In the corner of a vast garden
Grows a grave.
On the grave a tree has dug It's way
deep into the ground.
Hallowed ground to the grave.
The stone engraved long ago stands tall.
Not as tall as the tree
Standing straight as the day
The stone was planted
The same day someone was laid
To rest
Came a seed of a sapling
On the fresh earth of death
Born in the soil of a human's toil
The tree was wild!
Without intention
To disturb the memory of life.
So together they grew
Moss on a stone that was topped by a tree.
A cross
Rooting veins of time
Forgotten
By anyone who might have cared to weed
The seed above a coffin
That grew to be a tree the size of a mountain!
Making no hill.
Leaving the dead to rest still.
Undisturbed
By the roots worming a way
Through soil tilled by man and a tree.
Becoming one.
Composing songs of silent decomposition
Orchestrated in a pit that is a plot
To live!
Intertwined in a ball of life and death.
For more than a century
The stone has stood sentry over a grave that cradles a tree.
And if a storm ever topples
This stone topped by an Orthodox cross,
And the tree
Growing on a grave in a memorial garden.
Or should civilization crumble in time immemorial,
Forever as one they will be.
This grave exists. There is a massive cemetery next to a hospital and in the corner of the Russian Orthodox (coincidence?) area, this huge tree is growing right on top of a an ancient grave. The headstone is perfectly straight up and the hundred foot tree is right on the plot. The Orthodox cross has 3 crosses the bottom one slightly tilted and it looks like a tree. How the root ball hasn't bumped the stone I don't know. And the morbid in me wonders what's going on down in the dirt? Every time I see it I ponder on it and last night decided it was time to write about it.
My Review
Would you like to review this Poem? Login | Register
There are stranger things in Heaven and earth. ... I think it's how it goes. --- I'm not one to write reviews that criticize, I'm not educated enough for that, or so I been told. LOL, But I will say that I understood what you meant on all counts. As long as you're not going for some sort of award then I don't see a problem. We're here to share.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
The award would be understanding. The reward would be sharing. The awkward would be criticizing. But.. read moreThe award would be understanding. The reward would be sharing. The awkward would be criticizing. But since I am a ward of my words my pen will just keep writing forward.
Waiting anxiously to hear what you think of my answers to your questions.
OK, well I will answer with two quotes: "everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoi.. read moreOK, well I will answer with two quotes: "everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” — Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath --- AND --- “If you are not afraid of the voices inside you, you will not fear the critics outside you.” — Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones
2 Years Ago
Not those answers. But thank you for the quotes. The answers to your questions in your poem.
Holy cow! What a story this is...and it IS true. I enjoyed this so much....but I wonder if some day perhaps the tree roots will "unearth" the corpse for all to see! Now wouldn't that make the front pages? ~Sharon
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
You're killing me Sharon! Putting me in my grave and uprooting my morbid imagination! I still have t.. read moreYou're killing me Sharon! Putting me in my grave and uprooting my morbid imagination! I still have the ballade to write for the 'Grave Tree' series. You just gave me an AWFULly amazing idea! Thanks for leaving a flower at my stone!!
I won't be surprised by Blilligamis' (Billigami right?) mind thinking and writing about this rare sight (makes me think how my mind seems to be unimaginative comparing to yours here). it's is sight yet it speaks TONS of years... timeless, the dead is dead, yet the spirits are still there, maybe this giant tree has in her branches a little bit of each soul their bodies laid under her. it feels as though she is speaking... with dread power. I suggest You to add some zombies here and there and then a perfect Halloween poem is done.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
I didn't think of that. The weight of the tree on the grave then add the weight of a human life and .. read moreI didn't think of that. The weight of the tree on the grave then add the weight of a human life and a stone. How can a planet carry such a heavy load? Needed the help of a poet. But not all poets felt this was poetry as you might read if you look through the reviews. This is what gave life to 'The Grave Tree' series. Each of the poems is a facet of this gem. Like Billigami said, "read closely, you'll see all the clues." I took the sonnet and pantoum down to rework them. The Master has taken this grasshopper under his wing. They will be back in the right meter. I was wondering about you. My song feels light without the light of your song. So nice to hear you sing and shed your light on my song.
