The Sail Boat Mircale

Preface~

The Year was 2004. The Summer was going great, well, almost great in the small tourist town of York Manie. This place was always good for tourists. But it was very quiet, serine, peaceful, magical. Chris Hanely has been my neighbor all my life in York, living on Grabble Lane in the blue house, right next to my road wh. I was thriteen that summer, he was at the tender age of fourteen. Just one year older to me didn't matter much. He hung out with me all the time. We did everything together no matter what. I could say, That I loved him. I really did.

 Remebering the day like it was yesterday, it was a hot summer day. Chris's dad owned a boat. A beautiful, light cream sail boat, with a blue strip along the side. We the ocean right near us, and he took us there. Chris's sunglasses fell off and he jumped in even though his dad told him not too. It was after about 20 mintues later. He drowned, he didn't resurface. He died that day. July 25th, 2004. It was something, that I never got over. Even still to this day, I never let myself forget, that Im, Hallie James, love Christopher Brad Hanley. A year later the Sail boat was named after him. SSC.

Four Years Later.

I felt the cold mist come from my window. Did I leave it open last night? I sighed not bothering to open my eyes yet, too early. I could tell, rolling over snuggling the purple and pink vinatage, floral blankets over me. I felt an odd sensation over the bottom of my feet, shurgging it off as one of my cats. Probably Jude, my grey tabby, he was the more frisky one of the two

. I had another year of my Junior year in Highschool. I was now 17, turning 18 in late August. It was another Cold November day, like any other day in York , Maine. I sighed and rolled over again in my bed, opening my eyes slowly. I saw that the fresh snow had just fallen for the second time this week on the yellowish, grass. I sighed softly , blowing a stray pecice of bronze hair out of my face , looking out the window. It was Tuesday. Just three more days to waste my life in that school. I rolled over to the other side to see my clock with a hint of blue peeking out. But something was in front of it. Jean's. I looked up slowly to see a guy. He had blonde curly hair that cut off at his ears, and green eyes, staring me down with a grin. My eye's widened with shock and I sat up quickly my mouth opening up for a scream when he put his hand over my mouth swiftly. "Jeeze Hallie, it's just me" He said in an all farmillar voice

. My eyes openend in horror. He gave out a deep sigh , slowly removing his hand from my mouth as he took a step back, still with a smirky grin. He spun around with his leather jacket twirling with him and his grey shirt fitting to him along with a small fisher man band on his wrist. "Guess who's back!" He said in a loud whisper with a smile turning to me. I looked at him and took a deep breath in. Trying not to have a mental meltdown as I tried to think of more conclusions than what  was thinking now. "Chris?" I asked slowly and a wide grin spread across his face where the same, goofy dimples popped out making me smile a bit.

 Then I thought. Is this real? Or another sick dream.. I turned to him as he took my arm out of the bed and then shook my hand, his hand was cold, but still the same tan color. He grinned down with perfect white teeth and my mouth slighty open, breathing in and out air. "What? No welcome back?" He said chuckling quietly as I shoom my head in disbelif.

 

Author's Note

Please, If I have Grammar isssues. Ignore them. I do not need any grammar nazi's on my tail. Also, if you like what your reading, please comment me or on this book. Thanks so much!! -Lauren

Reviews

[Brighid an Lasair]

I think you could have something here, I also see a lot that could be expanded on. Considering you have listed this is a book, I'm sure that will come in time. Some pointers for you: really think about the characters, their interactions and personalities, how different environmental factors play into each scene as you write it (sunlight through a window, rain, etc.) You have a good start, give the characters more dimension, make them come alive. The same thing applies to your settings, tear them apart and describe them exactly as you see them. For something simple, like "The sat quietly on the lawn" ask yourself; is the grass green, or has it faded to a yellow brown in the summer sun? These little details are the ones that make stories live and really let your readers put themselves there.

You have a great start, and a good idea, I'm sure that you can write something phenomenal!

[Brighid an Lasair]

I really enjoyed the added detail here, definitely helps to bring you into the room, very nice :)

[Annie N.]

wow... this is... simply incredible