I Am A Man

Based on my haiku 'Toxic'. This is dedicated to Matavelli...who questioned me.

I am a man
~ and all that comes with that ~
Generations of genetics built me.
Millennia of memories shape me.
Instincts driving primal necessity
to feed;
to shelter.
To procreate and propagate.
Primeval instincts I carry with me.

By my side is a woman
~ and all that there is to that ~
Fealty to family grounds her.
Loyalty to lineage binds her.
Balanced energy in body and mind
to seed;
to nurture.
To investigate and select a mate.
Primitive roles so clearly defined.

I am a man
~ and all that is wrong with that ~
Centuries of shame haunt me.
Histories of hypocrisy drown me.
Blindly conforming to ancient doctrine
to hate;
to defeat.
To intoxicate and agitate.
Primordial deeds done in sin.

At my side is a woman
~ and all that is afraid of that ~
Vulnerable victims cry for her.
Mothers of maidens fear for her.
Enslaved, burned, lobotomized
to rape;
to be meat.
To always wait and accept her fate.
Primarily crushed under male pride.

I am a man
~ and all that is right with that ~
Years of youth have honed me.
Travels through time teach me;
commitment to character enables wisdom
to heed;
to father.
To emancipate the future of fate.
Priming engines of respect in my son.

Side by side is a woman
~ and all that can be of that ~
Engineering ingenuity lifts her.
Elevating equality drives her.
Female intellect finally unfurled
to lead;
to temper.
To mediate and patiently tolerate.
Primed to flourish and change the world!

2021

Author's Note

What do you mean by toxic masculinity?

Billigami is my alter ego. He folds words into poetic puzzles. Then poor Bill has to come along and try to say what needs to be said within those parameters. This poem is complicated. The alliterative lines of the male stanzas have to relate to time. The last line of each stanza has to begin with prim. The 5th and 8th lines have to form a complete sentence. And so on, and so forth. Study it and you'll see it all. (If you like that sort of thing read 'Dan's Journey'. It's a brain bender) Every word weighs heavy with meaning. Investigate refers to ancestral medicine women and wicken who played an important role in our survival. Agitate is directed at our former president. The Cheeto in Chief. Toxic Orange. The epitome of toxic masculinity. Lobotomize. As recently as the 1930's husbands would bring their wives in for a lobotomy for being disagreeable. And women would give testimonials that their lobotomy helped them do better housework. I CANNOT WRAP MY BRAIN AROUND THAT!! I did not want to use the word rape. But I had to. I'm glued to the news every day and sometimes I'm ashamed to be a man. I wish I could recite this poem for all of you. I try to write so the reader is forced to read it as I would recite it. By the 5th stanza you should be yelling. Shouting this poem to all the men in your lives. I'm not ashamed to say I cried, really cried, when I finished the 4th and the 5th stanzas. I thought about going through and perfecting my syllable counts. And I did. In my head. I chose to leave it as it is. It is right. As the ideas are folded into words they become heavier and heavier. If I could weigh this poem it would weigh more than the Earth men walk on.

(Just improved punctuation 5/22/2022)

Reviews

[mattavelli]

Hello, Bill! :)
Opinion and perspective are always unique, and you've presented yours clearly here, passionately.
I don't think there's any inherent negative to either of the sexes; rather, there are characteristics that may seem out of place in a given situation, and excess can be obnoxious, and that each individual is unique.
I'm honored by the dedication. I don't feel I deserve it.

[William Michael Reeves]

Oh, you do! I spent 4 days in pure poetic agony and ecstasy because you asked me a question. Please don't do that anymore, or at least until I have the next few finished. I spent 3 hours Sat morning searching for the last word I needed. Thank a lot....MAN!

[William Michael Reeves]

And I misspelled your name. Sorry. I'll fix that

[Esther:)]

I found it to be a beautiful reflection of how each gender thinks, feels and acts. A poem very close to my heart. I really felt this

[William Michael Reeves]

Unfortunately you can feel the effect of both aspects of the male condition. I hope you have had good men in your world who might have helped take out the trash of life. Writing from a female perspective is difficult, but not hard to imagine. Thanks Esther.

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

This was one deep in-depth poem! Written very well! Billigami out did himself!

[William Michael Reeves]

Deep into the depths of disgrace. Then lifted to the heights of grace. This was a roller coaster to write feeling every word as I 'wrode' with it. (Ooooh! I like that word I just made up. The journey of writing. Wrode.) thanks Kathy!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

You are welcome!