Sorry for being late to come and leave my words here Mr. Billigami, truth I rarely come to the site .. read moreSorry for being late to come and leave my words here Mr. Billigami, truth I rarely come to the site these days. so... now You are Master too? this Cafe is glowing for sure ✨
2 Years Ago
This grasshopper is far from being anyone's master. Although I did write a practice sonnet for Richa.. read moreThis grasshopper is far from being anyone's master. Although I did write a practice sonnet for Richard and was quite proud when I got his approval. On my first attempt no less! But so much to learn. I hope your distractions that leave me feeling all neglected and wallowing in poetic loneliness in the lightless dark and silent song, are not too serious. You know where to come for a distraction from your distractions. Thanks Gounwah
2 Years Ago
Believe me if Richard was impressed by You then it is real and true. from my own views of You (and s.. read moreBelieve me if Richard was impressed by You then it is real and true. from my own views of You (and sure enough I am also not a Master of anything) You have the talent and ability to be a Master of Poetry so left your head high and write. nothing serious don't worry, besides I had enough of some trolls around the cafe here keep your eyes and mind open Mr. Billgami 👀
i read the other two first .. oops! having the back story adds a lot to it .. i am a bit morbid myself and have strolled among graves .. probably not as old as the "grave tree" .. but old as far a the USA is concerned .. in most i find a quiet peace and tranquility in the company of tomb stones .. although i have left some quickly feeling a great unease .. can't say i want to understand that at all .. just feelings you know.
of the three so far i like the sonnet best .. and i am an abstract/free verse guy for the most part .. it's just that your sonnet sung to me beautifully ... this one is more straignt forward .. i enjoy the pieces of word play and rhyme here and there .. adds to the mystery of it all in a strange way ... nice work! love the theme .. glad i caught wind of them!
E.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Thanks. I went backwards on your reviews too. Cemeteries are amazing. So beautiful and morbid at the.. read moreThanks. I went backwards on your reviews too. Cemeteries are amazing. So beautiful and morbid at the same time. Conjure many visions do they. It'll be interesting to see how each version of this poem speak to the different poets. Stay tuned....
2 Years Ago
yes .. i will .. i like the use of styles you are doing as well.
I think of the places I seen that at first glance give off a vibe or appearance; just like your cemetery where stones seem to sprouting from the good soil stretching toward the sun.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Better start measuring graves. Maybe they grow and turn toward the sun in their silent fashion. Impe.. read moreBetter start measuring graves. Maybe they grow and turn toward the sun in their silent fashion. Imperceptible.
Interesting writing of life and death…a tree grows within a grave, where a body rots to bones….but the tree continues to thrive regardless, and the two now entwine as one…nothing will change this phenomenon, not even a storm.
I like this.!
Best
B.
There are stranger things in Heaven and earth. ... I think it's how it goes. --- I'm not one to write reviews that criticize, I'm not educated enough for that, or so I been told. LOL, But I will say that I understood what you meant on all counts. As long as you're not going for some sort of award then I don't see a problem. We're here to share.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
The award would be understanding. The reward would be sharing. The awkward would be criticizing. But.. read moreThe award would be understanding. The reward would be sharing. The awkward would be criticizing. But since I am a ward of my words my pen will just keep writing forward.
Waiting anxiously to hear what you think of my answers to your questions.
OK, well I will answer with two quotes: "everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoi.. read moreOK, well I will answer with two quotes: "everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.” — Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath --- AND --- “If you are not afraid of the voices inside you, you will not fear the critics outside you.” — Natalie Goldberg, Writing Down the Bones
2 Years Ago
Not those answers. But thank you for the quotes. The answers to your questions in your poem.
This is wonderful, I know a place like this so this really touched me. Very well written with great imagery and rhythm, flowed so well and fully rounded.
Cemeteries are beautiful. Partly the gardening. But the memories and significance of life in a place.. read moreCemeteries are beautiful. Partly the gardening. But the memories and significance of life in a place of death makes them so much more. Thanks Patricia.
2 Years Ago
So I reread the versions and I have to say I like this one the best. It’s full of descriptive writ.. read moreSo I reread the versions and I have to say I like this one the best. It’s full of descriptive writing that is so creative and full of distinct imagery and the free writing flows so well and it has a subtle intensity that keeps the eyes moving forward wanting more and you give it all the way to the end. Just my humble opinion of course but yes I love this piece as is
2 Years Ago
Hang tight Patricia. I'm rewriting this poem in every form. The imagination of this will be in some .. read moreHang tight Patricia. I'm rewriting this poem in every form. The imagination of this will be in some of those too so wait till I'm done. Pantoum, Villanelle, acrostic, ballade and all that I can think of. I've wanted to write multiple poems on the same subject and now Jay G. has got Billigami going!
this is a beautifully haunting piece.
the tree grows, the casualties grow...
and a country is up against a rock and a hard place.
hard like the gravestone with names being added every day.
j.
