Walking Cobwebs

My first attempt at a pantoum

I am standing still in life's busy street
I did not know who or what I should be
Got walking cobwebs all over my feet
Walking cobwebs have got a hold on me

I did not know who or what I should be
So upon apathy I took a seat
Walking cobwebs have got a hold on me
Responsibility I've tried to beat

So upon apathy I took a seat
Spiders of doubt were not letting me see
Responsibility I've tried to beat
Webs of lethargy hang in my brain's tree

Spiders of doubt were not letting me see
Motivation has become obsolete
Webs of lethargy hang in my brain's tree
Dusty thoughts of living are incomplete

Motivation has become obsolete
When walking cobwebs won't set my mind free
Dusty thoughts of living are incomplete
Decayed shadows of my future forsee

When walking cobwebs won't set my mind free
Commitment and retreat always compete
Decayed shadows of my future forsee
I am still standing in life's busy street

2021

Author's Note

I cleared the cobwebs out long ago. This is based on dusty memories of lethargy.

Writing this made Billigami's brain feel all warm and fuzzy! Thanks for telling me about pantoums Mattavalli. Working on a sonnet now. I need to do a Cinquain and Chaiku. Any other forms I should try?

I went with 10 syllables per line. I intentionally flipped the words in the last line.

Reviews

[Patricia]

Isn’t it funny when and where these little moments become life changing? It’s funny I wrote of my cobwebs like ten years ago and was hit the same way you were, just a random moment in life and realize how important it actually is, time to sweep those cobwebs away and make a clean space for something or someone. I love this!

[William Michael Reeves]

I've been enjoying what you've been filling the space with lately. Interesting you came to this. I just mentioned this poem to Robert as one of my songs I turned into a poem. Cobwebs are creepy in a funny sort of way. Ethereal yuck!

[Patricia]

LOL yes they are and thank you. I will help fill your space with my words and you can help fill mine with yours :) cobweb free

[Betty Hermelee]

Glad you were able to set those cobwebs free…otherwise you’d be stuck in this mire of conflict within, not knowing which direction to seek.
I think we all go through that feeling at different times in our lives…kudos to you!
Best and merry everything!
Betty

[William Michael Reeves]

We all do at some point. Kick the cobwebs off and run into our lives. I was challenged to write a pantoums and had this little idea kicking around in the webs. Merry Christmas to you too Betty!

[mattavelli]

Hello, William! :)
This was a fun bluesy read. You seem to be caught in a web of conflicting feelings, and your spidery theme worked well to express it. I don't usually like inversions of sentences, but you used them well, and the lines bounced along carrying your message. Besides a bit of cheating on form in the last section, I think its great. What stood out most for me was your clear message. Every other day I feel stuck in my rut . I'll check my feet for cobwebs next time. Haha... Thanks for sharing your pantoum. We don't get many of these here.