LIfe

ITS A DEPICTION OF WALKING THRU LIFE KNOWING GOD'S REAL. BUT BUT STILL REBELS. STILL TRYING TO LIVE A JUST LIFE. TIMES GET HARDER. BUT DOESN'T WANT TO DO THE DEVILS JOB.

FLOATING

WHY SO CHARISMATICALLY FREE WALKING ON GODS GREEN EARTH

KNOWING ITS HIM WHY I BREATH

BUT I STILL DO WHAT I THINKS BEST FOR ME

REFUSING TO RELEASE EVERYTHING I HOLD GOLD

CALLING MY SELF A KING BUT WHY SO UN-KINGLY

ONE STEP ITS BLUE SKY'S

BEFORE A BLINKING OF AN EYE THE SUN SETS

NOT EVEN A SIGN JUST DARKNESS

OVER YEARS OF LIVING LITTLE TO NO GROWTH

S**T IT'S HARD JUST TRYING TO FLOAT

TOWARDS WHAT

WITH NO DIRECTION

SEEMING AT TIMES THIS CUP WILL NEVER PASS ME

UP UNTIL satin RUNS ME BACK INTO HIS UN-GODLY ARMS

I FIGHT AND FIGHT AT EVERY HAND

IS IT SOMETHING I'M DOING WRONG

HIS WORD SAYS THE MEEK SHELL INHERIT THE EARTH

MY CO-WORKER SAYS AS LONG AS I DO GOOD IT HAS TO UNFOLD
BACK TO YOU

I BELIEVE THAT BUT WHAT IF WERE WRONG

I'M A ENEMY TO THE EARTH YET I FEEL I HAVE NO ENEMIES BUT
MY SELF

Author's Note

GO BACK TO GOD'S ARMS. CAUSE AS LONG AS YOUR A BELIEVER OF GOD THE WORLD IS AGAINST YOU. BECAUSE ITS THE DEVILS PLAYGROUND SO ITS HARDER BY YOURSELF. BE NOT OF THIS WORLD BUT BE YE TRANSFORMED BY THE RENEWING OF YOUR MIND.Romans 12:1-2

Reviews

[temoralez]

Thoughts:
I like the religious aspects to this poem. I'm curious as to what the author is floating over? The earth?

Constructive Criticism:
I noticed you used "its" instead of "it's" a few times just simple corrections is needed. In the 4th line, "thinks" makes it a little confusing; try breaking it apart into "think is." The 2nd to last line is a little confusing, "I believe that but what if were wrong." I confused about who's wrong? Do you mean if he was wrong? Or you?