Posted 2 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
2 Years Ago
Yes, Russian graves are growing now. I'm sure some are orthodox. I really had no intention to write .. read moreYes, Russian graves are growing now. I'm sure some are orthodox. I really had no intention to write that but the coincidence that I needed to write about this grave and the tree just happened to be Russian. I didn't know it until I searched the unusual cross on all the graves in that area of the cemetery. To me that indicates a poem is right when it also encompasses something current unintentionally. Thanks Jacob.
So I’m confused. Why does breaking up a few paragraphs of narrative make it a poem? (you even left in the spaces where you hit Return to break it up) How does that give it poetic language, or image? Remember, the reader sees your comment on the why of it only after they read the text.
Since it is a narrative, and I see problems, my comments are on that:
• In the corner of a vast garden grows a grave.
Graves can’t grow. Perhaps “lies a grave?”
On the grave a tree has dug it's way deep into the ground. Hallowed ground to the grave.
Trees don’t/can’t dig. And it’s hallowed ground to people. The grave has no opinion.
Without commenting, line-by-line on the rest, it appears that the emotion, and story in your head didn’t make it to the page in a form meaningful to the reader, because they lack your intent and context. You have the tree as high as a mountain, at one point, for example. But then, it’s just a tree again.
The problem is one that can be mitigated by doing your editing from the seat of a reader, who has none of your knowledge, and only what the words suggest to them, based on their life-experience.
Please don't be sorry. Your review is one of the best I've received. I am a bit surprised at your co.. read morePlease don't be sorry. Your review is one of the best I've received. I am a bit surprised at your confusion where my metaphors are concerned. A cemetery is a garden of graves. They tend to grow, popping up here and there, and are tended. The roots of a tree do dig and the gravestone is a representation of they who lay there and the people who placed the stone and I've assigned that energy to the stone. And when you are in your grave and look up a hundred foot tree would appear to be as tall as a mountain. I'm not going to go line by line but felt my metaphors were obvious. My intention was to write free verse which is very difficult for me. Many of the lines are expressions turned backwards. Intertwined in a ball is a ball of twine. Orchestrated in a pit is an orchestra pit playing a composition of decomposition. I hit return when I felt like a complete statement was made or the line was part of the preceding and following lines. And tried to create the 'free verse' structure with that. I struggled with that a lot with this poem rearranging lines multiple times. And believe me , I was going to give up and turn it into a sonnet or something but I was determined to go for that rough halting thing that can be free verse. And don't get me started on the punctuation. I really struggled with that and still am. I really needed to set this aside for awhile and return to it fresh, but liked it so much and have so many things I'm writing I pushed it prematurely.
Your news is good news to my brain. Thank you Jay.
2 Years Ago
• A cemetery is a garden of graves.
In your mind, it is. Perhaps in your area it’.. read more• A cemetery is a garden of graves.
In your mind, it is. Perhaps in your area it’s called that. But when I say I see a garden of tomatoes, it means it's growing tomatoes. So a garden of graves… 🙄
Remember, the reader has no access to your intent, nor can they hear the inflection you place into the reading. They have to make do with what the words suggest to them, based on their life-experience.
• …who placed the stone and I've assigned that energy to the stone.
And the reader knows you’ve assigned it, how? The things you’re saying make sense in understanding your intent…after the fact. See the problem?
• And when you are in your grave and look up a hundred foot tree would appear to be as tall as a mountain
And had I been standing near that grave and looked up—with your mental outlook, I might have related it to a mountain. But…I would have seen it as a really tall tree…like the ones down the street and in the local woods.
• The roots of a tree do dig
Can they both dig and be “worming a way,” as you later say? I’d call the latter one more accurate.
That aside, I think you may focused on vivid and evocative language to the point where it might be intruding on the message—and looking at lines in isolation, rather than how they fit together.
Your writing skills are excellent. There’s no disputing that. My point is that when we write—especially when we talk TO the reader, our own internalized knowledge and intent get in the way of seeing it as a reader, who lacks that will.
One way to get around that is the traditional, “Put it aside for a month,” so when we next read it, we see it more as a reader. Another is to have the computer read it to you. That will give more of a flavor of what the reader will “hear” as they read (though unlike the computer, readers don’t look ahead at punctuation before shaping the line in speech, so it won’t be as good for the reader).
Another is to read the work in a monotone. That will show where the emotion is placed in the words by the way YOU read them, instead of being inherent to the words you choose.
Hope this helps.
2 Years Ago
It does help. I guess I believe poetry is about hiding and revealing simultaneously the subject in m.. read moreIt does help. I guess I believe poetry is about hiding and revealing simultaneously the subject in metaphor and analogy and imagining things are more than what is on the surface.
I live in Seattle. I have been a nurses aide most of my life and my experiences as a caregiver for people with disabilities has inspired much of my poetry. I love the puzzle of poetry. Expression with.. more..