Peanut Butter Bologna Sammiches

An Epigram masquerading as a recipe

Sure, you could make it on bread
But the following recipe should really be read:

1 whole
Ritz Cracker...flaky and crispy like life
Fragile! So careful with that knife
Salty like a hunger at night
Circle that's a buttery delight!

1 quarter
Oscar Meyer...slice of bologna meat
Must likely be from the cow's seat
Nice savory simplicity
Just taste the comfort. You will see.

1 half
Nutter Butter...giant spoon of peanut butter
Or use a fork to get it better
Plant half right on your tongue
Your buds will sing notes uniquely sung.

Now stack it together in the right order:

1 whole cracker of hope
1/4 slice of life
1/2 spork of love
Or go ahead and use a knife.
Just please be careful. If it breaks you'll have a handful.

Now it's complete. Savory salty and sweet!

Author's Note

I love the singular taste that happens with peanut butter and Bologna. And I bet you have some strange thing you like to eat too. And yes, I eat the peanut butter right out of the jar and halve the load with my tongue before putting it on the cracker.

As I understand an epigram it's short funny and anything goes. I may have overhymed in this one. This is the first time I began each line with alternating rhyme and ended the line with couples.

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Mike/Bill/Fred/Tom/Alice,

Your poem reminded me of an olde Monbak Family treat I used to enjoy when I was a boy living at the Muckeldedum Mental Institute.
I'll share it with you here:

"RECIPE FOR FAMOUS MONBACK OPEN-FACED PEANUT BUTTER BOLOGNA SANDWICHES"
Ingredients:
1 cup crunchy peanut butter
1 tbsp. apple cider vinegar
1 tbsp. brown mustard
1 tbsp. powdered cinnamon
1 clove crushed garlic
2 tbsp. sharp cheddar cheese (shredded)
2 tbsp. dill pickle juice
2 tbsp. cottage cheese
8 tbsp. Miracle Whip salad dressing
2 peeled bananas (sliced lengthwise and cut in half, 8 total pieces)
4 slices white onion
4 slices crispy fried bologna
4 slices toasted rye bread

Instructions:
Set aside the shredded cheese, salad dressing, banana slices, onion slices, fried bologna, and bread.
Thoroughly stir all remaining ingredients together in a bowl until the texture of cement is obtained.
Heat the bread pieces in a toaster until slightly black on both sides.
On each piece: Slather with salad dressing on one side, lay on two slices of banana, a layer of the stirred ingredients, one slice of onion, another layer or stirred ingredients.
Sprinkle cheese on top and flavor to taste with with salt and pepper.
Cook in microwave on high for 15 - 30 seconds.
Best served on a plate, eaten with a knife and fork, with a nice glass of your favorite beer.
Serves four … enjoy!

If anyone tries this, let me know how you liked it.
Ain't sharing poetic recipes sooo fun and delicious! ⁓ Richard 🤪

[William Michael Reeves]

Now I'm convinced you're a madman masquerading as an olde bard. There are a few firsts in your review: first time someone has called me Mike; first time you've reviewed one of my poems, although, providing instruction has been review enough; the first poem I've received as a review, (that does taste good!) and my first serving suggestion. I did enjoy my favorite beer last night. Thank you. I can see that you put a GREAT deal of DEdum into your response. I'll MUCK it up next time I have a momentary lapse of reasonable appetite.

Someone had just reviewed this shortly before you. I hadn't read it in a while and now that I've been schooled in the fine art of punctuation, realize I need to go through all of my poetry and correct it. Thanks for the good laugh Richard.

Bill

[Richard🖌]

I'm almost positive I received a Western Union Telegram yesterday afternoon announcing you'd changed you name from Bill to Mike … hm? Lemme take a look....ohhh, I see; it was actually delivered to the wrong party, addressed to the Alfred E. Neuman for President Campaign in Tattanooga, Chenessee to correct a bogus voter's ballad with a hanging chad.

Well,
I'll certainly straighten that out, posthaste!

[William Michael Reeves]

You're MAD I tell you!

[Richard🖌]

RAWR🙃RAWR😜RAWRRR!!!🤤

[KAREN]

I've never tried Bologna and peanut butter. Not sure about that mix! However, I found your poem to to be funny and I like the way you use the food to describe hope, life and love.

[William Michael Reeves]

The savory and sweet really do work. Add some salty crackers and you'll be livin' large!

