will call.

Shared love of words together, all
who gaze upon glass echos; then
with tact, humility will call.
I search my soul ... remember when

who gaze upon glass echos; then,
with careful loving scrutiny
I search my soul -- remember when
a mirror beckoned me to see.

Author's Note

Richard sent me a list of ten forms of poetry he would like to teach me. This is the first of what will be a series of different forms. Some are obscure, some I'm familiar with. I choose the order we work on them and he picks the subject. I chose a Pantoum first because it is one of my favorite forms. I am going to alternate between familiar forms and the obscure. Stay tuned, this should be interesting!

I'll assume most of you know what a Pantoum is. If not, please ask. Richard (the one with the pen) has great information about forms, and poetry in general, in his blogs, profile and poetry if you are interested.

Reviews

[lightsong]

Hello👋 I know You missed me so here I am 😂😂😂

This is great Bill, very very well written! before reading your note, it's obvious that You love this form, it flowed flawlessly... It flowed as if it's You, The Pantoum is You, and You the Pantoum. Some lines are chosen very carefully, lovingly too... I feel You were giving yourself love, I can't help but feel this is personal to You, I feel the hints of sadness and loneliness there, anyway Amazing one, tell Richard I give You B++ and a 100 ;>

[William Michael Reeves]

Thanks. Busy day today. Reply later.

[William Michael Reeves]

I was wondering where you've been. It's possible we poets live lives outsde the Cafe.

Thanks for your insightful review. I do love these forms that are like puzzles. Hurts so good to write them. Keeps the synapses firing. This is introspective. My teacher might possibly kinda sorta maybe be trying to tell me something. I heard it, then wrote it. Felt it and knew it.

Turns out Richard has a grading system established already and I posted this before learning that. I'll need to drop that bit from my notes. But thank you for the added pluses. I feel plussed.

[lightsong]

I was spraying some magical dust here and there... but it seems not to work how it should be 🤷🏻‍♀️

My grading system is exposed 🤣

[JE Falcon]

"Shared love of words together, all
who gaze upon glass echos; then
with tact, humility will call.
I search my soul ... remember when"
Nothing is lost in the words of this Pantoum, however, I do like the above quatrain, best.

[Cherrie Palmer]

Richard's ability to make us better at what we do is amazing.
I love this new poem of yours and can't wait to see what's next.

[William Michael Reeves]

Halfway done with it now. But I won't give it away. He really does. The strength of his personality demands attention to detail and the prowess of his pen encourages the hope to be a better poet with his teaching style. I was surprised to see how many collaborations the two of you have done. Respectable! Glad you like this. Thanks

[Cherrie Palmer]

I like it very much. This is a form I like and haven't written one in ages. I may have to give it another try.

[William Michael Reeves]

Oh good! Let me know if you need a subject to write about. I'm finding it's motivating and challenging to let someone else pick.

[William Michael Reeves]

Actually, the one I'm writing now he created a title and I'm writing for that. Makes it interesting to incorporate that any way you wish. And then the finished product is a nice surprise.

[Cherrie Palmer]

I like it very much. This is a form I like and haven't written one in ages. I may have to give it another try.

[William Michael Reeves]

Here's your title, whether you want one or not. 'Days of Summer Spent'. You can stick it in a file cabinet and let it rot, forever forgot. Or go for it and try to hit the spot!

[Aura]

This is interesting, I've never heard of a Pantoum poem before. I searched it online though :) essentially a poem with four lines per stanza( quatrains?) The second and fourth lines are always repeated as the first and third lines in the next stanza.... ​
​
The first and third lines rhyme and 2nd and fourth rhyme. Hopefully I summarized that correctly. Thank you for teaching me a new poetry form, maybe I'll try this sometime. I love writing in free style, I haven't tried much of other poetry forms.
The poem as a whole was written beautifully. I interpret it as difficult thoughts that can be seen in one's face or their facial expression when they look in the mirror, yet it is hard to make itself on to paper, the pen has seen this struggle as this person tries to overcome the struggle and write the difficulties with determination!

[William Michael Reeves]

That is most of the Pantoum form. Besides the advancing lines and rhymes, the last quatrain uses the 3rd line from the first and the last line of the poem is the first line of the poem. Trick tricky! I wish I could paste Richard's description of the form. His are better and a little easier to understand. More complete and includes the history. If you are interested it's worth going to his profile and search his lessons and blogs.

It is possible that the mirror in this poem is a person. Reflecting what they see and want me to see. And if they who gaze into that mirror are a poet, the natural thing to do is write about it and share. But you do have the gist of it. Thanks Aura

[Aura]

You're welcome!

[William Michael Reeves]

If you are thinking about trying one on for size there's another aspect to it besides the advancing lines and rhymes. It's called iambic tetrameter. Each line has to be 8 syllables in iambic meter. It's not for the feint hearted pen. But it will help with all your writing when you understand it. Happy to explain if, and when, you might go for it.

[Aura]

Interesting, thanks for the info! I am just looking at other poetry forms but might come back to this sometime :)

[Betty Hermelee]

Hi WM.. I'm not one for forms, but I appreciate all of your talents in creativity. This poem begins with a look in the mirror, and what does this person see??? a face, but also a heart; all kind of lost memories pop up while staring into the mirror...some thoughts one must fight to recall..."shares love of words, all remembered now"....soul searching to recall ...with deep sincerity...
Nice!
Best, B

[William Michael Reeves]

Thank you for the sincere review Betty. Yes, when we look in the mirror a lot can happen. Then we write about it. Then share it , causing new memories about old. What a wonderful cycle! The Pantoum is like a cycle wheeling back around on itself. Tricky to learn but once mastered, seldom forgot. Glad you appreciate the form in your freestyle way. I like your style and form as it will be. Free!!

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome WM... I like your many styles too!
Best, B

[Lisasview]

Well, seems rather wonderful to me dearest Michael and with richard by your side what could ever go wrong..
Loved the subject matter as well...I give you an A...
Lisa, working to finish and poem today and post it..Canvas of dreams

[William Michael Reeves]

I would say Richard is guiding me. Pulling me along with encouraging feedback and excellent lessons. Not so much by my side. In these lessons he is letting me find my own corrections when they are required. The only way to truly lean. Thanks for the A. I can see why I got a B+ though. A Pantoum is tricky. The advancing lines need to make sense with the new ones and as you come to the end you have to start thinking ahead so the last lines work with the first. I stumbled a little in that regard. And the added challenge of writing on a subject picked for you makes the write interesting. (hint hint) Thanks Lisa.

[Lisasview]

Your hint hint is well noted...
By your side was the wrong wording ... guiding is far better...