[K writes]

This is amazing, My hubby and I get along too well, we read each other's mind a lot.
Love this

[William Michael Reeves]

Thanks. Amazing things are happening. A guy I worked with recited this as a prayer in his group. I've made people laugh and cry. Girls swoon. But for someone to think so much of my words to use them as a prayer....what's next? Poet Laureate!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Very profound and strong statements within this piece. One can tell a lot of thought went into its composition. I come from a culture that exudes toxac masculinity. We tend to refer to it as "Macho". It wasn't rare to see a man slap or berate his wife in front of family. In ways it was encouraged. Beatings were synonymous with love. The more the beating the stronger the love. Years of being fed this male dominant perspective allows for this cultish mentality to thrive and take root within impressionable young minds who continue to propagate this behavior. It is not seen as a choice but as an acceptable cultural rite. Especially in those of faith where the differences of gender roles are more pronounced and acceptable. Coming from a generation of the 60's and 70's where this type of behavior was prevalent it shaped my mind. It took years to rid myself of this brain washing. It is a choice to either behave like a human being or an animal. There is absolutely no justification in the treatment of others inhumanely regardless of gender or station in life. When a people get to the point where they begin to care so little about others in society it leads to a systemic breakdown of social norms. We can point to the past to justify the means of their behavior, but in the end what truth truly reveals is the choice to be that way. No one puts a gun to the head of another and tells them to beat their significant other, it is a choice they choose to make for themselves. Just my thoughts on this subject. Thank you for sharing your poem with us.

[William Michael Reeves]

That is exactly what I was writing about Carlos! You are write on!!! I was thinking this is an apology to women. Your review touched that. Men have to find the strength to combat that which they have no control of. Tradition. Instincts. And those of us who do find that strength have to help those who can't. Priests. Boy scout leaders. Rapists. Abusers. Molesters. War mongerers. Political agitators. All of it driven by instincts. Carl Sagen wrote about the Reptilian part of our brains, limbic system, and autonomous function of it. Sex drive is one of those. It had tto be more powerful than hunger. The species wouldn't have survived. We still carry that and the result is on the news everyday. If I could I would post my poem on every street corner throughout the Middle East, Africa, parts of Asia, South America. And if I could I would post your review right below it. It is as profound as my poem!! I would have them look to our culture and see what happens when we work side by side with women. Elevating accomplishments. If only we had seen the light earlier!!!!

[Carlos Lorenzo Estrada]

Your words resonated with me because I come from that generation that define our current societal ills. Even in the hatred and bigotry that ran rampant during those decades. It was a pernicious and vile time that laid the seeds for future generations after to propagate these same vices. I war with that mentality daily to try to see the world through a better humanity instead of a failed one. And still I am lead to the profound truth that these attitudes are a choice. We will not become a better world until we choose to be better human beings.

[William Michael Reeves]

So right!
By the way, I hope you liked the Senryu I wrote for you. The power of your words you've expressed here is what I'm talking about in your Senryu. Amazing!!

[lightsong]

WOW! and WOW!!! AND WOOOOWWW!!!!! from what I first read from You into THIS?!! stunning, really the ability of your talent, feelings, wisdom, your very manly essence, both the strong and sensitive, don't be hard on your self my dear friend for things You did not do, it's enough that You stand like this, Thank You, and bless this heart and soul. You reminded me with this poem, I hope You will read it when You can :>

https://www.writerscafe.org/writing/Flaccidbunny/2786894/

[William Michael Reeves]

You hit it right on the head! Not our fault that we have to battle instincts we are born with. And some men , for whatever reason, lose that battle and the rest of us have to live in their shame.
This poem poured out of me. I would finish a stanza and just about scream. I cried. Literally. Thanks for recognizing my talent. You and everyone else are inspiring me! More doozies are coming...stay tuned!

[Patricia]

This is very good and I know how much society, marriage, just life puts on men’s shoulders and nowadays on women taking on the same roles. I still think we should be human, just human. I really think we need to throw those stereotypes away and maybe we would be more supportive and sympathetic but people judge by sexes and so it takes perspective out of it and judgment to the sex ensues and that never goes well. Respect and understanding is not so difficult.

[William Michael Reeves]

I feel like men in the middle east need to read this more than anyone. Roles and judgement based on ancient traditions that suppress feminine contributions. Glad to hear a female perspective. Thanks