[KAREN]

May have to try it!

[KAREN]

May have to try it!

[William Michael Reeves]

Do! It really is good. Makes a unique taste not like each other when combined. Discovered it when I was a kid but I used to just use the bologna as bread rolled up. Now as an adult I put it on a cracker. So much more refined!

[Miss Sharon]

This is too cute! But now I'm hungry for one!! ~Sharon

[William Michael Reeves]

I really do recommend it. Not for everyone but my taste buds like it. I would love to hear about it if you do try it. Fun to temper the serious poems with funny stuff. I've been trying all the forms and an epigram is on the list. Thanks Sharon.

[Kim S.]

who needs all of that, just take the jar of peanut butter and eat it like that,
mmm peanut butter alone is so good,
wonderful write

[William Michael Reeves]

I'm right with you there! PB is my main food group. I've actually had something like an addiction at one time. Went through a 5 pounder every week. Started having problems and now I only eat a 2 lb jar. Mostly straight up but celery compliments nicely too. I like Skippy. I don't really know if nutter butter makes jars of peanut butter. I think I saw some once.

[Kim S.]

I put peanut butter on my toast, I love it that way, but I use too much bread that way...

[JE Falcon]

What a memory filled poem, and what you did worked for me, I went straight for the kitchen after reading :) --- This mix of poetry and flavors brought back a mix of my own, I think I was five years old. --One slice of bologna on a slice of white bread lightly covered in Mayo. next comes a slice of American cheese, then strawberry preserves. The second slice of bread, to complete the sandwich, had a coating of PeanutButter on it, the thickness was considerable. (Note: I don't remember getting sick after eating my half, and my dog seemed to like the combination just fine on her half.

[William Michael Reeves]

That sounds like an explosion of tastes! Never did try adding jam. I'll have to try it. If a poem can generate thoughts in the reader it's doubling satisfying when it generates action. Then to get lost in a kitchen of memories. Happy remembering! Thanks

[Kelly Scheppers]

Bologna with peanut butter, eh? I've never tried it, but I love Jif, and you've certainly aroused my taste buds. I sometimes grab a tablespoon, and take a dip...and call it lunch! Nothing better with a banana, too. Your delivery has now made me hungry. Everything tastes better when it sits on a Ritz!

[William Michael Reeves]

Do try it. I used to just wrap peanut butter in a slice of it. They combine to something unique. Not for all I'm sure. The buttery salty cracker compliments and keeps the fingers cleaner. Thanks Kelly, I'll come check you out.

[keith]

as a sack lunch toting kid responsible for making it i tried many 'ideas' for peanut butter sammiches ...
peanut butter lettuce and onions
peanut butter onions yellow mustard
peanut butter and crumbled potato chips
peanut butter with homemade preserves
and my favorite peanut butter with peanut butter!

might explain my 'what box'? nature

[Cherrie Palmer]

I do like to put barbecue potatoe chips on my baloney sandwich

[Cherrie Palmer]

No no no just don't do it:)

[William Michael Reeves]

Don't do what? Spell potato with an e!

[Cherrie Palmer]

Peanut butter and baloney

[William Michael Reeves]

Oscar Meyer would say it's B-O-L-O-G-N-A. But then my writing is just a bunch of baloney so I think you're right.

[Patricia]

this was fun to read and interesting taste buds you have there :) and yes I have my quirky food likes and my favorite mixture is bean with bacon soup and it has to be Campbell's soup with fried bits of Bologna in it and it has to be Oscar Mayer's beef bologna and then a generous swirl of mustard and it doesn't matter what bran of mustard, see I am not all that picky. My family thinks it's disgusting but I love it! the writing was creative by the way as much as the topic. well done

[William Michael Reeves]

I'm with your family on that one Patricia! That sounds disgusting! Disgusting enough to write a poem about. And the family reaction. Glad you enjoy...my poem and your quirky delicacy!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Yes, Peanut Butter and Bacon sandwiches, since I was a little kid in the Bronx.
hot, crispy bacon melting the peanut butter...crunchy and delicious...but very much need a drink with it or it might permanently stick to the roof of the mouth.

[William Michael Reeves]

That does sound delicious! I might even drizzle a little syrup on that. But what to drink with it? You probably have a spot of that wine you were spilling with Bukowski in the Pugilist. I'd go with a Smith and Wesson then shoot my myself with it.