Celestial Musings

A Garland of Cinquain

Spinning
Our planet gives
Belief we are setting
Creates illusions of rising
Around

Sleeping
Our Moon lives
In tandem nights dreaming
Lunar songs in lucid lighting
So sound

Scorching
Our Sol forgives
With iced fusion warming
Nourishing rays of life burning
The ground

Singing
Our Sun's motives
Cosmic lyrics hearing
Astral bodies sweep composing
Profound

Spanning
Our all outlives
Infinite creating
For eternal time expanding
No bounds

Spinning
Our Moon lives
With iced fusion warming
Astral bodies sweep composing
No bounds

2022

Author's Note

Five consecutive Cinquain is called a Crown. A Garland has a sixth made up of the five. Other than the syllable count anything goes which doesn't make Billigami very happy. That's why the first line has to start with S. The second starts with Our. The first and last line have to make sense together. And all the rhyme and reason of it. Every time I look in the mirror I tell him his thing makes my brain hurt. He just laughs at me from inside the ethereal mirror.

I want to thank Cherrie Palmer for letting me know about Cinquain and inspiring me with her own celestial musings. I was also inspired by the song 'Do You Realize' by the Flaming Lips. "Do you realize that the sun don't go down. It's just an illusion caused by the world spinning around!"

Extra points for the first poet to list the 5 celestial references in order

Reviews

[Patricia]

very nicely done! this made me think of when I sat down and really listened to the sounds the planets and moons make, each sing their own song. Love the universe, although we are polluting that as well. sorry there I go, I'll stop. I loved this a lot.

[William Michael Reeves]

Don't stop there Patricia! You're right space pollution is a problem especially when Russia is blowing up satellites. Let your thoughts go as much as you feel like. That's what this is for. Thanks

[Patricia]

you're welcome ;)

[Kim S.]

Spinning
Our Moon lives
With iced fusion warming
Astral bodies sweep composing
No bounds

"Cinquain's" form intrigue me, This is so wonderful.
such a wonderful write

[William Michael Reeves]

I like that you pulled out the last Cinquain made up of the others. Keeping in mind that somehow it had to make sense had me changing the others a little. Keep in mind the only rules are syllable counts. So if you try one don't think you have to follow rules like I made up for mine. Glad you enjoyed my writing!

[Ada]

This piece has fantastic composition...its not jumpy nor does it try to tackle too many unrelated themes in mumbo jumbo...this is what effective poetry is all about...a pleasure to read!

[William Michael Reeves]

Thank you for coming back to it for another review. In other forms like haiku and stuff like that it almost wants to stumble into profound meaning. I felt like Cinquain with it's progressive syllable count would want to be smooth like an orbit in a vacuum. But now space is full of junk around us. We will have to venture further for smooth verbal pleasure. Glad you enjoyed!

[Ada]

This piece is a reminder that the universe is expansive and limitless...you do a nice job detailing what happens in space for those who readers who may not have a lot of background information.

[Cherrie]

Ya know Bill this is truly elegant. You talents really show through.
I love how you blend the lines and make the rules seem so simple.

[JE Falcon]

Hmm, and now you have me wondering if I want to try this. :) --- None the less, this was a 2-reader, I liked it the first time around, but the 2nd was needed to make sure I didn't overlook anything. (Old eyes do not a perfect picture make.)

[William Michael Reeves]

And now your old eyes have to read what I just wrote to you about what I mined from your poem a minute ago.

Give it a go. The crown of Cinquain is one thing but if you do the 6th and make it a Garland it becomes something like a pantoum having to think ahead about what the end reads like.

I hope you liked the Senryu I wrote for you

[William Michael Reeves]

Oops! you did. I was thinking of someone else

[JE Falcon]

LOL was my intent, but the computer wanted more, so, LOL again.

[Betty Hermelee]

I like the structure of this poem, dividing into different actions of the cosmos.; sleeping,scorching, spanning, singing...seems like a great party up there...love your images too.
Best,
B.
PS, I give you a lot of credit for this type of poem!

[William Michael Reeves]

Thanks Betty. Some good credit will help when I run out of my cache of words. Universe party! I like that! The tricky thing about Cinquain is like Haiku. How do you say it in so many syllables?. Thanks

[Betty Hermelee]

You're very welcome!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

And you get the crown for producing the format, and taking us into an astral plane.
Much like the Dream Weaver.
j.

[William Michael Reeves]

I do believe we can make it through the night to the morning light. What do they say? Heavy is the head that wears the crown.