The Sail Boat Mircale: Chapter Three.

Chapter Three : Sneaks

 

Long after the rain stopped, I sat up from the hay bail and let out a not needed sigh. I ran my hand through my damp bronze-dark brown hair and got off, setting my feet to the ground. I looked around, everything in check. I shut off the radio and got my jacket, putting it on, opening the huge barn door and walking out, pushing it closed. I locked the front, so no one would get in again. I felt the wet,mist hit me as I walked out. I loved the smell and feeling after a good rain. I wondered when the snow would come down again. The snow was half melted from the rain. Odd weather down here I thought walking down the road back to my house. I sighed and smiled softly seeing the dim light come from inside the kitchen and living room windows. I walked up the white stairs onto the long half porch that wrapped around the front of my house. I opened the screen door then the black door with the large gold bird knocker. I opened the door with a slight jiggle and then walked in, kicking off my shoes and smelled the chicken coming from the kicthen,hearing the football game from the living room, my father and brother yelling loudly at how the Patriots were loosing. I smiled. Home. I started towards the stairs to move to my room but my mom's call stopped me. I backed up and went to the home-style country kitchen peeking in with my head. "Yeah mom?" I asked and sighed softly. "Mr. Hanely wondered if we would all come to his christmas party in a week? Would you go?" She asked slowly, She knew how badly Chris's death hurt me. She was over the stove, putting in the mini ziti, I shrugged leaning in the door way, folding my arms loosly. She turned over her shoulder to see my face as she then turned her attention to fixing the salad. I shrugged and she let out a concerned sigh. "Well me, your father and Tom are going, you don't have to-"I cut off her soft speaking voice, with a sigh as I nodded. "Of course I'll go, Pat and Susan, I miss them" I said forcing a realistic smile as she turned and smiled. "That's my girl, now go change you smell like, wet dog" She winked and I rolled my eyes with a smile. I went to the living room and sighed looking "Not winning eh?" I smirked and my brother and dad both turned their heads for a small glare before my brother yelled at the tv at the Chigaog Colts, and my mom came in and smacked him right side on the head, making my day. I laughed and then sighed smiling as I walked out the creeky stairs and then headed down the small length right hall and turned into my light color blue room with my bedspred, un made. my mother thought it was good to make us work to become something.  I walked in, looking around for a moment, before searching through my draw's for my comfy, warm fiting sweats, and slunng on my old dnace tee. I sighed and flopped down on my bed, before that turning on my Ipod dock  to M83's Too Late. I sighed and looked at my ceiling rolling over to my berrow and then looked at the photo of me and Chris. I gave a weak smile as I felt a gush of wind blow my hair, I turned around. My window wasn't even a crack open.

Author's Note

Reveiw :D!!

Reviews

[Brighid an Lasair]

You seem much more confident in this chapter; great job with imagery and really pulling the reader into the room with you!

I laughed and then sighed smiling as I walked out the creeky stairs and then headed down the small length right hall and turned into my light color blue room with my bedspred, un made.

This feels awkward, like you're grasping for details that you're not sure of yet. What you might want to do to help resolve this is take a notebook or separate file and label all of your scenes and describe them in advance so you have the details before you start writing about each place. I find it helpful to keep a log of my settings and characters (down to their likes/dislikes, hair color, eye color, favorite color, travels, etc.) It may seem like a lot of work, but I think it will be very useful for you!

I sighed and flopped down on my bed, before that turning on my Ipod dock to M83's Too Late.

This sentence feels awkward also, but this, I think, could be very easily remedied just by changing it slightly to something like:

"Letting out a sigh, I walked over and turned on my Ipod dock before flopping down on my bed to listen to M83's Too Late."

Just a suggestion :)

Happy writing!